Need To Know 2002-09-27

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"To cut real estate costs, Sun has embarked on its "iWork" programme, under which several employees share the same offices." http://www.silicon.com/a55635 ... as opposed to having one engineer per building, as now >> HARD NEWS << wandering clues To be honest, we could probably have guessed who was behind spoof "concerned parents" site THINKOFTHECHILDREN.CO.UK, shut down this week for allegedly "inciting mob violence". It's a familar M.O.: the heavy-handed satirical sideswipes, the cultivated sense of moral outrage, the studious collecting of email addresses. (No, not us, you idiots. Well, not this time.) Oh, and the fact that he mailed us saying he doesn't want people to think he just set it up as PR for another site that he does. Well, as readers of METAFILTER pointed out, if you don't want people to jump to that conclusion, it might be best to avoid putting a link to it in the source to your popup window. And maybe try using different nameservers in the whois record too? http://www.thinkofthechildren.co.uk/ - of course it always has been "censored" for Netscape users... http://www.metafilter.com/mefi/20293#352334 - ...due to missing thinkofthechildren.co.uk/style.css [ UPDATE: NTK would like to clarify that we do not believe - as may have been implied by other sites - that the takedown of www.thinkofthechildren.co.uk was faked or some sort of PR "stunt". We have no reason to disbelieve their own account of it: http://www.thinkofthechildren.co.uk/metfax.shtml , given some ISPs' enthusiasm for pulling pages nowadays. Plus, we've been asked to point out that the site is "entirely unconnected" with email newsletter THE FRIDAY THING, and is a personal project of one of its editors, hence the similar mailing list and web hosting setups. We still think that individuals hoping to enlist public sympathy in cases like these should be more forthcoming in disclosing potentially relevant info - but hey, memo to self: check AUP before posting from work account. http://www.thinkofthechildren.co.uk/ - back again now. And good luck to 'em! ] Last week's emergency conference motion on the EUCD was bounced on procedural grounds. Apparently it's not a real emergency, because the directive itself has been around for a year, and hey, you've got to October 31st to stop it in its tracks, right? Should have known. "You're barking up the wrong tree if you expect an advanced knowledge of today's networking environment from the LibDems", warned one disloyal party member earlier in the week. He goes on to quote the party's subscription renewal form, which talks of "developments in email" which, it exclusively predicts, are "bound to bring us opportunities for faster communication in future". Fortunately, this heady futurism is tempered with more cautious steps. "We want the Liberal Democrats to be ready to these opportunities when they arrive, so if you have an email address we would like to know what it is... If you don't have email - don't worry. The complete electronic revolution is still some way off!" And accelerating further into the distance every day, it'd appear. http://www.libdems.org.uk/ - oh, and they have a cix.co.uk sub address. jesus. http://uk.eurorights.org/issues/eucd/conf_demos_pr.shtml - still, the fight goes on http://uk.eurorights.org/ - unless it's postponed. watch site for details! >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious not the company you'd expect to have forgotten: http://www.netsol.co.uk ... BASHER i know, but what's that other kid called again? http://www.google.com/search?q=%22escaped+along+with+my+husband%22 ... while we await the first unfortunate Google News ad juxtaposition: http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/27/dohstairs.jpg ... PR screenshot of EARTH AND BEYOND boasts "this game is sucking cuz the lagg is viciouse": http://test.earthandbeyond.ea.com/news/viewer_net7_article.jsp?id=43 ... more sensible than hiding on Tatooine; from the French telephone book: http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/27/dohfrance.png ... http://www.google.com/search?q=incestigate ... "See larger photo" is the new "smaller" http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000056MYN/ ... subtleties of voting still eluding the FASHION WORLD: http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/27/dohvote.png ... and, trying to broaden PUERILE SEARCH REQUESTS just a little further afield: http://search-completed.ebay.com/search/search.dll?query=bowel vs http://www.google.com/search?q=%22irritable+bowl%22 ... meanwhile, the BLUE SCREEN OF PUBLIC DEATH returns to Reuters Building, Times Square, NYC: http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/27/dohreuters.jpg >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Sure, we may not have the likes of THE LULU TECH CIRCUS here in the UK (all weekend, from noon today, Fri 2002-09-27, North Carolina State Fairgrounds, Raleigh NC, $20 admission). Thomas Dolby, Peter Gabriel, and now: Lulu - just what is it with those 20th century popstars reinventing themselves as new media gurus? Undeterred, NTK reader MARK ESPINER - and his brother Tom - have created perhaps the ultimate in sensory deprivation theatre with their pitch-dark audio-only semi-live performance THE WATERY PART OF THE WORLD (9pm, next Fri and Sat 2002-10-04/05; 7pm, Sun 2002-10-06, Battersea Arts Centre, London SW11, UKP4.75) - an hour-long surround-sound odyssey based on stories of the original subwoofer himself, Herman Melville's Moby Dick. http://www.techcircus.com/raleigh2002/ - see the amazing bearded programmer! http://www.bac.org.uk/visitors/main/item.asp?id=200 - apparently features "actors on strings" http://www.stopwar.org.uk/ - on Sun: coalition of sans-serif users march in Hyde Park http://www.swarming.org.uk/recl/reclwhe.htm - in London tonight: reclaim the beach! >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering Sangamon's Principle, as applied to code length, image size, morality and utility this week. Duncan "CODEBUNNY" Martin wrote in response to last issue's "George W. Bush made out of tiny Jesus Christies" ebay auction, and, though he couldn't manage the Bill Clinton made of porn we were after, did provide this giant Jesus Christ made out of tiny George W. Bushes: http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/27/jesus_small.jpg - 8MB version at http://www.ntk.net/2002/09/27/jesus_large.jpg . But, what are we, eskimo fish-givers? No, because Mr Martin also reveals code and overly detailed instructions on how to build your own image mosaic from the libraries of religious, political or meretricious iconography. Unixen only. http://www.codebunny.org/coding/commuter.html - oh, and you need ImageMagick. And pr0n. ... while if you're bored of rendering images, and would like to render text - in the sense of boiling down excessively in order to remove all impurities - can we self-destructively recommend Modesty's NTK DEMORALISER? This purges NTK of everything but the good bits, aka the links, and then, in some ASCII-mediated cultural revolution, allows the great unwashed to add their own comments instead. You know, this is *exactly* the kind of cultural re-appropriation that gives you people a bad name. http://www.phink.net/ntk/ - you still here? http://www.antics.org.uk/ntktel.html - and you can stop that as well >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ now BUMFIGHTS are illegal, make do with bootleg copies of dweebfights http://www.whiterose.net/~maximan/cockygit.mpeg ... or wankerfights http://www.nowwashyourhands.com/projects/video/ipa.asp ... spot the odd-product-out: http://www.ippulse.com/ ... bush out! http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/ ... those bloody benders: http://images.google.com/images?q=bender ... E.T. sells off old kit: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=908708127 ... http://www.nzherald.co.nz/storydisplay.cfm?storyID=2848272 vs http://www.geocities.com/heartland/3450 ... BBC oggs say goodbye to KINGSWOOD WARREN: http://www.kano.org.uk/pics/croaky/ ... cool new way to start e-mails: http://www.google.com/search?q=glacierhi ... BOB FORWARD goes gets untethered ... when will "pigopolists vs stuckists fight for desktop gwana-gwana" articles come with glossary? http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/7/27206.html ... pay per view: http://www.knoxnews.com/kns/local_news/article/0,1406,KNS_347_1438232,00.html >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> time once again for ITV's annual showing of good-natured Jim Carrey lawyer romp LIAR LIAR (9pm, Fri, ITV) - last shown September 22nd, 2001... the BBC has similar problems shaking off Steven Spielberg's truck-chase classic DUEL (11.25pm, Sat, BBC1)... and DRAGON POWER: JACKIE CHAN (11.25pm, Sat, C4) tells the story of the regularly injured comedy-action hero, followed by one of his most endearingly awful efforts, the clearly filmed-in-Vancouver RUMBLE IN THE BRONX (10pm, Sun, C4)... presumably they've hired James Cameron to provide special effects if Peter Snow and Kate Humble can't see anything from the submersibles in THE ABYSS: LIVE (2.55pm, 7pm, 11pm, Sun, BBC1) - hopefully uncovering something as surprising as Julia Ormond psychic eskimo adventure SMILLA'S SENSE OF SNOW (11pm, Sun, BBC2)... while "moral ambiguity" is the unique selling point of new C5 import THE SHIELD (10pm, Sun, C5) - what *will* those cop-show makers think of next?... everyone seems to be raving about another series of THE OFFICE (10pm, Mon, BBC2), but it's hardly I'M ALAN PARTRIDGE (11.20pm, Mon, BBC2)... sources estimate approximately 8 seconds of Kim "Sex In The City" Cattrall nudity in archetypal teen smut PORKY'S (11.05pm, Mon, C4)... the nightmare of narcolepsy is tackled in sensitively titled documentary NAP ATTACK (9pm, Tue, BBC1)... and the deteriorating quality of the sequels is highlighted by a showing of the still-matchless SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (10pm, Tue, C5)... The Money Programme appears to have ditched any mention of boring old "Money" in the title, and just lists snappier episode names like SNACK ATTACK (7.30pm, Wed, BBC2)... as ever, wouldn't it be more interesting to see FAKING IT (9pm, Wed, C4) transform a drag queen into a naval officer?... and whether heavy.com are involved or not, merely the use of the phrase the "inner city intelligentsia" should tip you off that it might be a bit of a Nathan Barley-fest over on HEAVY TV (12.15am, Thu, C4)... FILM>> perhaps not the "Dune"-universe spinoff you'd been hoping for in oestrogen-heavy Sandra Bullock ensemble drama DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD ( http://www.cndb.com/ : This lace panel slips down over Ashley Judd's left breast and you can see [her] nipple. It is poorly lit and rather quick) ... no-one seems to forsee a wide release for Japanese "my transplants can see dead people" philosophical frightener THE EYE ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : Contains sustained moderate horror and brief strobing effect)... and, despite our prior claims that it was released three months ago, Tara Reid gross- fest "National Lampoon's Van Wilder" now appears to be capitalising on the party conference fever currently sweeping the UK, with the equally uninformative Australian title, VAN WILDER: PARTY LIASON ( http://www.cndb.com/ : Apparently, some dog testicle shots were the only thing edited out of the "unrated" [DVD] version of this movie)... DRESS DOWN FRIDAY>> yes, almost implying that we're still working through an enormous backlog of high-quality entries, we're pleased to announce that this month's "Design Your Own Merchandise" winner is ANDY MCFARLAND's slogan "I Spend All Day Bitching About You On IRC Channels You Can't See", originally featured in this column last May. We trust you'll find it worth the wait - Andy receives UKP2.00 from the sale of each shirt via http://www.ntkmart.com/ - where you can also find the new glow-in-the-dark version of the classic "Elite" design, plus amazing never-to-be-repeated offers like the last few "Extreme Computing" and grey "Adminspotting" shirts for as little as US$10 each (approximately 6 of your earth pounds). We are currently reprinting the startlingly popular "404 /shirt/tie not found" design, whose originator CAMILO MESIAS reassuringly reports that he puts his royalties towards "wireless cards" and "work on open source software"... best of the rest this month has to be DUNCAN MARTIN's bumper batch of obscure-tech humour at http://www.cs.nott.ac.uk/~djm/ntk/ , featuring the Ben Franklin paraphrase "Those that can give up general purpose computers for the sake of a little eye candy deserve neither computers nor eye candy", plus "his and hers" pinout diagrams for your dad's favourite microprocessors, the Z80 and 6502. Other entries continue to baffle and amuse in equal measure, including an curious new trend of slogans - DAN MCMAHON'S "w00tilicious", RONAN WAIDE's "You don't have to access my ttys to console me" - perhaps over-optimistically intended for "geek girls", a demographic which currently constitutes a full 3-5% of the store's total turnover... it's been a bit quiet in "Buy One, Subvert The Mass Media, Get One Free" http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/images/ recently, with faxyourmp cyber-activist JAMES CRONIN hinting that Newsnight wouldn't let him wear his "They Stole Our Revolution" design, though he reckons he might have got away with "the more subtle Elite one". No such worries, however, in the rulebook for Eden Studio's BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER ROLEPLAYING GAME http://www.btvsrpg.com/6000.htm wherein, BILL HUMPHRIES notes, the "hacker/technopagan" sample character is wearing some sort of NTK logo, possibly the very "Revolution" shirt which Newsnight had a problem with. A free shirt to the first person to send us a scan; and another one if you happen to be the artist and you're not jeopardising your future RPG-illustrating career by telling us about it... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "valuable" http://www.dotcomscoop.com/media924.html#quittner NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/ (K) 2002 Special Projects. 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