Need To Know 1999-08-27

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"I can remember one occasion, taking a shower with my wife while high, in which I had an idea on the origins and invalidities of racism in terms of gaussian distribution curves," - CARL SAGAN provides rather more info than we required http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/ap/19990821/us/sagan_marijuana_1.html ....and a whole new meaning to "butt-head astronomer" >> HARD NEWS << micro brews O'Reilly's OPEN SOURCE CONVENTION didn't end with a bombing, which was a surprise - with the leading lights in Perl, Python, Apache, and Sendmail all in the same hotel, sense trigger-fingers in the Redmond silos must have been twitching. Or else - every hacker's nightmare - they'd set upon each other. Extending the invitation to speak to the Emacs/GNU heartland to Bill "vi/Java" Joy didn't seem too politic, for starters. And didn't anyone notice the start of comp.lang.perl.misc's open season on Python programmers? Even kindly Larry Wall shot off a few snipes, and given his State Of The Onion theme ("chemicals") and the tear-gas quantities of real chopped onion he released, you could see it was only a short step to weedkiller and sugar. And adding nitro to the glycerin: who invited Dave Winer? Proprietary Dave set upon the free software like Carlos the Jackal at a World Trade Organisation shin-dig. Open source, he translated for Scriptiny News, was an "open sore", Brian Behlendorf and co. were "dictators", ESR "an asshole", Perl a "hacked-up language", and the "cheezy" Unix boxes in the network room couldn't even do cut and paste properly (until someone showed him how). Man, it was almost as if Tim O'Reilly hired him to distract everyone from each other's throats. Hey, wait a minute... http://conferences.oreilly.com/ - Tom Christiansen gets an award: gnu.misc regulars caught with semtex http://davenet.userland.com/1999/08/22/readerProfiles - "manifestly full of shit" - John Perry Barlow (who should know) http://davenet.userland.com/1995/06/19/thehypertextman - if we had Xanadu you'd realise how out of context all these quotes are Along with all the other cyber-terrorist organisations that peddle their hate-speech on the Net of Fear, we're still fascinated by crusading Sunday Times journalist, JONATHAN UNGOED-THOMAS and his mission to get the hang of fakemailing. He's almost cracked it now, we think, with "laura.jones@angelfire.com", who recently made contact with those anarchist desperadoes The Legal Defence and Monitoring Group. Ms Jones says she is "particularly violently opposed to animal testing and genetically modified food", and "is good with computers." Not quite good enough to go to the LDMG's homepage, though, where she would have learned they disbanded in October of last year. Double-plus, Ungoed - but keep those e-mails coming! http://www.ntk.net/ungoed/ - compare and contrast http://www.sunday-times.co.uk/news/pages/sti/99/08/15/stinwenws01012.html?999 - Ungoed's recent article. Note expertise provided by mi2g http://kumite.com/myths/opinion/thoughts/1999/ - and respect for mi2g held by rest of world. (May 29th) With reports that an outbreak of syphilis in San Francisco was traced to users meeting via a AOL chatroom, it's not the most auspicious week for AOL to launch NETSCAPE ONLINE, a free ISP targetted at "single young men". Still, there's even weirder vibes emanating from other side of the Netscape alliance. Take the invite Silicon Valley residents received this week, advertising a special seminar by by Carol Montgomery-Adams, Vice President of Customer Loyalty at the Sun/Netscape Alliance. Intrigued? Then be sure to RSVP to the reply address: The Church Of Scientology, Palo Alto Mission. Now, we're not ones to slag off the Scientologists (for compelling legal reasons), but it'd be fair to say that the last thing anyone can teach them about is ensuring customer loyalty, no? http://www.ntk.net/dianetscape/ - You've got E-Meter http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/19990824/wr/tech_syphilis_2.html - You've got ... well, it's not mail... >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious TELETEXT radically mutates "Men Are From Mars" movie pitch: http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/19990823/re/film_gibson_2.html - http://www.ntk.net/doh/990827mars.gif ... how do I get my domain to "point to some web pages?" inquires net.veteran DAVID BRAKE, on CIX... SEGA delay UK DREAMCAST launch for 3 weeks - till after creation of dedicated uk.* newsgroup?... http://www.theweekly.co.uk now fortnightly... "If the rest of this mail is in *computer language* [our emphasis], your e-mail program is not capable of reading HTML mail" chirps THE ECONOMIST's "Business This Week" newsletter... record GCSE results - *again* (and only 3 or 4 deaths!)... CD-ROM "loads up GREATXSCAPE onto your computer website", believes http://www.telnetresidential.com/mainhtm/faqs.htm ... for all our eyes only: http://www.colourspace.co.uk/ ... "spam people to get traffic for your YAHOO store, but don't use your Yahoo address to do so" is largely accurate paraphrase of http://store.yahoo.com/vw/tracklink.html ...DAWN FRENCH to voice cartoons featuring - fat women... BBC using GPS for page formatting: http://www.ntk.net/doh/990827gps.gif ... NTL pioneering "spit-second business" (- and first...?) http://www.ntl.com/telecoms/bus-solutions/voice.asp ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Still reeling from the postponement of Boston's GEEK PRIDE FESTIVAL from October to "Spring 2000"? Need *something* to drag you away from TIBERIAN SUN? Fortunately, next Thursday (7pm, 1999-09-02, University College London) sees the inaugural event of the conveniently acronymed SAGE-WISE (The "System Administrators Guild for Wales, Ireland, Scotland and England"), with a talk on how there's more to the job than just "making sure the printer is working and that the boss' daughter can access the Web" (though, in most places, that's a start). Admittedly, it's probably not the BOFH fanclub the world has been waiting for; we just like the phrase "System Administrators Guild" 'cos it sounds like the "Spacing Guild" in Dune... http://www.cs.ucl.ac.uk/external/sage-wise/ - unless they're face-dancers from the filthy Tleilaxu! http://www.spacing-guild.com/ - Dune drinking game (if not a contradiction in terms) http://www.geekpride.org/gp99/ - haven't updated their front page yet. The geeks. http://www.techiesday.org/main/index_m.jsp - "[techies] acknowledge their contribution to our world"? >> TRACKING << making good use of the things that we find Normally we don't feature software we haven't actually tried, but since TOTALLY MAD (Windows CD-ROM, US$70) is a 7-disc archive of 564 complete back issues of Mad Magazine, we feel we *have* been incrementally testing this product, over the course of the last 46 years. "High-quality images of low-quality humor" are promised, letting you view pages with "startling (and disturbing) clarity". http://new.shoptlc.com/product.asp?OID=4140851 - "totally mad" = world's most depressing search term And, sounding like it should be a parody, but isn't: Ayn Rand meets Sim City is the theme of yet-to-be-completed ATLAS SHRUGGED INTERACTIVE - a bold attempt to adapt the famed libertarian tract into videogame form. The inventor's got the rights already; he just needs a few programmers, artists, actors, actresses to help finish the project. Obviously this will be via the rational expression of their individual "will to power" - not the ever-present spectre of encroaching collectivism! http://www.colemancreative.com/atlas/news.html - excitingly, looks just like "Robotron X" >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista David "Angel" Boreanaz as new BATMAN... asking JEEVES: "are you gay?"... "FLIP ME!", as they say in ITV-edited movies: http://www.wonderfullywacky.com/talkingspatula.htm ... STARSHIP TROOPERS - the TV series... http://www.shush.com vs www.shhh.com.org ... "some DIVINE INSIGHTS achieved": http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/cypselus/CVWeb.html (what, only "some"?)... nah, nah, CASSINI - missed us!: http://www.ozemail.com.au/~loomberah/Cassini.htm ... AMAZON PURCHASE CIRCLE for Ireland features handy how-to's: "The Unified Modeling Language User Guide" (no 10), "Design Patterns: Elements of Reusable Object-Oriented Software" (no 7) and - no 1 with a bullet - "The Committee: Political Assassination in Northern Ireland"... SUPERBUGS spreading into wider population... "Over here, son - on me head!": http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Base/2751/draw.htm ... STREETMAP of the future http://visualroute.datametrics.com/ ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> attention observational comedians: JERRY SEINFELD LIVE ON BROADWAY (12am, Fri, BBC2) has "retired" all his old material - why can't you?... catch Michel Gondry's consummate camera trickery with Bjork, Massive Attack and "Lucas With The Lid Off" in MIRRORBALL (1.40am, Fri, C4) - but not that new Chemical Brothers one (or indeed "Music Sounds Better With You"), which he made afterwards... and some spurious anniversary seems to be the excuse for *yet another* WORLD WAR TWO WEEK on C4 (from 7pm, Sat), plus the BBC's backslapping celebration of themselves for employing a DJ who knows a bit about music: JOHN PEEL NIGHT (from 6.20pm, Sun, BBC2)... Bank Holiday Monday perks up with two hacking movies: the still-matchless WARGAMES (11.10am, Mon, BBC1), and the franchise-killing SUPERMAN III (1.35pm, Mon, BBC1)... BBC2 devotes a day to what it loosely describes as "the weather" - including meteors, killer viruses, and THE DAY THE EARTH CAUGHT FIRE (2.05pm, Mon, BBC2)... and C5 *must* be taking the piss with an entire afternoon themed around THE OSMONDS (from 1pm, Mon)... no, the idea of animated celebs having their problems solved doesn't sound at all like US import "Ask Dr Katz", right down to unconscious title-homage "All Aboard The *Cat* Bus" - just one idea that wasn't funny enough to get its own series, currently languishing in THE COMEDY LAB (11pm, Tue-Thu, C4)... and surely when the "real world" docu-soap clips are called REALITY BITES (12am, Tue-Thu, C4) in the Ben Stiller film of the same name, it's *supposed to be ironic*. Oh, never mind... FILM>> yes, we've already said more than enough about SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER AND UNCUT (imdb: sequel / devil / war / visions-of-hell / vulgarity) - see VCD section for technical review. Perhaps *too* big/ long etc, but when you're dealing with history's rudest musical ever, that kind of seems like nitpicking... plus, it's an unashamedly original alternative to Eddie Murphy's epic convict comedy LIFE (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ : "Booze, cussing, more cussing, some brutality, and bloody murder by police. That's the first 56 minutes, anyway. And a couple [of] homosexual suggestions. That's about all I can say about the movie.")... or indeed Drew Barrymore's nerd makeover Wedding Singer re-tread NEVER BEEN KISSED (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ : vulgar maneuvers; adult female in teen boys' locker room ; inhuman cruelty toward a "misfit" girl; posterior exposure - about 40% of each cheek)... FERROUS PARTICLES' DAY OFF - TECHNICAL REMARKS ON CURRENT VCD WAREZ, OBTAINED "FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES ONLY">> as suspected by legions of downloaders, those big patches of colour in SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER AND UNCUT compress very nicely; our version had added advantage of Oriental- looking subtitles that you can attempt to cross-reference with the regularly repeated expletives... constant camera- movement in THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT doesn't fare quite so well, though no motion-sickness was reported, so that's one advantage over the big screen... upcoming neo-Porky's comedy AMERICAN PIE was slightly disappointing: proper aspect ratio and no subtitles, but fuzzy picture, and muffled sound distorting on louder scenes... pick of this bunch: a subtitled EYES WIDE SHUT (1587M over 3CDs) - contrast way better than some VCDs, sound near-perfect apart from barely perceptible hum in (frequent) quiet, contemplative scenes. Appears to be digitally censored US cinema print, comes in professional-looking shrinkwrap with Chinese (?) text on it plus catchy tag-line "After learning of his wife's flirtatious behaviour, Dr William Harford goes on an odyssey of his own"... in an (intended?) nod to the alpha-male of gorilla tribes, the guy at the market called pressing-plant output (like the Eyes Wide Shut copy) "silverbacks" to differentiate from home-recorded CDROMS... conclusion: certainly more reliable than pirate VHSs ("It's your tracking, mate"), not too pricey to buy (usually UKP10 or 2 for UKP15) if you'd rather not pay for download times, and pay no more than UKP35 for a PlayStation adaptor card: http://www.surfers.demon.co.uk/stock.html >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. It is registered at the Post Office as "given Internet Magazine 'some stick' in their time" NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Excuses - http://www.spesh.com/ntk/ Unsubscribe? Mail majordomo@lists.ntk.net with 'unsubscribe ntknow'. Subscribe? Mail majordomo@lists.ntk.net with 'subscribe ntknow'. NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntk.net/books (K) 1999 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com - remember your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Remember: Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.