Need To Know 2002-12-06

archive

"Macintosh was always bigger than the product..." - Steve Hayden, copywriter for Apple "1984" ad http://www.wired.com/news/mac/0,2125,56677-2,00.html ...well, as we recall, the OS was usually bigger than the available RAM >> HARD NEWS << hello? Howard Hughes? It's always good to see a thriving new community springing up in Usenet's barren wasteland - especially ones with interests as specific as those of "Richard Craft", "Kevin Steward", "Kyran Goring", "Danny Farrell", "Sean Rogers", "Mike Harding", "Oliver Hammond", "James Goodman", "Cameron Ellis" et al. Take it from us, these guys have a *lot* in common: they all post from a Mailbox Internet account, they all have Hotmail addresses, and the products they just can't help recommending to each other include student info-hub thesite.org, the musical output of Elvis Costello and Afroman, plus the Activision games Wreckless, Rally Fusion and Minority Report. All of which, any idiot with a search engine can see, are clients of new media marketing agency DIGITAL OUTLOOK, who define guerrilla marketing as "participating within a variety of carefully targeted online communities [...] and initiating 'unofficial' discussions about our clients' offering". They've yet to confirm or deny whether these individuals are Digital Outlook employees (or their aliases), and whether they have any kind of code of practice on the use of false identities for promotional purposes. Or maybe the company intranet was down, thus forcing the staff to communicate with each other via alt.internet.providers.uk.free? http://groups.google.com/groups?q=author:richardcraftuk@hotmail.com http://groups.google.com/groups?q=author:kevin_steward@hotmail.com http://groups.google.com/groups?q=author:kyrangoring@hotmail.com http://groups.google.com/groups?q=author:danielfarrell100@hotmail.com http://groups.google.com/groups?q=author:seanrogersuk@hotmail.com http://groups.google.com/groups?q=author:mikehardinguk@hotmail.com http://groups.google.com/groups?q=author:jamesgoodman0@hotmail.com http://groups.google.com/groups?q=author:oliver_hammond@hotmail.com http://groups.google.com/groups?q=author:fileslie@hotmail.com - some 2001 posts resolve to "DIGITAL-OUTLOOK COMMUNICATIONS" http://www.digital-outlook.com/clients.html - original tip from reader "John Smith", as luck would have it You wait all year for the government not to do anything, and then it screws up everything all at once. Well, almost: to be honest, we don't know what's going on in half of the consultations, bills and white papers we've seen flying out of Whitehall in the last few days - but what we don't know scares us. A bill that forbids entertainment performances without a license in any public place, an utterly anodyne review of the use of the Terrorism Act; patent reform; ID cards, and unforgeable photographs showing giant cacodemons operating the puppet strings of Her Majesty's Cabinet. All this activity can't be a good sign, surely? http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/fizgig-tom/law.htm - pub musicians: no good with fonts http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/atoz/terrorists.htm - Lord Carlile says "nothing to see here, move along" http://www.patent.gov.uk/about/consultations/patact/summary.htm - you have until the 21st Febuary to understand this http://swpat.ffii.org/players/uk/index.en.html - this will take rather less time We grow more worried still when we hear the Home Office minister in charge of ID Cards say their sketchy plans "have won backing from most of the people who have given the government their views". Of course, who wouldn't suspect the others must have SOMETHING TO HIDE. This consultation paper, prior to Lord Falconers' mini-gloat, hasn't exactly been trumpeted from the rooftops, but now you've had warning, you've got until the 31st of January to get your word in. Those wishing to hear the counterargument might like to reveal their identities on the floor of PROVING YOUR ENTITLEMENTS, a FIPR special event on ID Cards. Lord Falconer and the HO homies will be there (although he's currently got no way of proving he's *really* Lord Falconer). As will the Privacy International counter-posse. It's at the LSE, 2PM this Wednesday afternoon, 2002-12-11. http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/dob/ecu.htm - with a "summary for young people" that uses the phrase "Get Activated!" http://www.fipr.org/events.html - the only public meeting during the consultation http://www.tardsite.com/ramfiles/badday.ram - Casper Bowden settling in OK at new job? >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious PLAIN ENGLISH award goes to ANADROM "mission statement": http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/goldenbull.html#anadrom - aka output of Dreamweaver extension "Corporate Mumbo Jumbo": http://www.trishb.esmartstudent.com/Dreamweaver2weeks/week%204/week4.htm ... what the? this week's barely-puerile GOOGLE MISSPELLINGS: http://www.google.com/search?&q=-recorded+devilery , "sydney oprah house", "hell hath no furry", and - new thrill! - misspelled GOOGLISMs: http://www.googlism.com/?ism=engalnd ... so who's "working wiser" here then - Docherty, or Telewest?: http://www.ntk.net/2002/12/06/dohdoch.gif ... template journalism: http://www.ntk.net/2002/12/06/dohtemp.gif ... even more efficient if the assignment's *inside* the loop: http://ad.au.doubleclick.net/625690/efficient_code336x280.gif ... why it's still there: http://search.guardian.co.uk/_ ... and this year, why not give her something you can both enjoy?: http://www.ntk.net/2002/12/06/dohbras.gif ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful "We're trying to get wi-fi into the ICA theatre so that anyone with a PDA or a card in their laptop can blog the talk while it's happening, and it will appear on a screen behind me", claimed BILL THOMPSON of his upcoming CYBERSALON CHRISTMAS LECTURE (from 8pm, Mon 2002-12-09, the ICA, London SW1Y, UKP6) - swiftly followed by an email from the organisers asking if we had an Airport "or other 802.11a wireless network hub" they could borrow. Well, one place they could try would be Bristol's EASTON COMMUNITY WIRELESS NETWORK, who are holding their non-denominational Christmas bash at 8pm, Tue 2002-12-10 in The Cube Microplex, Dove Street South (Off Kings Square), Bristol BS2. In the spirit of wireless networking, entrance is free, for an evening of "discussion, talks, demonstrations, music, and beer". By which we hope they don't mean the sort of Powerpoint presentations that apparently take place at Consume meetings sometimes, courtesy of well-meaning individuals extolling the benefits of - what else? - wireless networking! http://www.ica.org.uk/index.cfm?articleid=10701 - and no posting "get a haircut, scruffy!" http://www.cubecinema.com/december/easton.html - c'mon, Consume, you know we're kidding. Aren't we? http://gllug.linux.co.uk/meeting-20021207.html - this Sat: Linux logical volume management, live in London http://dorkbot.org/dorkbotlondon/ - Dave Green's so-called "Christmas Song": SOLD OUT! http://home.clara.net/kithandkids/site/html/latest.html#Comedy%20Night - next Fri: Stew Lee and friends, doing it for the kids >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering STRAW is an RSS reader. It is like all those other RSS aggregators, except it's for GNOME2, its interface is akin to MacOS X's NETNEWSWIRE, the best of the RSS readers, it uses Mark "Dive Into An Early Grave From Overwork" Pilgrim's supertolerant RSS parser - and it's all in Python, so you can at least consider hacking new features onto it. Downsides are that it has more than a handful of library dependencies (always the sign of an enthusiastic Debian developer), a few rough UI edges, no keyboard shortcuts to speak of, and no OPML exporting right now. Butbutbut - it's good enough. And surely there are *some* Linuxen out there who have a vital desire to fill another three hours of their day with even more blog-reading. http://www.nongnu.org/straw/ - yet another fine productivity-killer-app >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ also woolly on exactly which "principles of quantum mechanics" she might be on about: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/2541761.stm ... an "Are you Tony Hawk(s)?" book and TV show in the offing?: http://www.tony-hawks.com/skateboarding/default.ihtml?pid=71&step=4 ... more celeb confusion: http://www.glennhoddle.com/ ... life: www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/special_packages/gift_guide/4502186.htm imitates: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1841157309/ ... terrifying glimpse into the subconscious of POPBITCH posters everywhere: http://makeashorterlink.com/?N2F235FA2 ... puerile Whitehouse press releases - "Is it because I's a...": http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2002/01/20020123-9.html ... claiming "diplomatic immunity" from usual bloody popups?: http://www.geocities.com/pakembassyoman/ambassdormessage.htm ... file under "fun DIY/electronics projects to try over the Christmas holidays": http://n5m4.org/index.shtml?118+575+2494 , http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/2539949.stm , and all the fun of the fair: http://www.abnet.or.jp/knt/kingyo/topE/furetopE.htm ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> Rachel finally has a baby in FRIENDS (9pm, Fri, C4)... Oysmyso, Cartel Communique and other b3ta cut-up favourites sell out to new Sara Cox music show BORN SLOPPY (11.05pm, Fri; 11.40pm, Wed C4)... and, assuming no terrorists set off any nukes or anything, there's yet another showing of TRUE LIES (9pm, Fri, ITV) - last scheduled by ITV this September, and by the BBC back in May... the more "human" the Robin Williams robot gets, the more unbearable Asimov-adaptation BICENTENNIAL MAN becomes (5.30pm, Sat, BBC1)... a simple train-missing incident sees Gwyneth Paltrow transformed from a 19th century matchmaker in EMMA (8pm, Sat, C4) to a PR woman battling parallel-reality romances in SLIDING DOORS (10.20pm, Sat, BBC1)... and Will Smith: A Celebration expands from now thrice-weekly showings of THE FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR (6.20pm, Mon, Thu & Fri, BBC2) to take in Heather Graham conman comedy SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION (12.15am, Sat, BBC2) and Tea Leoni buddy cop actioner BAD BOYS (10pm, Sun, C4) - still Michael Bay's best ever film... the notion of banning chocolate, as explored by teatime-drama BOOTLEG (5.55pm, Sun, BBC1), would be even funnier if there wasn't currently an epidemic of child obesity... appallingly juvenile spider-scarer ARACHNOPHOBIA is pointlessly mis-scheduled at 10.55pm (Sun, BBC1)... while TOMORROW LA SCALA (9pm, Tue, BBC1) sees bloody Jessica Stevenson confirming something social workers have long suspected: the one thing that can rehabilitate violent criminals and unemployed steelworkers alike is - the magic of showbiz!... the "UK resistance" episode of HITLER'S BRITAIN (9pm, Tue, C5) is marred only by repeated use of the orchestral sting from "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"... another web fad is swiftly appropriated in EXTREME IRONING (10.35pm, Tue, C4)... ultraviolent French crime chaser DOBERMANN (12.40am, Tue, C4) appears only loosely based on the "Sergeant Bilko" character of the same name... and the acclaimed all-musical episode of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" is bumped from its terrestrial debut by, you've guessed it, SNOOKER (6.45pm, Thu; 11.35pm, Fri, BBC2)... FILM>> sure, it's not vintage Woody Allen, but it's got him swapping snappy dialogue with Helen Hunt and sometimes that's better than nothing, cautions THE CURSE OF THE JADE SCORPION ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2001/the_curse_of_the_jade_scorpion.html : some kids could become interested in trying to hypnotize others; [Allen] tells [Charlize Theron] to remove her coat since it hasn't rained in his apartment in twenty years. She then opens and partially lowers it, apparently exposing her nude body to him)... that "Billy Elliot" kid is kept on his toes by as-you'd-expect Brit-made WW1 frightfest DEATHWATCH ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : contains strong language, violence and horror) - not to be confused with John Malkovich's epic South American terrorism directorial debut THE DANCER UPSTAIRS (http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : contains strong language and moderate, bloody violence)... while Adam Sandler adapts some of the tracks from his "Stan and Judy's Kid" album - though sadly not the excellent "She Comes Home To Me" Sinatra spoof - into kids' gross-out "A Chanukah Carol" animation 8 CRAZY NIGHTS ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/8crazynights.htm : masochism, repeatedly; licking a dog's tongue; flatulence as a weapon; song of hate; a boy is seen wearing a girl's underwear; the entirety of this show [is] focused around impudence, hate and sex)... CONFECTIONERY THEORY>> so, we figure, what's to stop you skipping the whole text 'mcflurry' to 80101 business and just brandishing a phone displaying "FREE Chocolate Orange McFlurry with any xtra value meal. Use as many times til 31Dec.Join McDs;-)TXT if 14+.Rules@mcdonalds.co.uk. Rply with age+gender eg18M" (ours originated from +447950081690)? And the McFlurry itself? Delicious!... reader CHARLOTTE LATIMER didn't exactly hyperventilate over the "Spicy Cocktail" AIRWAVES GUM - "a touch orangey but it quickly fades to that indistinguishable 'Airwaves' flavour all the others get. As my grandma always said: 'Limited demand begets limited edition'", while we only liked the yellow and red ones out of the four colours of MARS HARRY POTTER FIZZING WHIZBEES (39p), making the HONEYDUKES BEST CHOCOLATE BAR (20p) - with its blue-green raspberry flavoured caramel "mystery filling" - this month's undisputed "Taste Abomination". Can't wait for their four different flavours of DRAGON EGGS early next year, to be joined by CHEERIOS, NESQUIK and GOLDEN GRAHAM CEREAL AND MILK BARS, plus the ever-popular WRIGLEY EXTRA THIN ICE melt-in-your-mouth soluble breath-freshening strips (75p for pack of 24)... following previous speculation in this column, NESTLE's six- chunk MINI SMARTIES CHOCOLATE BAR (39p) at last arrived in the UK, in milk and white variants, though we don't have the international experience to compare it with HENRY SCOTT's Belgian sighting of white chocolate GALAKA with embedded smarties, which he evocatively dubs "a real life-affirming bastard of a biscuit. Stunning." (Anyone tried the SMARTIES COOKIES apparently sold in Germany?) And finally: tests of VANILLA COKE continue in the colonies, described by visitor- to-the-US JENNY COLGAN as "like some kid who'd eaten too many sweets at Hallowe'en walked past and happened to throw up in your mouth", and by Australian resident ADRIAN FURBY as "very very tasty - reminds me of 'Creaming Soda'". Cream*ing* Soda, Adrian? We really don't want to know... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "self-styled computing comedian" http://www.eurogamer.net/article-discussion.php?news_id=21995#comments NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntkmart.com/ (K) 2002 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.