Need To Know 2000-04-07

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"Some fellow consultants at OgilvyOne at work are involved in a few 'practical memetics' projects at the moment... We have been trying to work out how we can upgrade the idea of a 'brand communication' to make it as resilient as the chain letters that flow around the net." - SALIM FADHLEY, UK-NetMarketing mailing list http://www.chinwag.com/uk-netmarketing/msg00184.shtml ...VERY SICK CORPORATION MICROSOFT WANTS TO GET IN GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS FOR MOST PRODUCT REGISTRATION CARDS SENT >> HARD NEWS << legal dues Now that it has the sword of truth, the shield of fair play, and, most precious of all, the orb of scaredy-Cat ISPs, who will stop the GODFREY vs DEMON judgement from spreading through the land? This week, OUTCAST!, the gay magazine run by Chris "no, the one who took the age of consent law to the Court of Human Rights" Morris, was shut down by ISP NetBenefit, on the merest suspicion that its articles might be defamatory. When the Campaign Against Internet Censorship in Britain ran a story on the Outcast shutdown, its ISP was advised to remove their page too. This time the warning was from LG himself, complaining that the article's title could be construed as libellous to Godfrey himself. Worried yet? But surely, can we not move all our poor and huddled Websites away from nervy British ISPs to America? Not according to LG, who has suggested that he'll sue UK companies that even run the DNS of allegedly libellous sites. To escape the threat of legal action, you'd need to switch domains too. But then, what about those local proxy caches? Could Freeserve be sued, merely for transporting the contents of these offshore sites? This could get interesting. Too interesting. http://www.liberty.org.uk/cacib/ - should be over the sea by now http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=605744927 - the same Pink Paper who used to cry "free speech" against libel writs from Duncan "Echelon" Campbell When the the London Stock Exchange trading computers crashed *just* at the point that the US stock market bubble wobbled, it's tempting to see more than the usual invisible hand manipulating the market. Was it truly incompetence on an unparallelled scale, or could this "accident" have been a deliberate denial of service prevent further instability? Well, given Andersen Consulting's involvement, we're assuming the former. On the other hand, we're still curious about the sudden bounceback in the US markets on Tuesday. Who was behind Goldman and Merill Lynch's purchase of stocks around 1PM? Did the market really pick itself up using the bootstraps of post-lunch bonhomie? Or as New York Post columnist (and Whitewater conspiracist) John Crudelle implies, was it a staged intervention by the Feds into the punch-drunk market's fall? http://www.nypostonline.com/business/2250.htm - (via Robot Wisdom, out of Drudge) http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/business/newsid_703000/703859.stm Hard news, or April Fools? Microsoft guilty - maybe, but then why aren't they *acting* guilty? A Jet Set Willy Academic Conference - yeah, we can see that; but Netscape 6 launched when Mozilla isn't even in beta. Nah. Apache for PDAs - okay, there's already Jim Rees' Palm webserver, after all. But QXL suddenly a "good buy"? Oh, it's all too confusing. And it's not as if this entire industry hasn't been an extended practical joke for the last decade or two... http://www.apacheweek.com/features/apachepda/register-before.gif - this has to be true - the Register says so ... http://www.apacheweek.com/features/apachepda/register-after.gif - or did a few minutes ago... http://www.citi.umich.edu/u/rees/pilot/ - when it's not even news http://www.mozillazine.org/chromezone/component.html?component=17 - jump Netscape out of its AOL skin http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=605185455 - Memory Palaces: Spatial Mnemonics, Virtual Reality, and Why I Never Finished JET SET WILLY >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious http://www.cyrix.com/ liberated by Puerto Madryn!... KRAYS fans of TVGOHOME: http://www.ntk.net/2000/04/07/dohhammer.jpg ... this week's Scandinavian fakesite [CAUTION: STRONG SEXUAL IMAGERY] http://www.math.helsinki.fi/~ville/tekomuna/ ... kids who carry weapons more likely to use illegal drugs, says new study... secrets of running a top e-commerce site: http://www.theregister.co.uk/000406-000018.html ... PC WORLD sees future: http://www.ntk.net/2000/04/07/dohpcworld.gif ... in accordance with NTK prophecy [1999-04-02], DECADENT ACTION call last "phone in sick day"; no-one cares (why not just stick your phone *in some sick* instead?)... overclocking misunderstood http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/stories/1450.html ... PHANTOM MENACE finally released on DVD - in 2007!... in W3C-style analysis, BBC reveals hell is - PHIL COLLINS ttp://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_699000/699929.stm ... CYBER PATROL blocks uk.rec.competitions, Sunsite Europe - also www.need1now.co.uk - phew, that was close... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful It's Official! At last week's GEEK PRIDE in Boston, voters helped us establish ALAN TURING as the "top geek role model" of both fiction and reality, beating off tough competition from Linus Torvalds, Steve Jobs, Eric S Raymond, The Terminator, Hannibal Lecter, Roy Batty from "Blade Runner", and Sandra Bullock's character in "Demolition Man". So, now you know. Next week promises to be an altogether more sober affair, with the Gordon Joly-promoted BBCNC 6TH BIRTHDAY PARTY (a pub, in London, 8pm Thursday 2000-04-13) unfortunately clashing with the opening night of THE ART OF STAR WARS at The Barbican (from 2000-04-13 to 09-03) - which, perhaps disappointingly, just seems to be some an exhibition of the "art" involved in making the films, rather than like that book which re-interprets scenes from the saga in the style of the old masters. http://www.pobox.com/~gjoly/ - again, if you need to ask... http://www.theartofstarwars.co.uk/ - and it's not as if they're the Lego ones or anything >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering So you made the leap from Windoze gaming kiddie to Linux dev god: you live in vim, gcc and cvs, you've got mpg123 getting playlists off MySQL and displaying on an LED readout, you've got so much connectivity between your devices that your room's in danger of becoming spontaneously sentient, and if you really feel the need for some blasting you've got GPL'ed Quake and an ultra-smooth 5-button non-MS mouse. (Or nethack. Or "Pingus") So what to do with that lonely, unloved joystick gathering dust in the corner? With Mordechai T. Abzug's jsd it'll be reborn as the mp3-player/image-viewer/anything-else-you-hack-it-to-do controller-lightning-wand-powerstaff of your technology throne. And being the very model of an Open Source individual, you'll happily send Morty your patches... http://linux.umbc.edu/~mabzug1/jsd.html - or just tell him to ensure the archive's gzipped, 'cos it aint >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista Canana hothousing world-beating COUNTDOWN athletes (rule 5 at): http://www.freelotto.com/Rules.asp ... MSX-BOX revisited: http://www.faq.msxnet.org/kay-nishi.html ... TERENCE MCKENNA attains deeper, more permanent trance-state than ever before ... feeding MR T cgi output through http://www.askjesus.org/ - then back to Mr T!... "Hey nonny nonny nooooo!", part 2: http://www.njlong.ndirect.co.uk/agm_minutes_1999.htm - tone oddly reminiscent of "Thorin starts singing about gold"... DARPA continue getting all their best ideas from sci-fi films: http://www.darpa.mil/baa/baa00-34.htm ... hello CTHULHU! http://www.upl.cs.wisc.edu/~kimuchi/cthulhu.html ... *two* feature length REBOOT movies... Cardassian BARBIE: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/7733/Barbie/CustomBarbie.html >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> OK, for the clarification of everyone who writes in moaning that we didn't plug this week's episode of "Jam" / "Blake's Seven" / "the repeats of Spaced on the Paramount Comedy Channel", NTK TV policy is, wherever possible, to alert you to the first episode of a new series, then allow you to make up your own mind if you want to watch more of them... exceptions are made (or satellite output covered) when we know a show or series to be of unusual quality, as is indeed the case with US import GOOD VS EVIL (formerly G VS E - 9pm, Wed, Sky1), perhaps best described as Buffy The Vampire Slayer in the style of Starsky And Hutch. Almost worth the On-Digital subscription *on its own* - which is handy, because MTV seem to be repeating *yet again* last year's THE TOM GREEN SHOW (10pm, Tue, MTV)... back on terrestrial, it's quirky sci-fi weekend, with a typically entertaining Verhoeven dystopia in TOTAL RECALL (10.15pm, Sat, ITV), space-time wormhole sequel THE PHILADELPHIA EXPERIMENT 2 (12.10am, Sat, BBC1) - featuring a parallel future where the Nazis won WW2, as opposed to, for instance, the Allies having won it, but *in a different way* - plus Roger Corman's recut-from-other-f/x-sequences cheapie BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS (5.50pm, Sun, BBC2)... an ADHD-crazed PANORAMA (10.05pm, Mon, BBC1) imitates the Onion gag "Potential Picasso Prescribed Ritalin"... the trailer-spoiled Mel Gibson thriller RANSOM (9pm, Mon, C5) loses out to Sam Raimi's Sharon Stone designer Western THE QUICK AND THE DEAD (10pm, Mon, C4)... yes, you're kicking yourself that you never got round to registering FILM2000.com (11.15pm, Tue, BBC1)... and the appallingly entitled WHEN LOUIS (THEROUX) MET JIMMY (SAVILLE) (9.30pm, Thu, BBC2) offers perhaps just enough temptation to the continuity announcer who must then introduce cultural fad analysis THAT THING (10.20pm, Thu, BBC2) on the Pokemon "Pocket Monster" phenomenon... FILM>> Julia Roberts continues her one-woman war against traditional feminism in sassy legal thriller ERIN BROCKOVICH (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ : bold display of tattoos; excessive cleavage, breast exposure, and leg exposure; child arrogance against fair parental authority; using sex appeal to get ahead; underwear showing; a great pretend dad for the kids but also a source of immoral sex) - but, hey, it's Steven "Out Of Sight" Soderbergh, and anything he does is fine by the arthouse crowd... a largely unknown actress turns in a moving, highly acclaimed, utterly convincing performance as a young man - but that's enough about Kathy Burke in Harry Enfield's upcoming teen comedy "Kevin And Perry", apparently there's some sort of cross- dressing twist in recent Oscar winner BOYS DON'T CRY as well (imdb: independent-film / murder / rape / sexual-identity / small-town-life / sexual-identity-crisis / small-town / transgender / alcohol / time-lapse-photography / based-on- true-story / transsexual / transvestitism / transsexualism / violence / birthday / intolerance / white-trash / karaoke / love / lesbian) - all together now, *not* based on the Ultrav^H^H^H^H^H "The Cure" song of the same name... great cast, no action in talk-heavy LA actor-wank HURLYBURLY (MPAA: Rated R for constant drug use, pervasive strong language and sexual material) - we say: wait for the one where Garry Shandling plays a talking alien penis - though, promisingly, in this one, Meg Ryan does get pushed out of a car... and, perhaps inevitably, Kathy Burke pops up, with the usual gang of "Final Cut" idiots, in unsurprisingly dire gangster comedy LOVE, HONOUR AND OBEY (imdb comment: "the main reason for this film seems to have been that the cast wanted to play with a load of guns")... CONFECTIONERY CORNER>> being largely an excuse to say: that guy who tried to get in touch with us that time about his "American snack imports" - could you mail us again, this time to tips@spesh.com - as Danny seems to have "eaten" your previous one?... overall, an unusually disappointing month for newsagent / petrol station produce, with the highest profile launch - QUAKER'S "95% (+/-5%) fat free tasty rice and corn snacks" CRISPY SNACK A JACKS (49p for 35g bag, look "near the crispbreads") - largely resembling giant dessicated sugar puffs, sprayed with a range of unappetising flavours: Chocolate (95% fat free), Caramel (97% fat free), and of course Cheddar Cheese (90% fat free) - by far the most palatable of the lot, though almost identical to that WALKERS SUN DOG CHEESY POPCORN we were hooked on back in 1999-04-16... also scoring 1 out of 3: the relaunched "FRY'S SPIRIT" cream liqueur bars (RRP42p - FRY'S of course being merely a front for notorious new-product dabblers CADBURY'S), in "Berry Margarita" (identical to strawberry-centred Black Magic), "Pina Colada" (weird pineapple & coconut) and "Velvet Dream" (pleasantly neutral) - "Don't they have a vaguely suggestive strapline?", reports our faintly amnesic correspondent. "Something like: 'Soft as a penis on your tongue'?"... because we registered miniegg.co.uk 2 years ago and never did anything with it, send us *your* samplings of the wide range on offer: price, number per packet, how many you could consume before feeling ill... sightings also required on the following new products rumoured but not yet confirmed: CADBURY'S WISPABITE (like Wispa but with biscuit bits, due to launch on the same - epic? - scale "as WispaGold in 1996"); non-mentholated strawberry TUNES (to be "aimed at clubbers"); and this year's new crop of summer ice-creams, including WALLS' SOLERO ICE, and a selection of NURISHMENT-flavoured tubs (2.79 for 500ml), based on the crack addict's favourite milky energy drink... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "Lamers vs Kramer" http://204.254.168.34/photos/saturday/820pm/MVC-012F.JPG NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntk.net/books (K) 2000 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.