Need To Know 2002-02-08

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"...the brand-name purveyors of American food, fashion and entertainment have never had it so good. Hardly a city on the planet is without McDonald's and CNN and Levi's and MTV. American films are omnipresent and in some markets dominant, accounting for nearly three quarters of movie admissions in Western Europe. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire is a hit in several Asian countries." "The Ever-Expanding Profit-Maximizing Cultural-Imperialist, Wonderful World of Disney" - WIRED 10.02, pp.72 ... Millionaire comes from the US? Is that your *final answer*, Wired? Or would you like to call a friend? >> HARD NEWS << etat des .coops Cambridge cryptomancer ROSS ANDERSON continues to be citizen-most-likely-to-be-classed-a-munition, as he blows the (and his) lid off a classy new bit of UK legislation. The EXPORT CONTROL BILL 2002, Anderson notes, allows the government to proactively prohibit any "transfer of technology" between British people and dirty foreigners. "Technology" here means intangibles like encryption algorithms, and reverse-engineering techniques. "Transfer" here includes teaching or publishing in peer-reviewed journals. Or speaking loudly to people who might know foreigners. (Oh, and the government can also ban any talk of DSPs, spread spectrum devices, parallel programming and the crazy monkey magic inside 3D graphics cards that have a "three dimensional vector rate of over 3,000,000"). Those who remember when the only way of exporting crypto out of the US was by tattooing it onto your arm will recognise some of these provisions: nice to see us finally catching up. Especially since the US relaxed those embarrassing crypto regulations last year, when it became obvious how flawed they were. Takes time for that sort of common-sense to leak out of any country though. Careless talk and all that. http://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/users/rja14/exportbill.html - shhh! parliament at work Not to be left out, the EU of course has its own answer to the USA's ever-popular Digital Millennium Copyright Act - THE EUROPEAN UNION COPYRIGHT DIRECTIVE. The former-Free-Sklyarov guys (now called "the Campaign for Digital Rights") are currently gathering a fellowship of dissenters to try and toss some of its more extreme sanctions back into Mount Doom, and are holding their first public planning meeting in Cambridge in a couple of weeks' time (Sat 2002-02-23). No confirmed venue so far, but that's because you haven't RSVPd yet (to miniconf@uk.eurorights.org ) so they'll know how many people are coming. Full details will be in next week's issue, so if you're a reverse-engineer, an activist, a librarian, an ISP, or just generally concerned about the dark shroud of copy protection spreading across the once-carefree internet, then it should definitely be a fun day out. http://www.openrevolt.org/ - now comes with its very own DMCA-style "Takedown Clause" Oh, just what the world needs: another unmanageable top level domain. Enter ".coop": ICANN's token nod to the Left and exclusive TLD for the co-operative movement. And one of the first customers for the freshly besuited registrars, the comrades at POPTEL? Why 2600 Magazine, those crazed hackeratchiks and preemptive owners of such classic DNS mindgames as verizonsucks.com, and fuckgeneralmotors.com. Amazingly, it transpires that the co-operative movement isn't too keen to associate themselves with such types, Battle for Seattle or no. Except; wait. Can POPTEL legitimately refuse? The criteria for the new TLD, as listed on the NIC's About page, seems strict - but includes organisations "that are committed to the 'seven cooperative principles'". Which, a quick ruffle through the charmingly Swiss International Coop Alliance website shows, is about as holey as the co-located cheese. According to this, practically anything a bit hippyish and organised via the Net gets through: any open source project, bloody kuro5hin.org, a good bit of USENET, probably us. And almost definitely 2600. First one to get foo.coop wins! http://www.nic.coop/about.asp#whocoop - the real winners: whoever's "escrowing" the registration cash http://www.ica.coop/ica/info/enprinciples.html - so who's the treasurer, kids? >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious UKP44,000 jewellery generously throws in ribbon "free of charge": http://store.europe.yahoo.com/confetti-uk/w44212.html ... BBC NEWS ONLINE fears nightmarish 1984-themed bouncy castle: http://www.ntk.net/2002/02/08/dohbro.png ... getting WIDDY wid' it: http://www.ntk.net/2002/02/08/dohcat.png ... we could try looking down the back of the sofa again, I suppose: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/020203/80/crhyh.html ... will I be forced to repeat myself here?: http://www.poptel.org.uk/scgn/ ... wow - just look how fast this new NVIDIA chip "blits": http://www.ntk.net/2002/02/08/dohnv.gif ... where JESUS JONES "are now": http://www.sxsw.com/music/0festival/bands/ ... http://www.thebrainstrust.co.uk/article.27.2172.html imitates http://www.theonion.com/onion2816/vowels2816.html ... banner adversity: http://www.ntk.net/2002/02/08/dohorac.png ... why not impress your prestigious clients with a clearly unfinished page design?: http://www.australia.org.uk/home/html/ , http://webdesign.freezone.co.uk/ ... most disturbing "doh" of the year: http://www.ntk.net/2002/02/08/dohinnis.jpg vs http://cgi.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=112537 ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful In a slightly more brutal commemoration of the fact that we're all just mindless automatons driven by genetically predetermined instinct honed by the merciless rigours of natural selection, Tue 2002-02-12 is of course DARWIN DAY, internationally celebrated by "with it" biology teachers dressing up and taking questions as the great man (increasingly regarded to have been at least as influential in his time as Richard Dawkins is today). The occasion seems particularly popular in the US where, we understand, Darwin's theories are now regarded with merely suspicion, not fear, though you can't help wonder what kind of message they're sending with events like the "Darwin look-alike contest" (Ennis High School, Texas), and the University of Louisiana's showing of the notoriously Lamarckian David Duchovny comedy "Evolution". http://www.darwinday.org/events/calendar.html - guest of honour: the dolphin from Seaquest DSV http://www.potato.org.uk/include.asp?sec=76&con=76 - a heart, stuffed with chips? is this a health warning? http://www.newstatesman.co.uk/nma2002about.htm - oh god, awards season again: http://gbloggies.blogspot.com/ http://www.cucs.ucam.org/ - on Wed: that talk he did at Strange Attractor that time >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering MIRC, Britain's most popular software export (yes that is a made up fact - but sounds likely, doesn't it?) hit the big 6.0 this week. Unfortunately, it's one of those slightly dull integer version upgrades involving an invisible rewrite of the Windows IRC client to remove krufty 16 bit code, some epic struggles with fairly pressing bugs, and heavy code mincing to include multi-server sessions. For users, perhaps a disappointing end to the long wait. Still, worth getting if only for its reassuring Class of '95 interface, and to prevent the 1337 taking advantage of the <v5.9 exploits that even the freaking BBC know about. http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1801000/1801015.stm - "People who like to talk on the internet" http://www.mirc.co.uk/ - *** You were kicked by CrackMonkey (No mIRC users allowed) http://www.trillian.cc/ - but you have no "emotisounds", old man! http://www.bitchx.com/ - "while I am a BitchX user, and look down on them both" >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ newspapers exploring new online/offline content paradigms: http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/ ... the force is strong in ENRON: http://www.startribune.com/stories/804/1402822.html ... yeah, right - like we don't all have a drawer full of these: http://rs.snoochdesigns.com/rejection.jpg ... looking forward to the inevitable http://www.b3ta.com/ animation already: http://www.datagenics.com/n/html/shutup.htm ... look-likey of the week: it's Johnny Vaughan crossed with Stelios Easyjet!: http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_1800000/1800098.stm ... top-posting perverts make sick bid for respectability: http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-bambenek-posting-guidelines-00.txt ... must be a bit dull playing it on a flat surface, surely?: http://www.btinternet.com/~peter.clements/sentinel/chess.htm ... .asp programmers flaunt sophisticated sense of humour: http://www.teamfishcake.co.uk/royle/ ... "What kind of woman doesn't get wet when she sees a good-looking man [...] typing software code at light-speed with 10 different windows open, including the debugger?", ponders white separatists' guide to dating: http://www.vanguardnewsnetwork.com/index192.htm ... say it with DESPAIR: http://www.despair.com/bittersweets.html - or live crustaceans: http://www.lobsteranywhere.com/ ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> the aptly named Jim Hacker attempts "to have privacy safeguards implemented for the new national computer database" in a still-topical 1980 episode of YES, MINISTER (8.30pm, Sat, BBC2)... we found ourselves rooting for the NSA geeks in flashy Will Smith technoparanoia chase flick ENEMY OF THE STATE (9.15pm, Sat, BBC1)... and if that guy off POP IDOL LIVE FINAL (7.10pm, Sat, ITV) doesn't stammer when he sings, why doesn't he just sing everything he says, like he was in a musical or something?... disaster docu ACCIDENTS IN SPACE (11pm, Sun, BBC2) probably isn't intended to refer to insufficiently advanced Arthur C Clarke adaptation TRAPPED IN SPACE (11.50pm, Sun, BBC1), nor comic-book Bruce Willis stunt- casting space-opera THE FIFTH ELEMENT (10pm, Sun, C4)... the uncredited Jon Lovitz is the funniest thing in Sandler/ Barrymore nostalgia-bash THE WEDDING SINGER (8.30pm, Mon, BBC1)... the start of half-term coincides with two new digital kids' channels, CBBC (formerly UK Play) and CBEEBIES (formerly BBC Choice), plus - presumably unintentionally - the postponed DOUBLE LIFE OF JONATHAN KING (10pm, Mon, C4)... while Graham Hancock continues probing the FLOODED KINGDOMS OF THE ICE AGE (9pm, Mon, C4) - can't wait for his show about the Face on Mars: http://www.planetarymysteries.com/egypt/sphinxmars.html ... Tue sees a two-way head-to-head trenchcoat shootout between Schwarzenegger classic THE TERMINATOR (10.30pm, Tue, ITV) and DiCaprio's THE BASKETBALL DIARIES (12.05am, Tue, C4), followed by HG Wells short story fantasy THE MAN WHO COULD WORK MIRACLES (2am, Tue, C4)... ok, we'll shut up about the Tarantino cameo monologue in SLEEP WITH ME (3.20am, Wed, C4) ... then it's ratings gimmick night on Wed, as HORIZON (9pm, Thu, BBC2) looks at parallel universes, TROUBLE AT THE TOP (9.50pm, Thu, BBC2) blames management shortcomings for the downfall of "Rock Profiles" favourites Bucks Fizz, yet BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: THE MUSICAL (8pm, Thu, Sky1) turns out to be better than you'd ever dared hope for... FILM>> "he scares, because he cares" - but that's enough about Johnny Depp/ Heather Graham cor-blimey Victorian Silence-Of- The-Lambs Alan-Moore-adaptation Jack-the-Ripper-romp FROM HELL (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/fromhell.htm : knife murders, repeatedly)... because Pixar CGI-fest MONSTERS INC doesn't just reflect the new "Trekkian Idealism" in kids' entertainment - http://www.hollywoodjesus.com/monster_inc.htm - it's also packed full of pixel-perfect details like the kid not having a speaking part, a genius closing shot, and there's even a couple of references to other movies every now and again ( http://uk.imdb.com/Trivia?0198781: the last half of Chuck Jones' 1952 classic Feed the Kitty (1952 short) cartoon is included scene-for-scene when Sulley thinks that Boo has been thrown in the trash compactor; this is the fourth movie to feature both John Goodman and Steve Buscemi and is the first of the four not to be directed and produced by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen)... CONFECTIONERY THEORY>> when we saw him in a pub this week, comedian MILTON JONES was philosophical about the new REVELS ad http://media.guardian.co.uk/creative/0,9706,468517,00.html - loads of people wrote to The Guardian saying he'd being doing the "Russian roulette" idea for years, though obviously Mars have ditched the life-threatening peanut allergy aspect ... sorry, LAURA JAMES, but Pfizer have "no immediate plans" for a UK launch of the breath-freshening LISTERINE POCKETPAKS (US$1.49) which you say you enjoyed at last year's CES, and evocatively describe as "little strips of green cellophane- type material", which "dissolved on the tongue into a strong, minty haze": http://www.prodhelp.com/oral_care17.shtml ... you'll have to make do with the unsettling oral experience of NESTLE'S "MONSTERS INC" MIKE'S BURSTING EYES (32p/packet) - "Eyeball Shaped Gums With A Liquid Centre" - though we thought they'd benefit from a Fruit-Pastille-style sour-sugar frosting ... over in savouries, BURGER KING are taking advantage of McDONALD'S new-product lull with their bizarre yet pleasant CHICKEN KORMA WRAP (from UKP2.49), BK JALFREZI DOUBLE (from 2.49), and ONION BHAJI RINGS (99p) - "made with real Indian spices", apparently, which certainly assuages our doubts about their being just ordinary BK products with a different sauce on them. BIRDS EYE hope to save their "ailing" ENJOY! frozen meals http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02001-02-09&l=270#l with 3 new varieties: "Sweet Chilli Chicken with Szechwan Noodles", "Tandoori Chicken Biryani" and "Vegetable Biryani", while the ongoing ingratiation of PepsiCo-owned WALKERS into the UK snack market continues with Marmite and Cheese-and-Branston- Pickle flavoured crisps, plus Bacon and Cheese-and-Bacon flavoured CORN FOOTBALLS (27p/packet)... as ever, we await your sightings of: SUN-PAT PEANUT BUTTER FLAVOUR MARYLAND COOKIES, FOX'S COOKIE POPPETS, NESTLE LITTLE ROLOS (32p), TWIXELS Twix fingers (99p box of 24), TERRY'S CHOCOLATE ORANGE EGG & SPOON (UKP1.99), the CADBURY'S CREME EGG ICE-CREAM CONE (only in supermarkets, UKP2.49 for pack of 4) and, perhaps most intriguingly of all, WRIGLEY'S X-CITE "pearls" of gum (49p) - available in "Rush" and "Delight" mint flavours, the intensity of which can be controlled by how many you put in your mouth at once, and thus appealing to "adventurous 16 to 34 year-olds looking for new experiences". Keep looking, kids. Keep looking... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "Surprisingly Full of WeWe" http://shorterlink.com/?Q30HNH NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/ (K) 2002 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. 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