"AOL has estimated it would need 360,000 CDs each year at a cost
of UKP34m to set up and maintain the [data retention] system."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2706677.stm
...ie: about as many as they mail out in a week?
>> HARD NEWS <<
distinct deja-vus
After our jocular "history is repeating itself" motif of last
week, we're disturbed to find that 2003 is continuing to
increasingly resemble a 1990s megamix. One of the first major
cyberrights flaps in the UK was a 1996 piece by THE OBSERVER
newspaper, which unfairly declared Clive Feather of Demon to
be Britain's "pornographer in chief" - all because Demon had
newsgroups with funny names, and The Observer had a picture of
Clive looking shifty. The whole thing turned out to be major
embarrassment for the truth-seeking, civil-rights-loving
Observer, as the paper claimed credit for the shut-down of the
first anonymous remailer, anon.penet.fi, and the FBI point-
blank denied the quotes ascribed to them. The Observer has a
short memory, though, and ran the story a second time, back in
2000, when, on a slow news day, it reeled once more at the
shockingly continuing presence of Demon newsgroups. Still,
like the addled Net users we are, we're getting a bit hardened
to these sensational exclusives. Which is handy, because this
week, they ran the same story again. Admittedly, this time,
the names had been changed: it was Easynet now, not Demon, who
were "peddling child porn involving incest and bestiality"
(ie: running a full newsfeed). Basically, then, The Observer
digs out this story roughly every three years, in the hope
that nobody notices. It may be worth checking to see if they
do that with the rest of the paper, too.
http://www.community.org.uk/met-obsl.htm
- back then even the CIXen were roused from their sedan chairs
http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02000-03-24&l=60#l
- article itself mysteriously gone from the archives
http://tinyurl.com/54tc
- archive.org remembers all
http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/29062.html
- Easynet not taking it lying down
Open source PC-recyclers THE REDUNDANT TECHNOLOGY INITIATIVE
describe themselves as "very impressed" with the standard of
entries they had from our readers for their last UKP1000 2-
week residency at their Access Space media lab in Sheffield.
And NTK was "definitely one of the places" where the eventual
winner, German electronic sound artist Malte Steiner, heard
about it, making us almost morally compelled to tell you about
this next one, just in case you - yes, you, Mr "Between Jobs"
Tinkering Sysadmin - could make $$$ by going all "artistic".
As before, tamar@lowtech.org would like to receive not more
than 2 sides of A4 plus your CV, outlining a moderately low-
tech free-software project that would "contain a strong visual
element", to wow the crowds at a 2-hour workshop at the end of
your fun-packed fortnight in post-industrial Full Monty-land.
http://lowtech.org/intro/
- 2 weeks, 10 working days, or "80 hour equivalent"
http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02002-10-04&l=46#l
- and they even got round to updating their website too
While we're handing out the curatorships: does anyone want
the 5K competition? It's nearly the season for the only
half-way decent annual challenge on the Web, and by now
compressimaniacs around the world should be obfuscating
their javascript at the very thought of fitting a neat game,
design or flesh-eating worm into 5120 bytes of http-served
glory. But the 5K's creators have left the building. They're
spending their time these days hacking on their prospective
MOO-for-money, The Game Neverending, and they are not coming
out. Last September, the judges offered the 5K to anyone who
wanted it - but as yet, nobody has come forward. Any
volunteers? Would you like to be king of the modern-day demo
scene? Should we do it? Or should everyone sit outside the
Neverending's portal, yelling until the founders come out?
http://www.the5k.org/
- answers to a Yahoo mailing list
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/the5k/
- currently demonstrating the apathy L-curve
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
in Middle East, the punishment for smoking in toilets is harsh:
www.ntk.net/2003/01/31/dohegypt.jpg ... Naked eBay Guy Strikes Again!
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1942839616
(look at the reflection in the TV) ... we think everyone with
experience of Grimes, Iowa deserves a sizeable commiseration:
http://desmoineshasjobs.com/0/0/4/0/po/000002.htm ... children
can be cured of fear of dark with torches, lit rooms:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2686891.stm ... not fair, BBC
designers: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2699481.stm ...
and the inappropriate banner ad folk are trying too hard too:
http://www.ntk.net/2003/01/31/dohnohands.png ... and if PUERILE
GOOGLISMS http://www.google.com/search?q=%22bums+night%22
lose their appeal, will SCR1PT K1DDI3 GOOGLISMS be far behind?
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22index+of+hidden%22 ... and
what about our extensive SURREAL GOOGLE MISSPELLING collection:
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22bob+marley%22+whalers ...
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
goto's considered non-harmful
Extensive research has revealed that next week's THE POLITICS
OF CODE: SHAPING THE FUTURE OF THE NEXT INTERNET (from 9.15am,
Thu 2003-02-06, the Oxford Union, registration from UKP15)
isn't the same as the similarly named 2001 bash in Cambridge
which featured a shouting Richard Stallman (for a change).
Nonetheless, it does promise LAURENCE "Eldred v. Ashcroft"
LESSIG, ESTHER "Release n.0" DYSON and FIPR's IAN "not the
Stone Roses" BROWN discussing - and hopefully explaining -
"IPv6, digital rights management systems, and digital identity
and authentication technologies". You can catch Stallman,
meanwhile, at the Free and Open source Software Developers'
European Meeting FOSDEM 2003 (from Sat 2003-02-08, Universite
Libre de Bruxelles, Brussels, all talks and tutorials free but
"donations are welcome"), along with JON "MADDOG" HALL, the
latter illuminating "The History Of Free Software: From 1300
AD To The Present Day". Handily, the UK's Linux User Groups
have set up a mailing list for anyone interested in "exploring
shared travel/accommodation/sponsorship arrangements" for the
event - and let's hope that's not all they end up "exploring",
if you know what we mean.
http://mailman.lug.org.uk/mailman/listinfo/fosdem/
- we mean Brussels' many other delightful attractions...
http://www.fosdem.org/
- ...of course
http://pcmlp.socleg.ox.ac.uk/code/
- requires IE, Opera or "Netscape 6 and above"
>> TRACKING <<
sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering
So, you did something awful in a past life, and now you've
got to do a proper, businesslike presentation in front of an
audience of your peers. But how? You don't want to use
PowerPoint because of those pledges your friends made to
shoot you if you ever did. Your grungy five-year old clown
laptop might spontaneously self-immolate as you sweep onto
the stage - but you don't know what backup hardware they'll
have running at the venue. You want your presentation to be
in plaintext so you can hack final tweaks, but you also want
to be able to stick in those funny pictures you snagged at
the last minute from Google Images. You don't want to use
Keynote because your image is of a raw, rough-and-ready
soothsayer, not a turtlenecked Jobs clone. So what do you
do? Can we suggest the rarely mentioned, but rather cool,
presentation feature of the unbrowser, Opera? Pressing F11
in any version of Opera since v.5.0 will switch the app
fullscreen, with a new media stylesheet enabled: simple HTML
pages magically become individual slides, which you can
flick through using PgUp and PgDown. Opera itself fits in
under 4MB, so you can stick it on a USB key, or download it
at your destination. Your presentation is in HTML, so you
can download that too. Opera's non-free, but hell, it'll run
on anything - and the ad-supported versions don't show their
wares in presentation mode. Plus the more people use this
feature, the (marginally) more likely it will that Mozilla
and friends will adopt the same useful functionality.
http://www.opera.com/support/tutorials/operashow/
- step-by-step guide
http://www.w3.org/Talks/2002/04/11-pemberton
- as used by the W3C
http://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id=120398
- but not by Moz
http://titanium.dstc.edu.au/xml/jacksvg/
- alternatively, how about doing it all in SVG?
>> MEMEPOOL <<
ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/
these days the West Country treats WiFi with merely suspicion,
not mortal fear: http://www.psand.net/watershed/ ...
at last, the perfect place to stick a sellotape dispenser:
http://www.extremetech.com/article2/0,3973,846370,00.asp ...
and you thought it was hard to get permits for anti-war marches:
http://c8.com/anathematician/lrrs.htm ... www.omfg.com !1!!1!!
... www.homedespot.com/ ... Darth Straw up to his Jedi Mind Tricks
again: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/2697667.stm ...
www.ugly-midis.de.vu/ ... could this be the next Kevin Warwick?
http://www.augerment.com/projects_at.html - *seems* zany enough:
http://www.gsa.ac.uk/design/product/degreeshow95/people/peopfour.htm#James
... wonder if they also considered doing this to the pop song
"Halo", by Texas: http://halo.bungie.org/misc/aholemirrors.html
... the perfect combo: unsteady boats, alcohol, and electric drills:
www.hydrobikes.com/Hydrobike_Video/Products/Boat_Blender/boat_blender.html
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> Antoine "Training Day" Fuqua directs Mira Sorvino in THE
REPLACEMENT KILLERS (11.10pm, Fri, BBC1) - aka "Time Crisis:
The Movie"...CD:UK HOTSHOTS (1.25am, Fri, ITV) "may include
content unsuitable for Saturday mornings"... and Kim Delaney
Week kicks off with CSI: MIAMI (9pm, Sat, C5), NYPD BLUE
(11.40pm, Tue, C4) plus erotic thriller TEMPTRESS (10.50pm,
next Fri, C5)... while CSI: Vegas's William Petersen
confusingly faces Hannibal Lecter in the '80s-tastic MANHUNTER
(10.05pm, Sat, C4)... the rapid-reacting BBC now holds its top
2002 TV MOMENTS (9pm, Sat, BBC1) in Feb instead of mid-March:
http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02002-03-15&l=214#l ... THE
SIXTH SENSE (9pm, Sun, ITV) is basically "Signs" but without
any aliens... here's hoping "Baghdad" isn't suddenly added to
the list as archeologist Dan Cruickshank rummages through the
rubble of THE LOST CITIES OF IRAQ (9pm, Sun, BBC2)... and
Alotta Fagina's cameo in the original-and-best AUSTIN POWERS:
INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY (9pm, Sun, C4) is followed, aptly
enough, by DESIGNER VAGINAS (10.45pm, Sun, C4)... the mildly
unairworthy CON AIR (9pm, Mon, C5) and LEONARDO'S DREAM
MACHINES (9pm, Mon, C4) are both scheduled against Martin
Bashir's typically po-faced LIVING WITH MICHAEL JACKSON - A
TONIGHT SPECIAL (9pm, Mon, ITV)... Richard E Grant's career
goes from Argos ads to a 10-min cookery spoof written by the
"Does my bum look big in this?" woman POSH NOSH (9.50pm, Tue,
BBC2)... and Morrissey gives a rare TV appearance as GOD
ALMIGHTY (10.50pm, Tue, C5)... THE DAY I DIED (9pm, Wed, BBC2)
gives credence to the bollocks "that near-death experiences
actually come from beyond the brain"... scifi Western OUTLAND
(9pm, Wed, C5) perpetuates that old "explosive decompression"
myth: http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_147.html ... and
20 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU'RE 30 (10.35pm, Thu, C4) is a drama
about 20somethings who must somehow have missed last year's C5
show "99 Things To Do Before You're 30", and indeed Dom Joly's
presumably still-unmade "100 Things to Do Before You Die":
http://www.amiannoyingornot.com/2002/view.aspx?ID=6670 ...
FILM>> Spielberg makes a rare venture into comedy - what next
for this talented young director: romance? - in overlong
anachronism-packed '60s-set social-engineering missing-kid
caper CATCH ME IF YOU CAN ( http://uk.imdb.com/Goofs?0264464 :
when [DiCaprio] escapes from the plane after crossing the
Atlantic, the plane is a modern 2-engine jet; the US currency
seen throughout the movie is from the 1996 and 1999 issues)...
it's "Death Wish" meets "Memento" in extraordinarily brutal
French filmed-backwards rape-revenge arthouser IRREVERSIBLE
( http://www.cndb.com/movie.html?title=Irr%E9versible+%282002%29 :
[Monica Bellucci] and real life lover Vincent Cassel wanted to
work together on a project that involved steamy sex scenes)...
- despite the similar title and explicit theme, not to be
confused with ageing-groupie midlife-crisis THE BANGER SISTERS
( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/the_banger_sisters.html :
due to [Goldie Hawn's] presence and influence, [Susan Sarandon]
eventually loosens up, smokes a joint and uses some profanity;
[Hawn] and [Sarandon] return home to discover [Erika "Traffic"
Christensen] having sex in the family pool)...
FROM DESPAIR - TO LEISUREWEAR>> and well done to first-time
caller BEN GOLDACRE, who was apparently unaware of sites like
http://www.googlism.com/ when he suggested the not-at-all
puerile - and occasionally quite poetic - Google search:
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22the+internet+is+like%22 at
the start of last November. Exactly 43 edited results of
things that "the internet is like" - from "a large appletalk
network" to "trying to put a cat in a washing machine" - are
now available on t-shirts over at http://www.ntkmart.com/ ,
and Ben gets a pound for each one we sell (yeah, it's usually
more, but it's not usually such hard work converting the idea
into a usable graphic)... also new this month: special knock-
down prices - for as little as a week or so - on design
classics like the "Born To Run" ZX font and "I Spend All Day
Bitching About You On IRC Channels You Can't See", while the
ever-creative LLOYD WOOD has invested some of his royalties
from last year's popular "++ungood;" into what he believes to
be its diametric opposite: text saying "++good;", in black ink
on a women's white "skinny tee". Continuing his "1984" theme,
Lloyd hopes that the man's version of the shirt will now be
called "the Winston", and that "the ++good; F-fit will have
a strange attraction for the Julia set", he puns, shamelessly
... leading the pack of this month's runners-up was STEPHEN
GILLIES' strong-concept-but-not-quite-there-for-some-reason:
http://www.max.net.au/t-shirt.html ; LUKE PILLANS' pleasingly
pixellated - though not immediately obvious - Tetris tribute:
http://www.btinternet.com/~l.pillans/tetris_ntk_lpillans.gif ;
and THOMAS CHIVERTON'S poignantly text-only "suicide.h:1198:
warning: 'class MWaitSelf' only defines a private destructor
and has no friends"... ED FEAR took the media placement prize
for getting his "FairPlay" shirt onto BBC2's "Can't Get Enough
Video Games" - more at http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/images/ -
but WILL GRAINGER received nothing at all for asking "Does he
get a free t-shirt?", regarding the man wanted by police
earlier this year regarding "the dismembered remains of two
women found in bin bags" http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/2619123.stm .
(Un)fortunately, Will, it wasn't one of ours, and anyway, the
rules clearly disqualify "entrants who, for instance, commit a
hideous felony then wear the shirt to the subsequent court
case" - please note, http://www.martian.fm/uckWa.htm ...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
Registered at the Post Office as
"What do we have to do to get banned round here?"
http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/filtering/china/test/
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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