Need To Know 1999-03-05

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"It was a lark. We're a software company. This is our first foray into hardware." - Colin Smith, inventor of the iVase (http://www.wired.com/news/news/technology/story/18190.html) ...and not - phew - Larry Ellison on the "network computer" *** SPECIAL "LINUXWORLD" EDITION - NO LINUX NEWS WHATSOEVER *** >> HARD NEWS << mission to confuse Quantum cryptography may be the hot new encryption topic, but for real examples of spin, charm, and downright strangeness, check out the UK state's ongoing crypto collapse. This week Ian Taylor, the man behind the Tories' attempt to enforce mandatory surrender of private crypto keys, appeared to be in two different positions at once, claiming that he'd "changed his mind" about the old policy, and now didn't want it at all. In the alternate universe of Whitehall, radioactive sources say Tony Blair countermanded Jack "having a few problems with the 'colour force' myself" Straw, and has stated that key seizure is to be a last resort: "Key escrow is not the answer", he said. Instead, the Cabinet seems to want a "Manhattan"-style thinktank - of the wisest minds that Microsoft, BT, ICL and other *famously* clever dinosaurs can muster - to invent an alternative to key escrow that will "satisfy the requirements of law enforcement". A challenge indeed, given that no-one in law enforcement has ever explicitly stated what it is they want (apart from "your private keys, please"). Oh, and to ensure a really great technical solution, the group has only three weeks to formulate their alternative (by April Fool's Day, natch), else it's back to escrow again. Meanwhile, that infamous, infinitely delayed DTI consultation document came out midday today: *very* defensive and "welcoming suggestions" about the whole business. So it's all gone a bit Heisenberg: you can see how fast things are moving in government - but observers still have no idea where they're at. http://www.fipr.org/press.html - reader's voice: didn't you do a physics analogy 2 weeks ago? http://www.dti.gov.uk/CII/elec/elec_com.html - shut up, we explain http://mediafilter.org/CAQ/caq63/caq63madsen.html - not quite the "alternative solution" we're hoping for ITV's plan to replace News At Ten with Bond films has somehow carried over into newsprint, with "Blackmail Hackers Take Over Military Satellite" making the front page of last week's SUNDAY BUSINESS instead of just the listings for GOLDENEYE (8.35pm, Wed, ITV). Reuters retracted*, the Beeb said it was impossible, the Telegraph printed a nice diagram, and the MOD denied that there was anything wrong with the Skynet satellite - "but they would say that, wouldn't they?", eager hackers cried. But then *they* would say that, wouldn't they? "Hackers control military satellites" was of course the US media mis-information used to justify the heavy-handed crackdowns in the '80s... so perhaps it's a coded warning. Or maybe it's just the spirit of August 29 1997 all over again, when one of NTK's dedicated staff ping-flooded any machine with "skynet" in its domain name. Sure, the sysops were angry but, when told it was a precaution against Skynet becoming self-aware and deciding mankind's fate in a microsecond, many seemed to understand. http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_288000/288965.stm - careful: too many of these and it's "Hackers Download... http://www.ntk.net/teleg/ ...DIY Infowar Manual" headlines all over again * reports of the retraction were then later retracted... As connoisseurs of the low-budget cable-TV net show milieu, we're as excited as anyone by the prospect of ".COM", starting on Telewest around end of March - especially when it at last confirms that appearing on these programmes costs you not just time and credibility, but often hard cash as well. Maybe we're reading this wrong, but the email to webmasters leaked to us states: "The cost will be UKP350 inc VAT per site to have [your site] reviewed in Surfers Paradise and UKP29.95 inc VAT to have the URL and a 20 word description placed in the Data Blast at the end of the show". Blimey, those site reviewers are more expensive than we thought... http://www.genuine.mcmail.com/paradise.html - can't even hack it so "other" sites win http://www.ntk.net/itc/ - last rapped Telewest for 18-cert trails on Cartoon Network >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious DEMON MD observes that he employs "tossers" in company-wide e- mail: http://www.ntk.net/demon/ ... PIRATES OF SILICON VALLEY cast includes "Geeky Computer Scientist" (just the one?)... "It's time to stop telling clients that they are clueless. That may be true in Europe, but not here" - Chan Suh, CEO Agency.com (purchaser of Online Magic), Silicon Alley Reporter 02/26... INSTITUTE OF CHARTERED ACCOUNTANTS to introduce e-commerce "kitemark" gif for websites... WHEN ROBOTS RULE at Tate postponed due to "software failure"... "New design is pants" threads disappear from CHANNEL 4 FORUM; complaining there's not enough pics of Dan O'Brien?... INTERPOL still quoting Rimm report: http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/030299/cybercrime.sml ...*fucking* SCARY SPICE pic: http://www.ntk.net/doh/990305.gif ...KELLY? JOHNNY? "Links should be kept as simple as possible"? What TV show is this? http://www.ntk.net/breakfast/ ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful So we're searching for details of Nottingham University Gilbert & Sullivan Society's Space: 1999 version of the Pirates Of Penzance - I mean, what are the chances of there being *two* TV-influenced sci-fi musical extravaganzas debuting in Nottingham next week? But. Still. They. Come! Independently of PIRATES '99 (7.30pm, Tue 1999-03-09, Thu 11, Fri 12, Sat 13 with matinee; Great Hall, Trent Building, nott.ac.uk), page 3 model turned god-bothering pop star Sam Fox helms the yet more implausible VIRUS: THE CYBER MUSICAL, believed to be the first rock show set entirely inside "a NATO defence computer". The characters - "Hard Drive", "Diskette", "Virus" and "Mouse" - haven't been nicked from Reboot at all; the audience takes part via "laser guns around the auditorium"; and the songs (two of which "seem destined for the charts") are by Pink Floyd tribute band "Floydian Slip", who cleverly combine rock, jazz, blues, soul, country, pop and - of course - Pink Floyd to make the evening "a must for any music lover". Adding to the suspense, the official site even hints at last-minute financial crises, so if you make it to either of these please tell us how it went. We're terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought. http://www.virus-productions.co.uk - no URL for Pirates '99; check local listings http://www.netpresence.co.uk/royalcentre/theatreroyal/ - staggeringly, Virus: The Musical opens the same night http://www.marlowe.demon.co.uk/nov981.htm - possibly something in the local water supply http://mudhole.spodnet.uk.com/fist/news.html#tickets - still, not too late for this yet. Flee, my friends, flee! >> TRACKING << look what the mouse dragged in We don't usually trail products we haven't tried, but this one's for Windows NT, and there are some places we just don't go. In a nutshell, then, WAVE TO DISK is the same as that... uh, other OS... sound device driver that lets you grab raw audio from any source (including streamed RealAudio, one of the three games that runs on NT, or - I dunno - one of those hilarious new "secure" music distribution systems). By all means try it out, but do understand that the authors do not condone massive piracy and giggling at last-gasp attempts at protecting intellectual property. Also, if you do download it and it turns out to be a Trojan or HAPPY99.EXE - well, come on, you're using NT. You deserve everything you get. http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Program/3555/ - apart from all that LinuxWorld coverage, which we wouldn't wish on anyone http://www.techweb.com/wire/story/TWB19990129S0014 - Divx cracked too? IS *NOTHING* SACRED TO THESE PEOPLE? >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista not "that" POOH, thank God - http://www.planetx.com/pooh/ ... ERICSSON deny Swedish secret service claims that they can bug GSM phones "even if switched off"... "I *knew* we'd regret that chip-id thing": http://www.zdnet.co.uk/news/1999/8/ns-7186.html ... rogue AMAZON.COM reviews for Family Circus / Daddy's Cap Is On Backwards... "Give me 49.7 days and I will rule the world": http://support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/q216/6/41.asp start worrying when this goes 404: http://www.itulip.com/ ... ZOOM UK buying HAYES UK?... make the REAL AUDIO "voices" go away: http://www.futur.com/edu-info/schizo.stm or end up like: http://www.timecube.com ... "PALMPILOT" a euphemism for? http://www.mtco.com/~goettjp/PornPilot.html ... footy SLASH: http://www.menonthenet.com/stories/html/lesauxcomfortsbeckham.html ...Ben Folds Five meets SHATNER for return of TRANSFORMED MAN! http://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/Music/9903/04/shatner.ben.folds/kirk.mp3 >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> obviously no-one cares 'cos they're watching FRASIER (10pm, Fri, C4), but THE YOUNG ONES (10pm, Fri, BBC2) has skipped the "Sick" episode with Grange Hill/ The Good Life for the penultimate "Time" one with Rik waking up with Jennifer "Helen Mucus" Saunders... and Eastwood fans face a tough choice with cracking WW2 Richard Burton cable car cliffhanger WHERE EAGLES DARE (10.25pm, Fri, BBC1) vs Clint's "comedy drama" PINK CADILLAC (11.10pm, Fri, LWT + some regions) - Meridian get "They Live"!... sadly, BROKEN ARROW (1.05pm, Sat, C4) isn't John Woo's stolen-nuke chaser but a '50s Western - not to be confused with the similarly impotence-themed RUN OF THE ARROW (2.50pm, Sat, BBC2) or BROKEN LANCE (4.05pm, Sun, C4)... probably more Spinal-Tap- style chuckles in HEAVY METAL TOP TEN (9.05pm, Sat, C4) than lame sequel ACE VENTURA: WHEN NATURE CALLS (9.05pm, Sat, ITV) - while Arnie's CONAN THE BARBARIAN (11pm, Sat, ITV) further fuels those teen ubermensch fantasies... after last week's soporific Kama Sutra, C4 reaffirms its commitment to "tedious erotica" with Hugh Grant/ Elle Macpherson nudie SIRENS (10pm, Sun, C4)... Prof Lewis Wolpert defends GM food on HEART OF THE MATTER (11.30pm, Sun, BBC1), then undermines his case somewhat by presenting autobiographical depression docu A LIVING HELL (11.20pm, Wed, BBC2)... new series of the post- movie derivative monster tosh X FILES (9pm, Sun, SkyOne) starts just as the terrestrial one ends (10.10pm, Wed, BBC2)... and PANORAMA (10pm, Mon, BBC1) promises a long, hard look at teen sex - in order to address parental concerns over the return of DAWSON'S CREEK? (6pm, Wed, C4)... don't try selling gold-disc MP3 compilations to the BPI Anti-Piracy Unit profiled on INTERNAL AFFAIRS (7pm, Mon, BBC2)... Wes Craven tries out for Scream in ingeniously self-referential (though less funny) WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE (10pm, Mon, C4)... and when Arnie says "I'll be back" in THE RUNNING MAN (9pm, Tue, C5), who could have guessed he meant "in half-an- hour's time on the other side", via Jim Cameron's typically overlong misogynist Harrier ad TRUE LIES (9.35pm, Tue, BBC1)... C4 always sound a little apologetic about the "written, recorded, and seemed funnier on the day of transmission" 11 O'CLOCK SHOW (11.10pm, Tue, C4) - with largely new presenters, though they're keeping Ali G for continuity with the following "I Wanna Be Black" edition of FUSION (11.45pm, Tue, C4)... mild Helen Hunt nudity enlivens THE WATERDANCE (12.50am, Tue, C4)... confusingly scheduled after RED DWARF VIII (9pm, Thu, BBC2), HORIZON counts the cost of the International Space Station... and let's hope C5 doesn't meet with any nasty "accidents" after STRANGER THAN FICTION (8.30pm, Thu, C5) links the killings of JFK and John Lennon to CIA mind-control - surely including that George Bush was a friend of Reagan-shooter John Hinckley's dad?... FILM>> it's not on anywhere (they've given up new movies for lent or something) but FESTEN (imdb: Danish) is certainly the year's most disturbing Scandanavian family dysfunction catharsis filmed in hand-held keeping with "Dogma" manifesto http://www.dogme95.dk/dogme/the_vow/vow.html (maybe they should do something like that for websites)... anyway, sounds like more fun (marginally) than Jonathan Demme, Oprah Winfrey and Danny Glover's worthily overwhelming superlong box-office flop BELOVED (imdb: based-on-novel / pulitzer-prize-source / slavery) - incomprehensible if you don't know the book, disappointing if you do... plus, as if the prospect of an amorally ultraviolent psuedo-sequel to Wild At Heart weren't bad enough, PERDITA DURANGO (imdb: kidnapping / las-vegas / mafia / religious-fanatics / road / sacrifice / santer’a / satanism / suicide / truck / violence / wild-at-heart / based- on-novel / black-comedy / cannibalism) comes from the director of disabled revolution sci-fi clunker Accion Mutante, and its best bit - naked Rosie Perez being nuzzled by a jaguar - comes and goes in the first 5 mins... FEEBDACK>> considering how sarcastic we are about other people's goofs, we empathise entirely with you gleefully mailing in our dumb oversights - including, in recent weeks, misprints of the NTK subscription details and our own URL... we wouldn't normally disclose the identities of the UK's strong crypto providers lest some future "e-commerce" bill requires their internment in one of Jack Straw's holiday camps, but so many of you helpfully pointed out that PUTTY http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/~sgtatham/putty.html is "even better than TeraTerm" for Windows SSHing [NTK 1999-02- 26] - it doesn't support forwarding though, so it's no good if your satellite uses an X client... DODGER leapt to the defence of the frankly erratic Mark Thomas Comedy Product [ibid]; OK, so http://www.menwithhill.com *is* pretty funny... C M MORRISON queried our claim [NTK 1999-02-12] that some Red Dwarf cast had "too much self-respect to return": where's Clare Grogan and Mark Williams then?... and Infoworld's DYLAN TWENEY checked that we knew that "the" Cringely [ibid] was just "a" Cringely - indeed we did, it's such a lovely story: http://www.infoworld.com/cgi-bin/displayNew.pl?/rcringe/990208rc.htm ... it was Paul *Johnson*, not Paul Foot who nominated RICHARD DAWKINS (or was it Stephen Hawking?) as "The Most Dangerous Man In Britain Today" [NTK 1999-02-05]... and finally, following the refreshing revelations of BREMSTRAHLUNG X JONES [NTK 1999-01-29] that he "masturbates at the slightly geeky one" in Buffy The Vampire Slayer, IAN HARRIS writes to ask "could he check that the TV's on? I suspect that's his reflection". NTK regrets that this correspondence is now closed... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. It is registered at the Post Office as "helping ninfomania.com in their linkto: appeal". NINFOMANIA "LINK TO US" APPEAL UPDATE Target: 10,500 hits on AltaVista 0 TOTALISER 10,500 |.---------------------------------------------------------------------| ^-current total: 7 ...excluding links from NTK: 6 NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Excuses - http://www.spesh.com/ntk/ Unsubscribe? Mail majordomo@lists.ntk.net with 'unsubscribe ntknow'. Subscribe? Mail majordomo@lists.ntk.net with 'subscribe ntknow'. NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntk.net/books (K) 1999 Special Projects. Non-business copying is fine, but retain SMALL PRINT. Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com - cheers.