Need To Know 2003-01-03

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>> SLOW NEWS << more FAQs Q. You know, I'm a busy man and I'm nearly forty years old and I've got kids and everything but, pretty much every week I read your newsletter from end to end (it's a Sunday evening kind of thing), including (and this is the funny thing) the frankly weird review of new confectionery (and crisps). What's wrong with me? Can you help? - Steve Bowbrick How does NTK pay the bills? I couldn't live without it... well, actually I could (that was, he said to clarify the bleeding obvious, a figure of speech) but a small, angry ray of sunlight would be missing. - Mark Gibbs I hardly ever read it but whoa - when I do I have fun and I laugh and hop with delight. So what do you get out of it? Adulation? Creative satiety? Emails asking similar questions? - Ross McLean A. All of the above, Ross - all of the above. NTK, you'll be reassured to hear, doesn't cost much to run (largely thanks to the generosity of http://www.unfortu.net/ ), and makes some money via t-shirt sales at http://www.ntkmart.com/ and other "merchandising spin-offs". But, to be honest, the main reason we keep going is that we get such interesting mail - plus the opportunity to reach such desirable opinion-formers as Steve "Webmedia/Another.com" Bowbrick, with news like this year's (somewhat belated) NTK CHRISTMAS/NEW YEAR APPEAL: [THROUGH MOUTHFUL OF PRINGLES] Hi - Danny here. Now, many of you will have heard of LEE FELSENSTEIN, the Berkeley free speech activist who helped found the Homebrew Computer Club in Silicon Valley (where the Apple was first demo-ed), created the first cheapo modem, hacked up the Osborne 1, and co- founded the still-heavily-cloaked Hackers Conference (the place where information first wanted to be free). And what is the original social engineer up to now? Well, at the request of a local charity, he's invented a five-PC, bicycle-powered, ultra-cheap Linux network that will let remote villages in Laos (between Thailand and Vietnam) connect with the local market town via WiFi, and thence onto the Net. But they're having problems convincing their sponsors that they'll be able to get it working before the monsoon. So they're going to scratch the money together and do it anyway. So far, I've managed to fail to convey the coolness of this idea via several forums, including Slashdot, BoingBoing, Metafilter and RobotWisdom. Now it's your turn. Read the bumf below, and then consider donating UKP10 of that money your gran sent you to: http://www.jhai.org/donations.htm - and mark it "Remote IT". C'mon - pedal-powered retro Linux WiFi: imagine how much practical economics the villagers could learn from a few games of emulated Elite. http://www.anu.edu.au/people/Roger.Clarke/II/IWtbF.html - origins of the Information/free meme http://www.oblomovka.com/writing/irish/2002-09-27%3ALee_Felsenstein.php3 - you've been stalking him for a while now then, Dan? http://www.oblomovka.com/entries/2003/01/01#1041472680 - NTK's scheduled bitterness and illwill to all men... http://www.oblomovka.com/mirrors/lee/ - ...will return next week Q. Have you thought of trying to provide a glossary for those who don't know all your in-terms (like me)? Even when you occasionally explain them, they're soon forgotten and the explanations are hard to re-find: e.g. "Falco", "Meme". I'm left with a dodgy feeling where I think I understand what they mean but don't know the reason/origin. - Paul Streeter A. Ah, but what if that's the effect we're trying to create? Seriously, "meme" now appears to be regarded as a real word: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=meme although the origins of "Falco" are becoming increasingly obscure. Just for you though, Paul, here's a step-by-step explanation of what some of our regular features are supposed to be about, conveniently coinciding with this week's seasonal lack of material. >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious [Originally this was supposed to be news sources which report the blindingly obvious - hence the tagline - but has since expanded to take in the likes of DOHs, topical goofs and misprints (ideally of a humorous nature), and those ever- popular GOOGLE MISSPELLINGS:] eg, NEW ZEALAND doesn't cancel next Christmas, but at least postpones it: http://www.tnzi.co.nz/us/numbering.asp#public ... RADIO 4 broadcasts a minute of "traditional" dead air: http://media.guardian.co.uk/radio/story/0,12636,867490,00.html - listen in at: http://www.ntk.net/2003/01/03/dohchimes.mp3 ... or, how *not* to change table headers to table cells: http://www.google.com/search?q=witd+tde ... SINATRA to "live in infamy as one of the greatest crooners of our time": http://www.skymall.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/Store.woa/wa/search?kw=sinatra ... and goodbye from them - SWEDEN's future not so "Orange" after all: http://www.ntk.net/2003/01/03/dohswe.gif ... the HUMAN LEAGUE song?: http://www.ntk.net/2003/01/03/dohdarts.gif ... >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ [Superficially resembles the AntiNews section, consisting as it does primarily of links preceded by cryptically hard-to- read "humorous comments". But while AntiNews is mainly things which are unintentionally amusing - misprints and so forth - MemePool is supposed to be matters of greater importance or, failing that, intentional attempts at comedy. Note that this does not typically extend to funny animal Photoshoppery or "topical" Flash rewrites of Breakout or Space Invaders, which http://www.b3ta.com/ are more than welcome to.] eg, "Weihnachten" (Christmas)/ "Wermacht" (army) confusion?: www.canada.com/search/story.aspx?id=e0d62c89-b64e-4607-84e3-3396107535d5 ... http://img-greenbooks.theonering.net/tookish/images/090102_dude.jpg vs http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=138905 ... spoof page: http://mirrors.meepzorp.com/imdb.com/gnfos/ - for an actual imdb entry?: http://us.imdb.com/Title?0274518 ... "do not engage in sexual activity with your partner for 4- 5 days prior to use": http://www.sexdetect.com/faq.php - or ever again, if you're not careful... 2003 is "third year of a sequence", divines: http://www.biblenews1.com/ ... worth a go: http://www.rootingoutevil.org/index.php3/MissionUSA ... Q. Any self-respecting FAQ goes self-referential in the first item. So, my FAQ: where can I find the entire NTK FAQ in a standalone doc (rather than spread across a couple of old editions)? - Andrew Simmons A. OK Andrew, we're working on it. We just need to update some of the more "exotic" claims we've made in the past: http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=01997-08-29&l=263#l >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> great news for "robots in disguise" fans, with the UK debut of TRANSFORMERS: ARMADA (8am, Sat, Sky One) and the addition of BEAST WARS (10.30am, Sat, C5) to C5's two-hour lineup of Saturday morning CGI... there's a chance to digitise more Arnie prank call samples from KINDERGARTEN COP (5.35pm, Sat, ITV): http://www.btinternet.com/~pir8/arnie/ ... and we still think the next sequel to Ashley Judd sub-"Silence Of The Lambs" thriller KISS THE GIRLS (9.25pm, Sat, BBC1) should be called "Kiss The Girls III: Wee Wee Wee All The Way Home"... the schedules seem to be busily propagandising the benefits of Western/Allied/NATO intervention in Nazi drama-doc CONSPIRACY (9.10pm, Sat, BBC2), weapons-of-mass-destruction missions OPERATION CROSSBOW (7.10pm, Sun, BBC2) and IRON EAGLE II (8pm, Mon, C5), ethnic cleansing docu THE FALL OF MILOSEVIC (9pm, Sun, BBC2), plus of course EMPIRE (9pm, Thu, C4), covering the - apparently numerous - positive aspects of British Imperialism... a more humanitarian position is espoused in Gerry Anderson profile MR THUNDERBIRD (4.55pm, Sun, C5) and subsequent feature-length spinoff THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO! (6.10pm, Sun, C5) - if only International Rescue had been around to intervene in Bonnie "Die Hard" Bedelia eco-disaster THE FIRE NEXT TIME (2.30pm, Sun, C5), or indeed dire Richard Blackwood vehicle ED STONE IS DEAD (11am, Sun, BBC2)... while it's "a virus" that's making Americans obese, theorises FAT PLAGUE (9pm, Mon, C4), as opposed to the "All You Can Eat" buffet at Pizza Hut... FRASIER returns in the unprestigious 10pm, Mon, C4 slot... 1997's Southall crash is the subject of pseudo-educational "When Trains And Other Vehicles Crash Into Each Other" reconstructer COLLISION COURSE (9pm, Tue, BBC2) ... someone purporting to be an investigative reporter examines identity theft in KENYON CONFRONTS (7.30pm, Wed, BBC1)... and videogaming returns to kids' TV - where it belongs? - in the form of Borg-Cube-set multiplayer battler LAN-JAM (4.20pm, Fri, ITV): http://www.lanjam.tv/ ... FILM>> Janeway "phones in" her cameo, but - on the plus side - Wesley Crusher doesn't have any lines, in nature-vs-nurture tea-flavour would-be "Wrath Of Khan" remake STAR TREK: NEMESIS ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/startrek-nemesis.htm : reference to transgender practitioners; approval of nudity for display; order to officers to comply with nudity display "requirements"; control by telepathy; "clone-ology")... otherwise there's the Portugese-language version of "Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels", Rio-de-Janiero gangster coming-of-ager CITY OF GOD (imdb: child/ crime/ death/ gun/ murder/ police/ poverty/ traffic/ violence)... or Ralph "Strange Days" Fiennes and Miranda "Blackadder" Richardson in David Cronenberg's disappointingly body-horror-free character study SPIDER ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : Contains infrequent strong language and disturbing behaviour)... BONERS: CORRECTIONS, CLARIFICATIONS, AND "INCORRECTLY REGARDED AS GOOFS">> Q. I spotted a mistake in last week's issue. Should I tell you about it? A. Yes, please do. If we make a mistake, we tend to get a lot of mail about it, usually in the form of amusingly sarcastic comments - and, if we're lucky, screenshots of our own website captioned "How about this for your doh section, guys? Hahaha!" Much as we look forward to these moment of public humiliation, we may not always have time to reply to all contributors. And if we do, we are sometimes regrettably short. On that note, well done to readers FRANK ARNAUD, JAMES METHLEY, ANDREW MORLEY, DOUGLAS YATES, SIMON "AM I THE THOUSANDTH PERSON TO POINT THIS OUT?" PARSONS, ROGER SAN MATERO, and IAN TRUSKETT who contested last week's answer that the YYYY-MM-DD format had "no precedent in established practice anywhere in the world" - when apparently it's very much in vogue in those notoriously depopulated nations of China and Japan. How about that for our doh section, eh? Hahaha!... a similar crowd commented on the issue of 2002-11-22 apparently providing "Tomorrow's news, today!", due to being datestamped from 24 hours in the future. But crypto-activist RICHARD CLAYTON was the first to astutely diagnose this as a side-effect of that issue's command to "set your clock to 23:59" in order to see all the numbers flip over: http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02002-11-22&l=174#l ... OWEN BLACKER incorrectly regarded us as goofs when he wrote to rectify NTK 2002-12-13's attribution of the Requiem For A Dream/ Two Towers trailer theme to one "Clint Poppie" - "I think you'll find that's Clint Mansell (and played by the Kronos Quartet)", he preened, continuing to maintain that the track is "credited to Clint Mansell" even after we pointed out that "Mansell" (and not "Vestan Pance") is actually Clint Poppie's real name! And finally, JOHN HOLLINGUM provided a timely reminder of why this is called the "Boners" section by bashing NTK's 2002-10-04 correction of the quote from a search-engine optimiser, which we reported as: "Google's penalty literally took food out of my families mouth". As John noted, the original comment identified that it was Google's "penality" (sic) which "literally took food out of [his] families mouth" - a mental image which, although it isn't technically a synonym for "penis", certainly gave him something to "snigger about". NTK regrets the non-error and any absence of double-entendre it may have caused... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "more substantial" http://www.guardian.co.uk/online/story/0,3605,867294,00.html NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntkmart.com/ (K) 2003 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Full license at: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/1.0 Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.