Need To Know 2001-03-16

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"One relatively mild step, Friedman explains, is to force you to reboot your computer. Since the fastest reboot is about six minutes, he says, this defense alone creates a serious obstacle for most automated, so-called brute-force hacking tools..." - INSIDE.COM unveils terrifying new military anti-piracy tech ( http://www.inside.com/jcs/Story?article_id=25476 ) ...*six minutes* to reboot your machine? How many DLLs does it install? >> HARD NEWS << who's watching youse Some more facts of British Net life just got "clarified" by the courts. Witness TOTALISE vs Motley Fool and Interactive Investor a case decided this Feb, but only out in the law reports last week. It was here that a court decided that the full details of an anonymous poster (who was slagging off the ISP) should be handed over to the court for a civil libel case. A few matters of interest to the average ISP-slagging NTK reader (especially the anonymous ones: you know who you are). First: the court decided that Motley and II could not protect their sources as newspapers can, because they imposed no editorial control over their forums. So British law now says UK Websites can be sued for libel (because they are publishers) and be compelled to hand over personal details (because they aren't). Nice. Also, this decision should apply to ISPs as well as Websites. So in winning this battle, Totalise will have opened itself and other ISPs to endless fishing by libel litigants attempting to track down whistle-blowers by looking up their dial-up details. Well done. And finally, as UKCRYPTO regular Donald Ramsbottom noted, if the courts have this much power to compel disclosure: why did they ever need RIP in the first place? http://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/0,,12-99112,00.html - whenever anyone asks us why we never pursued that Falco deadpool thing http://www.kaplanindex.com/fsearch/commerce/purchase_form.php - blame the local hostile legal environment After watching Thursday's TONIGHT show on ITV, it's hard not to sympathise with Carol Vorderman's single-handed crusade against poorly labelled chatrooms, a shadowy world where children using yahoo.com, apparently "the second most popular web provider in Britain", are just "three clicks of the computer mouse away" from predatory paedophiles. In fact, it's no longer just Carol on the case, angrily waving her notes and yelling "It's not good enough!" as Roland Perry tried to explain that pesky American obsession with "free speech", and indignantly concluding "So, it's *your* responsibility as a parent to be educated about the net and then constantly check every site your child will visit [...] - not [the Internet industry's] responsibility to censor, but yours." Of course, you never know who you're talking to in online chats - it might even be "brilliant technology journalist" Richard Barry, who's been helping Carol out the past few weeks by posing as a naive 12-year-old girl. Barry may be best known to NTK readers as the guy who, writing a games round-up for The Guardian in 1998, reported without question a week-old April Fool about a Star Wars/ Star Trek crossover - exactly the sort of thing which might indeed be believed by a naive 12-year-old girl. http://www.zdnet.co.uk/news/2001/10/ns-21591.html - now only two clicks away! What are ZDNet trying to tell us? http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?back=archive98/now0410.txt&line=92#l - yeah, we're just jealous of Barry's male-model good looks Meanwhile, the cognitive distance between the free Net and the "free press" stretches further. Following a bit of entrapment by the Harrow Trading Standards crew in June, WHSmith recently got fined six grand for selling a copy of PC Zone with a "grossly violent" KINGPIN demo on it. WHSmith has now, in a characteristically brave stance, demanded that all magazine CD covermounts be ELSPA-rated. No exceptions. Given that ELSPA ratings were originally invented to *prevent* software having to pass obligatory BBFC ratings, this looks like feeping creaturism to us - but whatever we think, they should have some highly weird side-effects. Apart from the terrifying onus now on publishers to actually discover what's on their free CDs (see NTKs passim on the STUART CAMPBELL vs EMAP affair), we look set for some amusing badging of serious tech journals. Mags like PCW and MacUser, for instance, will now be obliged to appear with a "Suitable for Ages 3+" ELSPA label. Always assuming an Office XP demo won't include depictions of "humiliation", "offensive gestures" and "death or injury to human-like or animal-like characters". http://www.tradingstandards.gov.uk/brent&harrow/news5.htm#whsmith - no, no, they dropped the Paperclip http://www.videostandards.org.uk/games.htm - remember: "VIEWING SUITABILITY, NOT ITS PLAYABILITY OR DIFFICULTY" http://members.boardhost.com/ukresistance/msg/19457.html - looks like "Bloody Roar 3" may have dodged the censors, tho >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious no indication of how frequently they ANSWER them, though: http://www.aten-usa.com/support/faq/uc232.htm ... BAFTA-award- winning wireless site generously open-sources authentication scripts: http://supedo.co.uk/sketchaphone/cftags/ ... IC24? "IC Dead People", more like... http://010101.sfmoma.org/ SHOCKWAVE requires "Windows(tm), Pentium 500MHz or higher, 128Mb RAM" - at least they still support Win3.1 on a P500... why FOOT AND MOUTH only affects those Satanic, cloven-hooved animals: http://www.thescotsman.co.uk/index.cfm?id=53657 ... DISCLAIMER so powerful it threatens to disclaim own existence: http://www.ntk.net/2001/03/16/dohcorrect.gif ... jump! JUMP! http://www.ntk.net/2001/03/16/dohgrav.png ... NOOOO! Oh, wait: http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/ap/20010306/ts/un_ambassador_1.html ... "All Your Base Are Belong To" - the CHEADLE LABOUR PARTY: www.cheadlelabour.org.uk/cgi-bin/newspro/viewnews.cgi?newsid984421617,17653, ... "I'm not just an eid number, I'm a customer of MCAFEE UK": http://mcafee.econtactor.co.uk/e50/index.cfm?eid=25740 ... WIRED e-mail addresses now "wiredmag.com" - ahaha... mildly preferable to his BOOKS: http://www.jeffreyarcher.co.uk/ , http://www.jeffreyarcher.org.uk/ ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful We're not sure whether there's any central organisation behind the moderately well-publicised SCIENCE WEEK 2001 (various venues, from today, 2001-03-16) or whether it's just relying on a fashionable "distributed networking approach" and spontaneous outbreaks of objective empirical research breaking out across the country. Or perhaps it's been absorbed into the clearly more ambitious SCIENCE YEAR 2001, exhibiting a long- term perspective absent from previous versions of the Science Week site - http://www.nationalscienceweek.org.uk/ - which, the Google cache reveals, appears to have been built using a 30-day trial version of Claris Home Page. http://www.bbsrc.ac.uk/society/exhibitions/sciweek/ - vs http://www.google.com/search?q=uk+%22science+week%22+2001 http://www.scienceyear.co.uk/forms/pack.html - learn how to crash Netscape with a giant Flash intro! In order "to introduce a younger generation to the high quality artwork and ethos of the original Eagle" - just think, there are kids today who've never even heard of "Doomlord"! - the roving EAGLE EXHIBITION: DAN DARE GOT THERE FIRST comes to Croydon Clocktower every day from now until June (free). Or, for those of you yearning for some rather less utopian visions of the future, consider this advance warning of: Sheffield's digi-arts LOVEBYTES FESTIVAL (from Thu 2001-03-22, Sheffield); the annual UKUUG LINUX DEVELOPERS' CONFERENCE (from 2001-06- 29, UMIST in Manchester); and HIP'97 / CCC '99 follow-up HACKERS AT LARGE - aka HAL 2001 (from 2001-08-10, University of Twente, the Netherlands). Those long summer evenings are going to just fly by... http://members.aol.com/nicholashl/exhib.htm - ah, an AOL members page. Tres retro! http://www.lovebytes.org.uk/2001/ - "Star Wars Fan Films" might be OK, we suppose http://www.ukuug.org/events/linux2001/CFP.shtml - maybe running the kernel in "The Baby's" 2048 bits of RAM http://www.hal2001.org/ - may affect scheduling of NTK's vapourware "GeekCon" >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering Three arenas you don't expect free software to shine at: 1) Java client-server 2) Nice GUI 'n' shit 3) Dangerously complex multi-user interactions, and 4) MP3 ripping and burning. Okay, so we lied about 4) - nonetheless the generically-named WEBCDWRITER/WEBCDCREATOR is definitely a rare treat, even in that domain. The WebCDwriter bit runs as a daemon on a Linux box with a CD writer attached, and allows remote users (using their Java-y browsers) to copy files, stack up MP3s and wavs, and transfer whole ISOs from their own machines to the central CD-burning factory. The java client is particularly impressive (demo available on the site). While you'll still need someone to pull the CD's out of the server box when they're cooked, it seems a great way to run a "voluntary backup" system for offices. http://www.uni-bielefeld.de/~jhaeger/webCDwriter/ - is it us, or is everybody involved in Linux CD-RW called "Jorg"? >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista WENDY GROSSMAN reported "playing banjo" on Paramount Comedy Channel - stay tuned for JACK SCHOFIELD on "Stars in Their Eyes"... RIP protester imitates SUBGENIUS leaflet design: http://www.darwinwars.com/lunatic/scans/rip_nutter_pamphlet.jpg ... life tries to avoid imitating popular DAVID BOWIE song: http://www.123petitions.com/sign.cgi?id=porca_dio@hotmail.com$2 ... "let's just stick in the PRIME DIRECTIVE as well while we're at it": http://www.u-aizu.ac.jp/~vilb/gnup.html ... cuh, STUDENTS: http://www.thepolosofdeath.com/ ... "probably more of us have the neurological talent for MUSIC to begin with" - http://tuxedo.org/~esr/writings/sextips/sexy.html vs http://www.ampcast.com/search/band.php?id=7785 (because we've linked to STALLMAN's "singing" once too many times already)... http://bettybowers.com/ vs http://www.anti-gay.com/closure.htm ... GRANADA pays Nick Rosen UKP100,000 for itv.com - take him to WIPO, you loons!... MPAA now forced to ban certain PRIMES: http://www.utm.edu/research/primes//curios/48565...29443.html ... need bootlegs of OKI corporate song... first DREAMCAST, now: http://www2.cex.co.uk/gaming/cex_feature.asp?ct=1&id=4187 ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> "There's a look at the frightening reality of child prostitution, before Alan Partridge broadcasts live from Manchester" quips the Radio Times of tonight's COMIC RELIEF (from 7pm, Fri, BBC1) - looks like that Ali G transcript was "for real" after all: http://www.ntk.net/2001/02/09/ali.html ... up against the powerful lure of Ant, Dec and numerous dead/ believed dead formats - "The Fast Show", "My Hero", "One Foot In The Grave" and, at 12.15am, the unquiet spirit of "dotcomedy" in OUTRAGEOUS M-PEGS AND J-PEGS - Channel 4 fields Hugh Grant's anaesthetisingly dull "Coma" knock-off EXTREME MEASURES (9pm, Fri, C4)... C5 edges further into self-parody with Rutger Hauer last-shown-Jan-2000 sci-fi CROSSWORLDS (9pm, Fri, C5)... though there are some laughs in John Hurt's gay 90210 cross-cultural chuckle LOVE AND DEATH ON LONG ISLAND (11.35pm, Fri, BBC2)... teaming up to take down the ratings juggernaut that is I LOVE THE EIGHTIES (9.05pm, Sat, BBC2) - this week covering, though not showing, "Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure" - comes: Luc Besson's good-looking space junk THE FIFTH ELEMENT (10pm, Sat, ITV); the original GREMLINS (9pm, Sat, C5) - itself part of C5's "Eighties Weekend"; a repeat of Iain Lee's retro-gaming docu THUMB CANDY (8pm & 1am, Sat, E4); plus the uncut (?) THE EXORCIST (10.30pm, Sat, C4) - still one of the most upsetting horror films of all time... followed by Matthew De "The Idler" Abaitua's promising Brit sci-fi series SF:UK (12.50am, Sat, C4) - music (of course) by Daniel Pemberton... inexplicably, they then skip the hilarious "Exorcist II" in favour of plotless trick-shot pharmacoepia HUMAN TRAFFIC (10pm, Sun, C4) to go straight to THE EXORCIST III (10pm, Mon, C4)... and, finally, science week is duly commemorated with: one-off DOTCOM DIARIES (4.05am, Sun, C4); American "Robot Wars" reverse-import BATTLEBOTS (7.10pm, Mon, BBC2); typically even-handed new series SCIENCE AND THE SWASTIKA (9pm, Mon, C4); plus the even more disturbing PETSWAP (4.10pm, Wed & Fri, ITV) in which "animal-loving children change places with their pets" - which surely constitutes more of an unfair challenge for the pets... FILM>> it's pointless pseudo-historical reconstruction week at the movies, with the always-lethal Rachel Weisz picking off otherwise entertaining Ed Harris sniper duel ENEMY AT THE GATES (http://www.screenit.com : we briefly see [Weisz's] bare butt; [Jude Law] smokes a few times, uses a bit of profanity and has sex with [Weisz] all while having to deal with [Harris's] efforts to find and kill him). "Saving Private Shakespeare In Love", more like... Kevin Costner continues his Kennedy-contemporary-playing craze with preposterous schools- programme-style quote-a-minute THIRTEEN DAYS (imdb: helicopter / mushroom-cloud / statue-of-liberty / cuban-missile-crisis / 1960s / cold-war / diplomacy / intelligence-service / missile / nuclear-weapons / white-house / nuclear-threat) - also perpetuates the "WarGames" myth that "Defcon 1" means all-out war when, in reality, "Defcon 5" does... or, for those of us who have - or haven't - yet memorised the 16 lines of Arnie's dialogue, 6502 assembler and all, there's the DVD-promoting limited release of THE TERMINATOR (http://www.cndb.com : [despite] having a nasty mullet haircut, Linda Hamilton has a most excellent rack [...] you can see her mug and jugs; normally, I only review female nudity but [...] you can definitely see [Schwarzenegger's] massive penis and balls flopping around)... MUSIC TO WATCH LOGS BY>> is it just us, or does anyone else keep mishearing WESTLIFE's current number one as "Uptime Girl... she's been living in her uptime world"? Oh alright then - top of our MP3 hotlist this month is of course the new DAFT PUNK longplayer "Discovery", which truly does sound like ELO's long-awaited Squarepusher tribute album - but in a good way. And, if your filenames have all been scrambled by the likes of http://www.geocities.com/catnaproxy/ , you could always download the theme song of NY tech artists DORKBOTNYC http://www.music.columbia.edu/cmc/dorkbotnyc/ , and play it 10 or 12 times in a row instead... it's been a busy time for pop soundalikes, with U2's Bono - not previously known as an NTK subscriber - acknowledging last year's CRAIG DAVID allegations http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?back=2000/now1222.txt&line=278#l by singing "I'm Walking Away" over the backing for "One" at the Brit awards - though we maintain that, more impressively, you can also do this with the lyrics to "The Bad Touch" by THE BLOODHOUND GANG... reader MARTIN FROST "was struck by the resemblance" between LEANN RIMES' "Can't Fight The Moonlight" (from the Coyote Ugly soundtrack) and AQUA'S "Barbie Girl", and contends that the theme tune to TV's "One Foot in the Grave" is "almost identical" to "Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind?" by the LOVIN' SPOONFUL - the only difference being "the bit where Eric Idle sings the words 'one foot in the grave'"... while repeat offender ADRIAN MOULDER "genuinely believed" that the new song from AT THE DRIVE-IN constituted the return of '90s shouters CARTER USM, and that he'd heard JONATHAN WILKES' "Just Another Day" - lyrics include "You're not alone we're all together / Night and day, sunshine and rain" - as the backing music for a Mars Bar ad "about 20 years ago"... which just leaves the homebrew big-beats of the groovily named SHELDON SOUTHWORTH, who did the "Eminem vs Bob The Builder" and "Weakest Link" tracks, but tragically fell foul of our near-total "All Your Bases" blackout when he tried to draw our attention to his "trance mix" of this once fashionable meme. Fortunately he's now redesigned his site in such a way that you can actually find his previous TV theme remixes http://www.diffusionuk.freeserve.co.uk/tvthemes.htm , including his Fatboy Slim-esque "147 Lockdown" rework of the BBC2 Snooker tune, and a drum and bass "Dad's Army". Please note that NTK remains wildly uninterested in any other "All Your Base" material at this time - please forward this correspondence to http://www.amiallyourbaseornot.com/ , where you might find someone who cares... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "they stole our slogan, now we're ... well, we're a bit stuck, aren't we?" http://roguemoon.manilasites.com/soap NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. 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