Need To Know 2002-05-31

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"'To start charging for the live stream is an insult,' wrote Chris Gullick, who said the standard of this year's internet was no better than that of last year's..." news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/entertainment/new_media/newsid_2010000/2010455.stm - internet, as a whole, "could do better". See me. >> HARD NEWS << calling all 802s Help! NTK's overly-previewed fifth birthday present, the NTK/MUTE EXTREME COMPUTING FESTIVAL OF INAPPROPRIATE TECHNOLOGY slouches toward the THE CAMDEN CENTRE (near Kings Cross station) to be born next weekend - but we need, as ever, some expert assistance. We'd love to feed hungry attendees and stallowners 2Mbp/s of delicious 802.11'd bandwidth (rather than stale ISDN fare) for the duration of the festival. But to do so would currently involve breaking the laws of physics - our nearest CONSUME node is only a few hundred yards away, but it's line-of-brick-buildings, rather than line-of-sight, so that's out. Unless - you can help. If you have broadband connection, can see the Camden Centre from your window, and wouldn't mind sharing for the weekend, we'd like to speak to you. Or do you know any - or perhaps are a - London student based in HUGHES PARRY HALL, CARTWRIGHT GARDENS? High up? Who wouldn't mind helping us relay a signal between two 802.11 stations? Or maybe you have some kind of portable aerial tower in your garage? And, hey, while we're at it, anyone like to help us set up this *insane* WiFi craziness? If it works, it promises to be one of the unlikelier (and therefore most impressive) hacks at the con - and given the current roster, that's saying something. http://www.streetmap.co.uk/newmap.srf?x=530020&y=182703 - video projectors, Sega Saturn multitaps also appreciated http://www.consume.net/nodedb.php - postcode is WC1H 9BT http://www.xcom2002.com/ - although the circuit-bending guy may yet clinch it But this weekend celebrates a very special anniversary for Britain's most beloved institution. Yes, according to our uptimes, gate.demon.co.uk started taking incoming calls on June 2nd 1992 - beginning the first decade of personal UK internet access. That said, we may be wrong, as there aren't any logs that go that far back. As though helping to cap that decade of freedom, the EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT have decreed that such poor record-keeping will no longer be a problem. From now on, governments can force ISPs to keep permanent logs of your Web movements, and record your mobile phone cell position every minute. In return: all spam will be opt-in. Oh, hoorah. Let's see which gets implemented in national legislation first, shall we? http://www.guardian.co.uk/internetnews/story/0,7369,725204,00.html - sold out for a mess of spammage The transformation of librarians as underpaid drudges - preserving the infosphere while straightfacedly answering the sniggering requests of impertinent schoolboys - into the heroes of the digital age is near complete. But there's disturbing evidence this week that even ALEXA, home of the most heroic librarian of them all, BREWSTER KAHLE, is not above nodding. For a few days this week, Alexa's Amazonian Web ranking system became bizarrely disorganised. Those wanting to find out more on #1 site yahoo.com discovered it was really called "Bonnie-Jill Laflin" - described by Alexa as a "a punk rock band from Northeastern Ohio". Geocities became "Mashkoki", a site devoted to "circusanimatie en paranormale dingen". And Netscape's precious Netcenter is itself paranormale dingened into an "additional component of the Communicator suite". Discarding the more outlandish explanations - such as Alexa's software not coping with virtual domains sharing the same IP address - we're left with only one clue. Bonnie-Jill Laflin is *not* in fact a punk band, but NBA cheerleader of the year 1993-1994. Have those schoolboys been messing around with the master librarian's cardfile index again? http://www.ntk.net/2002/05/31/dohyahoo.png - oh very funny, boy http://www.bonnie-jill.com/bio.html - popular girl http://www.ntk.net/2002/05/31/dohgeo.png - hey, do you think the internet archive will preserve this? http://www.ntk.net/2002/05/31/dohns.png - and it's not like anyone ever used Composer >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/entertainment/film/newsid_2012000/2012272.stm - perhaps goes some way to explaining "120 Days Of Hogwarts": http://www.ntk.net/2002/05/31/dohsod.gif ... still, Potter's been through a lot: http://www.ntk.net/2002/05/31/dohnam.gif ... puerile inadvertent GOOGLE search results of the week: http://www.google.com/search?q=dylsexia , "accuntability", "pubic services" and - of course! - that classic <HEAD> tag http://www.google.com/search?q=type_Document_Title_here ... share the trauma: http://www.ntk.net/2002/05/31/dohcar.gif ... in other auto news - Price Of New Cars Continues To Fall: http://www.ananova.com/business/story/sm_579387.html (May 1st) - yet 1 day later: Survey Says New Car Prices Are Rising: http://www.ananova.com/business/story/sm_580034.html (May 2nd) ... "Stonehenge" of the week - win a 15-foot Flat Panel VDU: http://www.packardbell.co.uk/specialevents/survey/intro.asp ... affirmative action - EU seems to prefer certified "gays": http://www.cctec.com/maillists/nanog/current/msg03233.html ... "Can't stop now", explain SUN, despite evidence to contrary: http://see.sun.com/cgi-bin/gx.cgi/mcp?q=STNdcTEqcdpHy ... alternative school sport for the new, earthier Harry Potter: http://www.ntk.net/2002/05/31/dohpoo.gif ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Not much about it on their characteristically decentralised website, but word has it that wireless networkers CONSUME.NET are holding some sort of community progress report on Sun (from 3pm, 2002-06-02, Limehouse Town Hall/Boxing Club, London E14, free tea but bring your own food and drink if you want to picnic - not to be confused with the SPACE HIJACKERS' Pirate Party at the same venue on the previous day). Also in London - sorry - is next week's CYBERSONICA DIGITAL MUSIC FESTIVAL (from Tue June 2002-06-04, the ICA, around UKP55/day), which runs the gamut of modern music all the way from "digital noise and cut-up" to "idiosyncratic electronica". Speaking of which, there are rumours of an "alternative jubilee" street party somewhere in the vicinity of THE FOUNDRY, 84-86 Great Eastern Street, London EC2, featuring the KLF and Chumbawumba, but no- one seems to know when it's on, so we do hope it's not like that fireworks night thing in November 2000 when we just trudged round St James' Park in the rain. http://consume.net/twiki/bin/view/Main/Meetings - vs http://www.twenteenthcentury.com/ http://www.cybersalon.org/cgi-bin/cybersalon/events.cgi?articleid=224 - featuring "DJ Spooky", "Bomb 20" and "Pole" http://www.net-media.co.uk/awards/ - might just be time to get an entry in for this as well http://www.newstatesman.co.uk/nma2002awards.htm - hey we like Mike Butcher, but he's an "Online Community" now? >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering It's not very WikiWiki, as they say, not very wabi-sabi, to announce version 1.0; but that's what the people behind MoinMoin, ze German Python wikiclone has gone and done. In terms of features and future, it's fancy enough for the integer. The standard nitpicks that simpler Wikis labour under have been addressed - version control, user preferences, nested directories, better markup are all there. There's a neato plugin system for in-page macros, wiki-wide actions, and even new parsers. The MoinMoin developer community have mapped out some useful extensions with this already - including a blogging utility, calendar functions, and HTML insertion. There are a few rough edges - the tempting XML-RPC interface is only partially supported, and the access controls and "mail on page change" features are a bit flakey. But then that's what the other integers are for. http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?WabiSabi - wabi-sabi in 1K or more http://moin.sourceforge.net/ - moinmoin means "good morning" in German http://twistedmatrix.com/users/jh.twistd/moin/moin.cgi/MoinMoinEtymology - or does it? >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ BT takes the hint: http://www.ntk.net/2002/05/31/mr_pissed.gif vs http://unklerob1.tripod.com/ ... THE ECONOMIST's Warwick- wannabes imitate "the ghost in 2000AD's Mean Machine Angel": http://www.economist.com/printedition/displaystory.cfm?Story_ID=1143583 ... hey, with an Uzi, getting free food and beverages really isn't a problem: http://www.frontsight.com/1day_smg_course.htm ... kind of like http://www.thespamletters.com/ , but funny: http://www.savannahsays.com/kizombe.htm ... When Audiophiles Attack, pt2 - different brands of CDRs and hard drives "sound different": http://www.johnvestman.com/digital_myth.htm ... mild-mannered ambient genius DJ SHADOW lashes out at HOTMAIL- using fools: http://www.djshadow.com/merch/ ... Christianity unwittingly invites comparisons with cheap conjuring tricks: http://www.pick-me.com/specialeffects/firebible.htm ... imagining usability gurus on the toilet #1 - Donald Norman: http://www.jnd.org/dn.mss/ToiletPaperAlgorithms.html ... what those TEMPEST investigators get up to in their spare time: http://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/~mgk25/iso-paper.html ... misses out "is your HTML source full of astonishingly posh-sounding comments?": http://www.normanberesford.com/commonTest.asp ... targetting that famously lucrative "faceless dolls" market: http://www.shykids.co.uk/shykids.asp ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> "Big Brother" isn't just watched by women and gay men, Channel4 implies, sandwiching the show between V GRAHAM NORTON (10.35pm, Fri, C4) and a new series of WILL AND GRACE (9.30pm, Fri, C4)... before going on to imitate C5's March 2000 "Queen Day" http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02000-03-10&l=197#l with a themed weekend starting WHEN FREDDIE MERCURY MET KENNY EVERETT (9pm, Sat, C4)... your bonus bank holiday movies begin with arguably Steve Martin's funniest film, THE JERK (11.50pm, Fri, BBC1) and original Steve McQueen amorphous monster mash THE BLOB (1.45am, Sat, C4) - loosely remade as the mildly disappointing GHOSTBUSTERS 2 (5pm, Tue, C4)... there's a chance to shout out Harrison Ford's original voiceover in the largely unimproved BLADE RUNNER: THE DIRECTOR'S CUT (9pm, Sun, C5) - featuring unicorn footage from Mia "Ferris Bueller" Sara fantasy LEGEND (4.50pm, Mon, BBC2)... and another showing for tedious laserdisc videogame inspiration FIREFOX (3.10pm, Mon, ITV)... there are more laughs in unintentionally hilarious post-apocalyptic "Mad Max" parody THE POSTMAN (9pm, Tue, C5) http://www.suntimes.com/ebert/ebert_reviews/1997/12/122502.html than the equally interminable STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE (4.10pm, Tue, BBC2)... Patricia Arquette provides a surprisingly coherent second sequel in NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS (10pm, Wed, C5)... while the 90-minute docu THE HUNT FOR BRITAIN'S PAEDOPHILES (9pm, Thu, BBC2) "contains disturbing images", which may come as something of a shock for anyone trying to tune in to jingoistic feel-gooder THE ITALIAN JOB (8.25pm, Thu, BBC1) at around the same time... FILM>> Guy "Memento" Pearce's chronological inconsistencies continue in unnecessary CGI remake travesty THE TIME MACHINE ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/timemachine.htm : massive tattoos; unquestionable images of [Samantha Mumba's] upper anatomy through clothing, repeatedly; brief glimpses of rear anatomy, ostensibly male, repeatedly; at least seven victims of dart impalement; speaking of evolution causing demon-like creatures from man)... a web designer goes 6 weeks without sex - don't they all? - in Michael "Heathers" Lehmann's "master of your domain" crude Seinfeld knock-off 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/40daysand40nights.htm : talks of masturbation, repeatedly; enticing to masturbate and gestures of masturbation plus an episode of sounds and extremity motions of masturbation; clothed erections, repeatedly; rubbing the breast of Mrs. Butterworth on a bottle of Mrs. Butterworth(tm) syrup; a sea of female breasts - vs http://www.cndb.com/movie.html?title=40+Days+and+40+Nights+%282002%29 : "then there is the computer generated dream where he is flying through tits like they were rolling hills or something")... otherwise it's Academy Award winner Cuba Gooding Jr, Nichelle "Lieutenant Uhura" Nichols, Sisqo, and James Coburn - together at last! - in anthropmorphic arctic animal adventure SNOW DOGS ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/snow_dogs.html : Demon - a dog - suggestively raises his eyebrows toward a female dog that flirtatiously bats her eyelashes back at him - we later see that they have puppies together; we see Demon raise his leg and urinate on a tree)... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "more interesting/ less peculiar than Hari Kunzru" http://www.infinitematrix.net/columns/sterling/sterling30.html (and we said NTK *above* "the real Nathan Barley") NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.xcom2002.com/ (K) 2002 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. 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