Need To Know 2002-07-05

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"Twenty-five years ago computers were big and capable only of very simple word processing and basic spreadsheets. By contrast the PC of today allows users to send e-mails and instant messages, browse the internet and even manage the household budget. " http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_2078000/2078510.stm ...accompanying picture shows JON POSTEL sending early messages using VisiCalc >> HARD NEWS << in some stews With LARRY WALL himself committing the reflexive self-sacrilege of rewriting regexps earlier this month, it seems the revolutionary avant-garde of Perl 6 grow more and more distant from the rank and file of the Perl world. It's the heroes of the Parrot bytecode engine, though, who are caught in the middle. Essential to the Perl 6 project, these Stakhanovite workers for Brave New Perl are fondly regarded by the otherwise suspicious old Perl 5ers. Indeed, many of that old guard harbour a shadowy desire to port their beloved krufty Perl 5 unchanged to the exciting new Parrot, and stage a reactionary coup against the upstart sixers. But could such divisions lead to disaster? Parrot internals designer DAN SUGALSKI has been working full-time on the interpreter on Perl Foundation grants, but due to a funding shortfall, he'll be out in the real world by the end of this month. Where's the money? Are the old-style Perl types hesitant to fund more tainted Perl 6 projects? Or could it be that they just forgot to pay their dues? Either way, the Foundation needs $60,000 by the end of the month - or Dan's ex-parrot. http://use.perl.org/~Elian/journal/6101 - is a Python joke disrespectful at this point? http://www.perl-foundation.org/index.cgi?page=donate - you depend on Perl, now it depends on you. make donation http://www.perl.com/pub/a/2002/06/04/apo5.html - [] to be replaced by <[]>? blasphemy! It's unfortunate for the Perl cause that the Google folk are such stinking Python users, especially given the spare cash coming to the "feeling cocky" search engine recently. This week, for instance, one NTK subscriber was billed a very reasonable 78 million dollars for two Google text ad campaigns. While we imagine this covers Sergey's free granola bar service for a while, surely even Google are sure what to do with the three *billion* dollars they charged another adwords customer - for a grand total of 3000 click-throughs, too. Who do they think they are, go.com? http://www.ntk.net/2002/07/05/dohgoo1.png - the "Google Dance" coming a little early this month http://www.ntk.net/2002/07/05/dohgoo2.gif - insert your Worldcom reference for instant satire Still, if you're a bit short on cash yourself, we bet just as high retursn are to be made in the ultra-lucrative, life of Riley job of FIPR PROGRAMME DIRECTOR. Our favourite cyberrights think tank, whisperers of common sense in the ears of politicians and journos since 1998, are now looking for someone to help them shout a bit louder. It'll be a fundraising, daily management sort of job. But frankly how hard can getting money for sexy subjects like medical privacy and government use of public-key cryptography be, for goodness' sake? Money for jam. Recent graduates need not apply, it says, and we think schoolleavers may be out too - but if there's a ambitious management type with a background in policy work and with a particular interest in digital rights in the UK who reads NTK, well, get in touch. We'd like to see what that looks like ourselves, frankly. http://www.fipr.org/vacancy.html - get to meet Ross Anderson, fifth horseman of the Infocalypse! http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/25997.html - you see Caspar, we didn't mention you selling out to Microsoft once >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious getting people to visit LUXEMBOURG - looks like they'll try anything: http://www.ntk.net/2002/07/05/dohlux.gif ... because some of you don't yet appear to be bored of PUERILE GOOGLE MISSPELLINGS: http://www.google.com/search?q=artits , t-shitrs , cumcuber , suctomers , lodnon - and the reassuringly uncommon: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Put+accurate+and+pertinent+information%22 ... CBS exercising "full disclosure" on their alleged insider trading employees: http://www.ntk.net/2002/07/05/dohmartha.gif ... http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=kb;en-us;Q277830 - and what's more, the HTML tags aren't escaped in searches: http://search.support.microsoft.com/search/?Query=xsl+upload ... WINDOWS MEDIA - half the bitrate, double the space saving!: http://www.microsoft.com/windows/windowsmedia/Consumelectronics/everywhere.asp ... YAHOO runs CNET story, yet won't return their calls: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/cn/20020701/tc_cn/940580 ... just for old time's sake - it's yet another case of the missing millions: http://www.ntk.net/2002/07/05/dohfoot.gif ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Just in case we haven't mentioned it enough already, you can get in free to the "Exhibition" part of the UKUUG LINUX DEVELOPERS' CONFERENCE (from 1pm Friday 2002-07-05, all day Saturday, Bristol University Chemistry Department, free) - and the Linux Professional Institute certification exams have now been cancelled (due to "hardware problems") so you no longer have to worry about blundering into one of those by accident. Of course, that's assuming we all survive the annual SubGenius celebration of X-DAY - the apocalyptic arrival of the alien Xists to rupture true believers aboard "your own personal Escape Vessel" while wreaking revenge on "all the Pinks and Con-dupes towards whom you ever felt even the slightest dislike" (scheduled for July 5, "whichever year is the real 1998, it might be THIS one"). For the first time, the occasion is being marked here in the UK by a BOB SAVE THE QUEEN "OR KILL ME" club night (from 10pm, Sat 2002-07-06, ElectroWERKZ, London N1, UKP5), part of a European tour by POPE BLACK which also features musical artistes THE FIGHTING COCKS and a visit to the Avebury monolith, location of the cult ITV kids' drama series, "Children Of The Stones". http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/devivals/5XDay/5X-Day.html - vs http://eurosubs.subnet.dk/news.html http://www.ukuug.org/events/linux2002/exhibition.shtml - least we know where all the Slackware folks are going to be http://www.b3ta.co.uk/flyer2.gif - tonight: somewhere to go after http://www.london2600.org.uk/ http://www.h2k2.net/ - from next Friday: Hackers On Planet Earth, New York, $50 http://www.idler.co.uk/html/frontsection/events.htm - advance warning of Sony's Clerkenwell/PS2 Literary Festival >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering There are times in your life - say, halfway into a drunken graphical joke about human sexual behaviour at your family priest's memorial service, or while looking into the tearful face of a co-worker you've chosen to mercilessly tease on, it transpires, the worst day of her life - when you really wish that you had a personal bug tracking system. You know, for yourself - where people could file bugs in your personality, and you could let them know how far you're progressing. Or better still, just flag them WORKSFORME and continue regardless. In pursuit of this characteristically self-hating wish, take a look at ROUNDUP, a new bare-bones issue-tracker that's gaining some favour. It's like Bugzilla without the six years of training, or RT without that tedious MySQL rubbish. It's just Python 2.1, a BSD-style DB, a cgi-bin script, some command line utilities, and a mail forward. Full admin over the Web or e-mail, not very scaleable but eminently hackable. Just like your life. http://sourceforge.net/projects/roundup/ - always http://fsck.com/projects/rt/ - review http://www.mozilla.org/projects/bugzilla/ - the http://www.benham.net/debbugs/ - alternatives >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ MSALAM (mid-right) - crimes include "sometimes has a light beard or moustache and has worked as a clothing vendor": http://www.rewardsforjustice.net/mostwanted.html ... actually not bad: http://www.btinternet.com/~webofevil/bootleg.htm ... somewhere to let the world know about your (by definition) lame viral campaigns: http://www.chinwag.com/viralmonitor/ ... most ambitious collaborative open-source multimedia project yet: http://freshmeat.net/projects/aardbei/?topic_id=974 ... http://www.trustedcomputing.org/ imitates the "Praetorians" symbol in "The Net" - mouseover the key on the bottom right ... "[PIGGY WEEKENDS] are available for people who would like to be more involved with the pigs either for fun or with more serious intentions. These weekends are designed to cater for guest's particular requirements. We had several guests last year that delighted in helping wash and oil our show pigs": http://www.smallicombe.com/ ... "Everything I Know About National Defence I Learned From Watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer": http://www.csis.org/burke/hd/reports/Buffy012902.pdf ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> following Adam and Joe's exemplary coverage of last weekend's Glastonbury, we don't think they've shown Adam's "director's commentary" version of "The Priory" yet on TAKEOVER TV (10pm, Fri, E4)... competition for the worst TV presenter of all time hots up when Anna from Big Brother 1 meets controversial pop band Rockbitch ANNA IN WONDERLAND (10.30pm, Fri, BBC Choice)... mild Catherine "Being John Malkovich" Keener nudity enlivens indie soap satire THE REAL BLONDE (11.35pm, Fri, BBC2)... and it's the 1998 CGI remake of I MARRIED A MONSTER [FROM OUTER SPACE] (12.40am, Fri, BBC1), not the atmospheric 1958 original... after all those attempts by 2000AD, the "New" Eagle, and "Revolver" magazine, Foundation "Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles" Imaging get their turn at resurrecting DAN DARE: PILOT OF THE FUTURE (8.55am, Sat, C5): http://www.rowsby.com/DanDare.html ... the terror becomes almost unbearable on Sat with Paul "Resident Evil" Anderson's "Oh my god, that's the funky shit" Solaris remake EVENT HORIZON (10.25pm, Sat, BBC1)... followed by home automation nightmare DREAM HOUSE (11.55pm, Sat, BBC1) and preceded by sickening Robin Williams medical feel-gooder PATCH ADAMS (8.15pm, Sat, BBC1) - loosely "based on a true story": http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,274087-2-2~7|8318~reeltruth,00.html ... while ITV weighs in with gimmicky Nastassja Kinski parachute caper TERMINAL VELOCITY (10.30pm, Sat, ITV) and the ever-execrable LAWNMOWER MAN 2: BEYOND CYBERSPACE (12.25am, Sun, ITV)... mild-mannered Moby is the subject of THE SOUTH BANK SHOW (10.50pm, Sun, ITV)... there's a repeat of that sandstorms-and-sex LOOKING FOR KICKS: NAKED IN NEVADA (1.10am, Sun, C4) promotional video for the Burning Man Tourist Board ... and the week's other movie highlights include lamer vs Kramer goof-off UNSTRUNG HEROES (3.40pm, Tue, C5), competent Bond gadget romp THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (8pm, Wed, ITV), plus kung-fu kangaroo curio WARRIORS OF VIRTUE (10.50am, Fri, BBC2) ... TOMORROW'S WORLD ROADSHOW (7pm, Wed, BBC1) uses "Pop Idol" technologies to find themselves a super-bland new presenter... arty cybernetics documentary STORYVILLE: ROBOTS ARE US (9pm, Thu, BBC4) promises to be relatively Kevin Warwick-free... while zany, "dark" US hospital sitcom SCRUBS (11.05pm, Thu, C4) is a show that "can't get no love" from C4 viewers - well, not at 11 o'clock on a Thursday, it won't... FILM>> Spielberg wrecks another otherwise promising "Blade Runner" knockoff with idiotic chase scenes, tiresome missing kid sentiment and a lame retina-scan workaround last seen in "Demolition Man", say our premonitions for MINORITY REPORT ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/minorityreport.htm : sex games/fantasies in a virtual porn shop; explosive startle; "daredevil" risk-taking; God tells us that no man, without holy power, can predict the future)... so if you can, track down limited-release Tony Hawk/ Henry Rollins 1970s extreme sports skateboarding history documentary DOGTOWN AND Z-BOYS ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : Language - Infrequent, strong; Sex/Nudity - Infrequent mild references; Theme or content - Infrequent drug references)... other than that, not that much else on, unless you like the sound of ill-conceived Steve Martin sex and drugs and dentistry "comedies" like NOVOCAINE ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2001/novocaine.html : [Martin] imagines having sex with [Helena Bonham Carter] and [...] we see movement and her bare breasts; [Laura Dern] shows some cleavage)... or anthropomorphic Dreamworks "Old West" semi-musical horse toons like SPIRIT: STALLION OF THE CIMARRON ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/spirit-cimarron.htm : an instance of brief clothing by one and *only* one of the American Indians. The rest were responsibly clothed. Maybe that is the way the true Americans dressed but that does not excuse display of it in and as entertainment)... AD MUSIC FOR SIX PEOPLE>> this month, we have been mainly listening to mashup rap remixes of themes from Commodore 64 games: http://www.mono211.com/content/releases/nmomp2.html , plus PUNK ROCK BABY's compilation of "punk classics in a lullaby style": http://www.punkrockbaby.com/punkrockinner.html - which surely indicates that there's a market somewhere for lullaby-style covers of Commodore 64 game themes, with classic 1980s raps worked into them somehow as well... in other pop news, now that the OASIS album is available through more conventional outlets, reader PAUL TAYLOR has wasted no time in alleging that the "Hindu Times" single "has *exactly* the same riff" as THE STEREOPHONICS' "Same Size Feet" - track 8 on their album, "Word Gets Around", apparently. We have yet to compare BEYONCE KNOWLES' "Work It Out" directly with STOCK AITKEN AND WATERMAN'S "Roadblock", but we don't think anyone will be too surprised by the outcome, while NONEMORENEGATIVE pondered "just what is the chorus bit (you know what I mean) from BALTIMORA's classic 'Tarzan Boy' doing cropping up in the DESTINY'S CHILD track, 'Nasty Girl'? I think we, the slightly older public, should be informed"... thanks to everyone who thoughtfully drew our attention to circulating meme-of-the- month: http://www.commercialbreaksandbeats.co.uk/ (basically a more navigable version of http://www.westwood.u-net.com/ads/ - at last!), though annoyingly it doesn't seem to cover the NTK speciality of ad soundtracks that sound like well-known records, but aren't: that T-Mobile one with Andre Agassi playing lots of funny sports is clearly supposed to be BLUR's "Song 2", for instance. And PAUL BORT claims the Hyundai Sonata has been advertised in the US with a 30-second TV spot "where the flute music in the background is so very close to 'Thick As A Brick' - but not quite close enough, if you're a [Jethro] Tull fan"... still, it was left to ADRIAN FURBY to alert us to Warner Music (Australia)'s site "specifically aimed at Nathans who need to find a hit jingle for their next ad": http://www.songshop.com.au/ , which enables you to search their entire catalogue for songs related to a keyword that represents your notional ad campaign. Furby reports some success with the terms "whore" and "wanker", and that the words "internet" and "Blair" are both intriguingly associated with the Australian folk group "The Bushwhackers". Handily, "Starbucks" does indeed return A's recent hit "(Don't Want Your Job In) Starbucks" - itself a more coherent version of Toby Slater's http://www.tobyslater.com/consumption/ - but we still think there's room for more conceptual classifications: for instance, wouldn't KOSHEEN's "Hungry" be spot-on for a campaign persuading people to go back to eating British beef? "Everything they've handed you / on a silver plate / Are you hungry / for a little more/ of what you had before? (BEEF!) Are you hungry / for a taste of life? (BEEF!)" Hey, what do you mean, "No, not really"?... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "we'll get you yet, b3ta!" http://www.blogjam.com/blogpop/ NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/ (K) 2002 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.