Need To Know 2000-07-28

archive

"And then people won't buy my records. And how will I pay for my daughter's schooling?" - MADONNA vs Napster in this month's The Face (p4), shortly before buying a UKP10m house in Belgravia (p8) ...ironically, with the money saved on CDs, our children are going private >> HARD NEWS << slipping the noose First, the bad news: RIP got Royal Assent a few hours ago. The good news? It's all futile anyway. As a valued NTK subscriber, we know you value your privacy. We also know you are some sort of international cocaine smuggler (How do we know? Cookies, my friend, cookies). So you won't need us to remind you that you can bypass the twenty million pounds plus worth of surveillance technology that the government is foisting onto the ISP industry with a nifty combo of PGP/GnuGP, an offshore ssh shell account, and maybe a subscription to ZeroKnowledge's Freedom. Of course, if they're really suspicious, the authorities could come and demand the passphrase for all of these from you: but at least you'll know about it then, rather than have to play a guessing game as to whether you're being picked up on the mass surveillance powers provided by the Act. I mean, what was the point? To somehow tweak the ears of people who start hyperventilating the moment "security breaches" are even hinted at to work on moving the Net out of simple plain-text transmission protocols, and onto something a bit more secure and scaleable, like IPv6? Oh. Oh, we get it now. Thanks, Mr Blair! Thank you so fricking much. Mwah. http://www.fipr.org/rip/RIPcountermeasures.htm - a few more ideas And now, the other bad news: NAPSTER ate the judicial bullet, as if you hadn't heard. And, hey, it's futile too! Even if Gnutella and Freenet still don't, ahem, actually work very well, we're sure somebody will have the smart idea to use them as systems to pass around a simple text file of the new, free, Napster server IPs. That should keep things going after Napigator gets shut down, or the RIAA starts cutting out the middle man and shooting its customers direct. And then there's sure to be someone writing a simple search program to iterate through all those servers. Or, dammit, why not just code up a front-end for IRC which is where all of this stuff would have stayed, out of the way of all you damn college kids and in the hands of the slightly-more-obsessive college kids who've been trading for years. http://www.napigator.com/ - sorry, it's all a bit antinews this week http://interactive.wsj.com/public/current/articles/SB964562968421509497.htm - on the other hand, glad they died, proprietary bastards http://www.tapster.com/ - coming out of their shells a little late as usual It's amazing what happens when you breathe; but don't hold your breath too long, or we'll cut off your oxygen, freak. BREATHE, you may remember, was offering a "internet connection for life", free from sub or dial-up costs, for 50UKP. Not if they're "heavy breathers", though: who this week received a mail announcing that they'd been sucking at the rate Breathe pipe just a little to long, and, oh, bye. Any chance of getting the fifty quid back, though? Kinda: you get a fifty quid pay-back if you return to using their standard dial-up lines. Incredibly, Breathe managed to spin this to the proper media as "surfer abuse"."When we said unmetered we didn't mean that people could leave their PCs on seven days a week, 24 hours a day", said their COO. Uh, isn't that the *point* of unmetered connectivity? http://www.zdnet.co.uk/news/2000/29/ns-16920.html - bad breathe, bad puns >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious http://www.rubberburner.com , http://www.supergreg.com , http://www.borntodestroy.com - all fake MAHIR cults registered by viral marketeers... ironic use of famously unpatented GIFs: http://petition.eurolinux.org/signatures.html ... CERBERUS bought by L0pht^H^H^H^H^H@STAKE - l0pht not as l33t as once thought?: http://www.starwarskids.com/arena/r2d2/index.jsp ... EMILY POST http://www.emilypost.com/etiquette.htm suddenly advises calling email "amyl" [nitrate?] half-way through... BIG BROTHER working title was "Slags In New Age Forest Drama"? http://bigbrother.terra.com/gossip/news_tabloid_old.html ... Redhat CFO jumps ship to - *SGI*? Man's a falco-hound... .EXE magazine to close "as of August issue" - unless *you* can save it... JWZ wants to hear from "cute chicks", not "fanboys"... Peter WEIR to direct PATRICK O'BRIAN film: dull historical accuracy ahoy!... whois CONCORDCRASH.COM (sic) ... BOO staff trying to claw back unpaid wages any damn way they can: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=389867138 ... Yup, "Selecting Blendolini Causes CHOCO-BANANA SHAKE HANG": http://support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/Q157/6/68.asp >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Not too much for the much-beleagured "Amiga Nation" to look forward to nowadays, perhaps, with the exception of Finland's top demo-party, THE ASSEMBLY (from 2000-08-03) - and, of course, the (US) Amiga West Coast Show, AMIWEST 2000 (2000-07- 29, Sacramento, California) where, in order to compete with the kinky thrills of DEFCON (happening now, Las Vegas), you can pay good money to watch an Eyetech Next Generation Amiga Development Machine "coupled with a Classic A1200". http://www.assembly.org/ - now features Playstation demos and overclocking compos http://uk.amigasoc.org/news/woa2000start.html - "Don't book your holidays!" advises UK rival, optimistically http://www.dnscon.org/dns2000/ - unless of course you'll be swinging by Blackpool... And finally, this week's short-range Nathan Forecast features one of the more ill-favoured alignments of the year, the "Arena For The Millennial Age Of Global Urban Culture" HEADRUSH (until 2000-07-30, central London). Largely based at the ICA? Check! Attendees include Mute Magazine, Hari Kunzru, Kodwo Eshun, and Normski? Check! Flyer promises, seemingly without irony, "a supra-consciousness of 'Binary Soul' inviting the intellectual, the b-boy, the glamour girl and the PhD on a digital and analogue exploration of our soulful Selves and the 'Futurenow'"? Check, check, CHECK! http://www.mannafest.net/ - oh, and Chuck D. Is "Urban" maybe a euphemism for "Black"? http://yapc.org/Europe/ - even YAPC::Europe now tainted by "the Art of Perl" >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering VAR'AQ is a stack-based, Forth-ish language, with Lispish data structures, and an object-verb-structure grammar designed for use by Klingons. Ah, yes: There's little to say that you haven't already guessed: written in Perl, minimal documentation, Linux-oriented, no *real* working Klingons on the standards committee. There is example code, however, including the usual "What do you want, Universe?" program. The leader of the project, Brian/B'Rian Connors/C'onnarrghs expectorates: "If you are afraid to tread in hostile territory like this, you might want to hold off on playing with var'aq for a while." But then, maybe you are weak, and dishonour us all with your cowardice, toDSaH! http://www.geocities.com/connorbd/varaq/ - calling it loSDIch (Klingon for "Fourth") "would be silly" http://www.geocities.com/connorbd/tarpit/ - but no Klingon could face the terrifyingly real BANCstar >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista moodily tasteful "go towards the light" bereavement e-cards: http://www.british-airways.com/concorde/spirit/ - not quite the "arrive before you take off" that AIR FRANCE had in mind... Soundscapes For Compromising A Remote Host [By]: http://www.musicforhackers.com ... When TVGoHome Fans Go Bad (#1): http://www.planetvom.co.uk/amazon/ ... Here's WALDOES: http://vesuvius.jsc.nasa.gov/er_er/html/robonaut/robonaut.html ... pics of RICHARD STILGOE reveal shadowy influence of SATAN: http://www.boreham.co.uk/surrey2000/Sherrif.htm ... When TVGoHome Fans Go Bad #2 - And The Robots That Trust Them: http://www.uberworld.org/robots.cgi?subject=&person=paean ... http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/~dmb/IHPRS.html - Mad About *Something*... open software's very own MAGINOT LINE: http://www.iloquent.nl/signs/ ... life imitates CRYPTONOMICON: http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/asia-pacific/newsid_849000/849090.stm ... Of/By/For The People: http://www.norvig.com/Gettysburg/ ... http://www.lehmans.com - best viewed with a non-electric web browser... so fake, even THE GUARDIAN saw through it: http://download.theforce.net/theater/episode2/ep2_large.mov ... concluding our CONCORDE coverage: http://www.amigoingdown.com/ ... >> GEEK MEDIA << the less sold-out www.tvgohome.com . yeah. TV>> Tim Berners-Lee grabs the prestigious OU Saturday am technoslot, enquiring WHOSE WEB IS IT ANYWAY? (9.35am, Sat, BBC2)... you can while away the dull bits of MAD MAX 3: BEYOND THUNDERDOME (11.20pm, Sat, ITV) trying to spot the samples used in The Messiah's techno track of the same name... Robbie Williams' flesh-stripping ROCK DJ: UNCUT (1.20am, Sat, C4) now seems to last an entire half-hour... and the walking-on-their- hands amputee robots of '70s eco sci-fi SILENT RUNNING (12.35am, Sat, BBC2) trundle back for their second showing since July 1999... something of a treat for fans of kid- friendly animatronic sci-fi, with back-to-back showings of PROJECT: ALF (5.20pm, Sun, C5) and JURASSIC PARK (7pm, Sun, BBC1)... Gene Hackman auditions for his "Enemy Of The State" role in comparatively thrill-free wiretap-obsessed prequel THE CONVERSATION (11.40pm, Sun, BBC2)... and, even if you don't buy Cameron "Singles" Crowe's extended men's-weepie schtick, there's always the "Spy Who Shagged Me"-inspiring catchphrases of JERRY MAGUIRE (9pm, Sun, C4)... though we can't remember them showing the original "Law And Order" series, Sky still seems oddly keen on its Homicide Life On The Street-alike sex- crimes spin-off SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT (9pm, Mon, Sky1)... presumably celebrating the "stay up as late as you like" start of the school holidays, comes an out-of-nowhere showing of ROBOCOP (12.30am, Mon, ITV) - last shown on ITV this April... and, after appearing in god-awful knock-offs of both "Mad About You", and "The Larry Sanders Show", Tracy-Ann Oberman completes the set with "one-off" (read: uncommissioned pilot) newsroom spoof THE WAY IT IS (11.35pm, Thu, BBC1) - hey, if Hat Trick aren't going to make any more episodes of "Drop The Dead Donkey", why shouldn't someone else?... FILM>> It's "Das Boot" - but on a boat! - as Mark "-y Mark" Wahlberg re-teams with his "Three Kings" pal George Clooney and his "Boogie Nights" sidekick in Wolfgang "Air Force One" Petersen's air-sea-rescue weather-porn THE PERFECT STORM (http://www.capalert.com : graphic scenery of gutting and butchering fish; coldness at a man's death; adult woman in short nightwear; talk of intercourse with aftermath imagery; suggestion of psychic communication; tattoos) - blistering Twister-style CGI f/x eventually triumph over salty Captain Birds-Eye stereotypes and a Disney-alike score from James "Titanic" Horner... Stephen "The Usual Suspects" Baldwin ends fevered speculation on the "Flintstones" fan sites over who'd play "Young Barney Rubble" (before he turned to the dark side and his eyes became tiny black dots) in live-action slapstick stage-setter VIVA ROCK VEGAS (imdb: modern-stone-age-humor / love / prequel / rich-poor / rivalry / romantic-rivalry / based-on-cartoon / casino / flintstones / frame-up)... and never mind life "After Earth", there wasn't any future for 20th Century Fox's in-house animation dept after Don "Dragon's Lair" Bluth's sci-fi toon flop TITAN AE (http://www.cndb.com: "Matt Damon - provides the voice for Cale, a cute guy with a very buff body... we briefly see [on two occasions] his bare butt") - extensively trailed on TV with the incongruous poster quote "Titan AE *is* Star Wars", from otherwise respected US mag Entertainment Weekly. Handily, EW have just ditched all that Time-Warner Pathfinder crap and made all their back issues searchable on-line, meaning you can swiftly establish http://www.ew.com/ew/review/0,1683,1363,00.html that the full quote was in fact "Titan AE is Star Wars - pulped and mashed into flavorless kiddie corn"... CONFECTIONERY THEORY>> no major upheavals at the moment, though reader DERYCK RAWLINGS took the no-prize for first confirmed sighting of CADBURY'S SHUSH (15p), describing his reaction as "disappointed - hardly a Milky Way killer. The fact that you can now get different flavoured Milky Ways (the strawberry ones rule!) just shows that Mr Cadbury has been asleep at the wheel." Del further advises sensation-seeking Bristolians that "new confectionary always shows up at the newsagent around the corner from Redcliff Street, next to the 1 Redcliff Street Building and the CompuServe Call Centre"... so thanks again to our friends at http://www.cybercandy.co.uk/ for enabling us to extensively sample their range of US and Australian exotica - pausing only to note the irony that Cinammon and Wintergreen Altoids (UKP2.35/tin) are actually made in the UK, but not sold here, unless they've been exported to the US then re-imported again... standouts from the Aussie selection were, as ever, the indigenous chocolate bars, despite an alarming enthusiasm for making them out of malted milk powders, as in the surprisingly palatable compressed Ovaltine-tablets OVALTEENIES (45p/packet), and the almost unpleasantly raw-cocoa-effect MILO BAR (UKP1.29)... our top three: the solid-chocolate FREDDO (49p) - with biscuit bits inside!; the Finger-Of-Fudge-meets-Dairy-Crunch titling triumph CHOKITO (UKP1.29) - less novelty, but more substance than the POLLY WAFFLE's "Choc-coated marshmallow filled wafer" (UKP1.10); and, Bar Of The Month, the NESTLE VIOLET CRUMBLE (UKP1.29), a giant-sized Crunchie with smaller air-bubbles and the slogan "It's The Way It Shatters That Matters"... also available from the same source, an international selection of the latest in "extreme candies", from the US's semi-sour WONKA "Feel the *Power*" SHOCK TARTS (78p/pack) to Australia's super- hot WARHEADS (7p each, various flavours), rivalled only by two (unintentionally?) hard-to-swallow down-under variants of LIFE SAVERS, as immortalised in Paul Lukas' superb "Inconspicuous Consumption" book http://www.core77.com/inconspicuous/ : Citrus-Polo-alike "Thirst" flavour ("makes a flavour out of an *abstract condition*... suggests a whole series: Hunger, Restlessness, Drowsiness, Pain, Indifference"), and the perfumed, justly notorious "Musk" - Lukas again: "Initial sensation is extremely sweet... soon gives way to... raw meat" - a flavour which then "repeats" on you for up to several hours, the perfect reminder of the original unpleasantness... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "Want Be the cause of Be certain!" http://www.tranexp.com:2000/InterTran?type=url&from=eng&to=eng&url=http://www.ntk.net NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntk.net/books (K) 2000 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.