Need To Know 1998-08-21

archive

[Yes, our enforced two-week "leave" continues, but a skeleton crew remain here in the sweltering offices, sweeping up the tired old URLs and stacking them into this moderately compact place-filler. Instead of our usual hard- hitting news headlines, this week we've resorted to ridiculing other people's coverage; instead of the regular up-to-date info on the latest applications, there's a rap sheet of our own little contributor plug-ins. Thanks for bearing with us - NTK will be "super size" again soon.] __ __ _21/08/98 _ _ _____ _ __ <Nasty, British and Short> | \/ (_)_ __ (_) \ | |_ _| |/ / o Join! Mail 'subscribe ntknow' | |\/| | | '_ \| | \| | | | | ' / o to majordomo@unfortu.net | | | | | | | | | |\ | | | | . \ o Website (+ archive) lives at: |_| |_|_|_| |_|_|_| \_| |_| |_|\_\ o http://www.ntk.net/ "Following the announcements of various warlike activities (that I won't bother mentioning here) both MSNBC and CNN's websites basically blew up." - CmdrTaco, slashdot.org ...Clinton unleashes "denial-of-service" attack to gag net! >> META NEWS << recycled refuse "ISDN-like speeds over existing phone lines without the price premium of ISDN", trumpeted ZDNet UK about BT's HOME HIGHWAY, launching mid-September. Well, two out of three ain't bad: Home Highway does have a different analogue socket to BT's existing ISDN2e service, but - you've guessed it - nearly all of the cost. Other concerns are whether there'll be enough rack space at the exchange end if there's high take-up, and (ZDNet again), the implicit "thumbs-up to e-commerce, video and graphics-intensive Web sites". Hey, at 128kpbs, Lynx really rocks. http://www.seg.co.uk/seg/isdnpric.htm - their big chance to keep ADSL expensive http://www.bt.com/ - telcos must *love* those stammerers... Newspapers at last seem to have stopped running free ads for SONY now, following the remarkably well-publicised recall of the company's supposed "X-ray vision" camcorder. Of course, most CCD cameras are sensitive to the infra-red end, as enthusiastic TV remote-control experimenters will know. Subscriber Paddy Smith says that NTK fave the Tyco Kiddie-Cam "can see at least as well in IR as in visible light", and advises using black bin liners as impromptu filters. Stick them over your light sources, kids, not over your heads. http://www.cs.ust.hk/~wwkin/SeeThrough/ - next: Kryptonite cellphones And do-it-yourself conspiracy theorists are having a field day over Bill Clinton's latest diversionary tactics - though he could just use the "Basic Instinct" defence: because his actions were so effectively predicted by lame Hollywood satire Wag The Dog, *he'd be much less likely to actually try it*. Most prejudiced reportage so far: cnn.com, who at 9am this morning launched their poll with "Do you think the attacks were primarily meant to be: a) A strike against terrorism; b) A distraction from the Lewinsky investigations" - then only put a clickable radio button next to the second one. http://www.ntk.net/doh/cnn980821.gif - fixed it now, doh >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious Radio Channel Networks sue BROADCAST.COM for $7m over use of phrase "Radio Channel" on their site... WEBCOMPUTERS' new "Commodore 64" really a Win3.1/DOS box plus emulator... VISUAL C++6 ships two weeks early, but without help system... MICROSOFT patents memcpy... http://www.mi5.gov.uk runs on Apache/Unix, yet job ads seek only "NT skills"... "Matt Drudge stories sometimes 'not 100% reliable'", confides news.bbc.co.uk's CHRIS NUTTALL (possibly the new Richard Barry, in case you missed his slashdot-inspired "Newsgathering On The Net" retraction)... punk bands REO SPEEDEALER and FURIOUS GEORGE both "in discussion" with owners of original trademarks... http://www.infind.com *always* lists a COMPAQ "Copyright" page (under Misc. Commercial), despite search terms like "satan worshippers", "child murderers" or "makers of dodgy PC clones"... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Oh god, more "World Of Amiga" flashbacks as the second MIND SPORTS OLYMPIAD relocates to the Hammersmith Novotel, London (24-30/08/98). Perhaps more surprisingly, the BABYLON 5 WRAP PARTY (21-24/08/98, Radisson Edwardian Hotel, Heathrow, London) is hosting sessions that are almost as cerebral as the bone structure of the Minbari: drama, talks by Bryan Talbot and Harlan Ellison, plus workshops on "Terraforming Mars". The show's producers have also announced a "strategic alliance" with NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, to assist B5/Crusade's portrayal of science, technology and astronomy. NASA will presumably benefit from B5's experience in alien politics, space station construction and maintaining long story arcs. http://www.steamradio.com/wrapparty - also features JMS, aka "The Great Maker" http://www.mindsports.co.uk/mwr.html "All-Time Greatest Mind Sports Champion"? Now that's stupid. >> TEENY TRACKING << you know who to blame Our original plan [see NTK 14/08/98] to print the names and URLs of our usually unnamed contributors hit several snags, not least of which was that many of them would no doubt prefer to remain anonymous, given the nature of their employment and/or other activities. Instead, we'll be creating a dedicated opt-out webpage for our "special friends" somewhere off the NTK site, complete with all the useful news sources we access, so if you're insanely determined to produce your own version, you'll be in with a fighting chance. Open source - it's not just a saying. It's the law. >> KIDDIE'S MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista return of CURSE OF THE CROW... the real STAR WARS PREQUEL: "Exoatmospheric Kill Vehicle"... good attitude, but no taste: http://www.pinkysplace.com/thezone.htm ... why not nominate http://www.netstudio.com/makeover/ for their own http://www.netstudio.com/muddies/ awards - "Haven't you heard of ALT tags?", asks NTK top tipster Lloyd Wood. "Blind people listen to music too."... http://www.cddb.com collects user-contrbuted database, sells it... at last! a more games-based, yet less funny version of THE ONION: http://www.themushroom.com/mush0105/parappa.html ... good gag about "Moral Fabric": http://www.dressesforken.org/ ... http://www.eskimo.com/~billb/amateur/traffic/traffic1.html >> BABY GEEK MEDIA << may contain strongly-typed language TV>> of course, DIANA'S LEGACY: A 999 SPECIAL (Fri, 10.20pm, BBC1) is a landmine thing, not a surprise non- happy-ending edition of 999... and see why Kevin Mitnick supporters were furious about the script of Michael Mann's pre-Heat'ed LA TAKEDOWN (Fri, 11.40pm, BBC1)... cut my heart out with a spoon, it's a non-Christmas showing for Kevin Costner's overlong Waterworld/Postman tryout, ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES (Sat, 8.05pm, BBC1)... while the line between cutting-edge sci-fi and wish fulfilment blurs once again on C5, in "erotic" "thriller" TERMINAL VIRUS (Sat, 10.50pm, C5)... chronological capers in RUNNING AGAINST TIME (Sun, 12.45am, some ITV, finishes 2.30pm last Wed)... *and* in Groundhog-Day-style time-loop 12:01 (Sun, 5.45pm, C4), remake of a 1990 movie featuring Robocop's Kurtwood Smith... who then reappears a few hours later in Gus Van Sant's TO DIE FOR (Sun, 9.00pm, C4), as does Matt Dillon, who stars with Bill Burroughs in DRUGSTORE COWBOY (Sun, 11.00pm, C4)... similar "concidences" beset BBC Wednesday, with Chris Packham's cryptozoologigal THE X CREATURES (Wed, 7.00pm, BBC1), MYSTERIES WITH CAROL VORDERMAN (Wed, 8.00pm, BBC1), and QED (Wed, 9.30pm, BBC1) going out with a bang by solving spontaneous human combustion... but C4 fights back via unofficial "silly women getting into scrapes" night, featuring CAROLINE IN THE CITY (Wed, 6.00pm, C4), SUDDENLY SUSAN (Wed, 6.25pm, C4), ALLY MCBEAL (Wed, 10.00pm, C4), and DIANA: THE WRONG CRUSADE? (Wed, 9.00pm, C4)... FILM>> if you've ever wondered what the TV show would look like with the budget (and set designs) from the Alien films, that's the only real explanation for enduring X FILES: FIGHT THE FUTURE (imdb: sci-Fi / thriller / mystery / action / drama / virus / heroine / agent / twist- in-the-end / based-on-tv-series / conspiracy / fbi / famous-theme / blockbuster / aliens / cult-favorites / paranormal / hero / drunk / caveman / government / dormant- creature / cover-up / bomb / paranoia / desert / truth / underground / fate-of-the-world). Otherwise you've seen it all before: Scully contracts a mysterious disease, and both Mulder and the conspiracy seem woefully incompetent, Mulder not even having read any black helicopter FAQs... elsewhere it's like a competition to have the most obscure release schedule of all time (THE LIFE OF STUFF? METROLAND? LE BOSSU?), so we say stay home and rent GOOD WILL HUNTING - for belligerent underachieving child geniuses everywhere... MAGS>> Amiga fans are holding their breath for new machines, but EMAP'S CU AMIGA has gasped its last: http://www.cu-amiga.co.uk (or maybe they just ran out of copyright material to stick on the coverdisc)... in accordance with prophecy [see NTK 10/04/98], Future's first "real" FRONTIERS (due 04/09/98) will cost just 1UKP... further info continues to leak about Future's "adult lifestyle" games mag, now to be called ARCADIA, and edited by returning flamboyant baseball-cap flaunter, Neil West... something of a month for unfortunate headgear, with Dave "not the famous one" Perry continuing to tout his upcoming PSX mag STATION (due 04/09/98, with Tomb Raider 3 demo), while Rapide's existing TOTAL PLAYSTATION takes advantage of OFFICIAL PLAYSTATION's all Tekken-3 disc with its own playable covermount round-up. NTK always suspected you could get OPM-style sales with an exclusive demo disc and a mag that simply consisted of the word "arse" printed over and over again - this could be our chance to find out... our favourite tip: THE GROCER (every week, still only 95p), and not just for recent readers' letters querying those ads for Werther's Original Butter Candies: "Placing myself at the same age as the grandfather figure, this would make him a young child in the early 1940s. Anyone who lived then would surely know that... anyone caught selling or buying German confectionery would not have been very popular" - but also for the year's first Christmas preview, including attempts by Walls to "deseasonalise ice-cream eating" with their Honey Nougat Magnum... and finally, a quick browse through the racks at our local TOWER RECORDS: there's a pre X-day STARK FIRST OF REMOVAL (UKP 2.79); top Japanese titles GET NAVI and GOODS PRESS (no idea of the content - like we say, just top titles); plus the truly remarkable US import PERFECT 10 - which, unlike those men's mags that have semi-topless women on the front and endless pics of gadgets inside, is *exactly the other way around*... >> SMALL PRINT << Need To Know is (usually) a useful, interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. It is registered at the Post Office as "NTKnow's surly redneck cousin". NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Excuses - http://www.spesh.com/ntk/ Unsubscribe? Mail majordomo@unfortu.net with 'unsubscribe ntknow'. Subscribe? Mail majordomo@unfortu.net with 'subscribe ntknow'. NTK now is helped by VIRGIN NET, THE ILLUMINATI and UNFORTU.NET. They worry about us, but we don't worry about them. (K) 1998 Special Projects. Non-business copying is fine, but retain SMALL PRINT. Contact terry@spesh.com for commercial licence details. Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com.