Need To Know 2003-02-07

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"[Sendo] was rushing ahead with a substandard and unreliable product, Microsoft argued..." - BBC NEWS ONLINE reports on the mobile phone OS wars http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/2727811.stm ...and Microsoft is perfectly capable of releasing those *all by itself* >> HARD NEWS << demographic skews "THE NEW STATESMAN NEW MEDIA AWARDS 2003," their official website explains, "in association with SchlumbergerSema, is focusing on how new media technology is used to make a difference in public life". For a little clarification of what they have in mind here, you might recall the name of the sponsor, SchlumbergerSema, from our "So, who is in favour of ID cards?" musings last month, when they were enthusiastically backing a one-day conference on the subject of "what the next steps should be towards the possible implementation of an Entitlement Card". Schlumberger also "sponsored" this week's remarkable finding that "Four out of five UK citizens are in favour of the introduction of entitlement cards, including the use of biometrics", according to a survey which they paid for. SchlumbergerSema make the Icitizen(TM) smart ID card (to be issued to 11 million Belgian citizens over the next 5 years), while their sister company, Schlumberger Oilfield Services, supply "Technology services and solutions for the petroleum industry". It's not quite "The UK Vegetarian Awards, brought to you in association with McDonalds". But it's pretty close. http://www.newstatesman.co.uk/nma/nma2003home.htm - themes of "innovation, efficiency and accessability" [sic] http://news.zdnet.co.uk/story/0,,t269-s2129590,00.html - 50% of sci-fi fans favour "iris recognition" www.cssa.co.uk/press/bulletins/weekly_bulletin/bully_10_12_02.asp#events - scroll down to "Entitlement Cards Conference" http://yro.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=52622&threshold=-1&cid=5214053 - /.ers post the usual unsubstantiated conspiracy theories It was last November when MPs become dimly aware that spam might be a problem. Dr. Brian Iddon, the Member for Bolton South East told Robin Cook that "many hon. Members have been receiving unsolicited and highly offensive pornography via the parliamentary network. The worst comes via a method called HTML". Our hopes for an emergency order banning all HTML mail in the British Isles came to nothing, though, and Parliament instead set upon installing a filter. http://www.adaptwestminster.co.uk/html/HoCDepts/pornfilter.htm - weapons of mass communication Cue lesson #2 for the parliamentarians - filters don't work. When the Great Wall of Westminster came up this week, voters complaining about the Sexual Offences act received a mail saying their messages had been filtered away. A constituent whose surname was Butt got mail to her elected representative bounced because of her name. The Lib Dems' paper on censorship got quietly dropped into the bitbucket. For the benefit of anyone who hasn't already had this issue of NTK intercepted by their own office firewall: fuck didn't get through to Parliament, but f-uck did. Fu-ck wouldn't, f-uck would. "Wankbadger" failed to reach MPs. "Wank-badger" succeeded. By Friday, the filter was tweaked, but still bouncing legitimate mail. We expect it'll take Parliament until around 2005 to start the next step: installing Bayesian-style personal filters on individual PCs. And around 2008 before MPs realise they can use it to filter away opinions they'd rather not hear. http://sethf.com/anticensorware/general/uk.php - previously banned: Hamlet http://www.faxyourmp.com/ - meanwhile, leave it to someone else to http://www.whitelabel.org/archives/000187.html#000187 - actually *encourage* thousands of voters to contact them >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious YAHOO unmasks "disturbing" Jacko, prone to "blowing millions", "shopping sprees": http://www.ntk.net/2003/02/07/dohmj.gif ... snooker-loopy cue-chalking pose could herald "maximum break" (with reality): http://www.ntk.net/2003/02/07/dohcue.gif ... and we thought you were supposed to show negative numbers in brackets?: http://www.inlandrevenue.gov.uk/taxisnottaxing/ ... TECHNOLOGY FOR LEARNING going nowhere: http://www.tfl.org.uk/ - perhaps for the best: http://www.tfl.org.uk/main.html ... "we provide all the necessary [web] resources internally", lies http://sydney.attik.com/beyond.php?currentpage=4 ... learn French, forget English: http://www.aaaparis.net/english/object.htm ... http://www.google.com/search?q=wireless+%22local+loo%22 - plus "selective breading", "strong currants", "marked with an asterix"... tricky to manoeuvre when you've got infinite mass: http://www.ntk.net/2003/02/07/doh18c.jpg ... sci-fi sites offer sympathy: http://www.ntk.net/2003/02/07/dohbaen.gif ... "the ideal place to study the physics of fire", enthuses: http://www1.msfc.nasa.gov/NEWSROOM/news/releases/2003/03-004.html >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful Hang on for a rollercoaster of ruthlessly objective empiricism next week, as UK crypto-guru ROSS ANDERSON controversially argues that open and closed approaches [to security] are basically equivalent, and that the best approach depends on other (related?) factors, like "the rate at which bug fixes are produced and applied". LONIX responsibly discloses that the talk starts around 6.40pm (with tea from 6) on Tue 2003- 02-11, at City University, London EC1, entrance free but you must pre-register even if already a Lonix member. Sadly, the official site for DARWIN DAY (Wed 2003-02-12, various venues worldwide) specifically denies that the occasion is "a non- religious or anti-religious celebration" (or even that it "worships" Charles Darwin), but anything that gets those creationists rattled is good enough for us. And heads will be bobbing up and down *and* from side to side when PATRICK HUGHES' WHOPPERSPECTIVE exhibition of false-perspective 3D paintings is unveiled at the Flowers East Gallery(82 Kingsland Road, London E2, from Fri 2003-02-14, opening hours 10am-6pm Tue-Sat, 11am-5pm Sun, admission free) - they're the "magic eye" pics that don't make you think you've gone blind. http://www.lonix.org.uk/tnet-cgi/Lonix?CODE=userMeetings - "please print [these baffling directions] to take with you" http://www.darwinday.org/event_info/2003_england.html - no, not the dolphin from "seaQuest DSV" http://www.flowerseast.co.uk/text/exhib.htm#exfeb - handily, impossible to show in a static photo >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering The MONO project is like many Ximian (and some would say, GNOMish) endeavours - exercised with full disclosure in public, but working at such an IRC-driven pace that it's a little difficult for outsiders to penetrate exactly what's going on at any moment. There's just too much going on for a non-Miguel-shaped head to comprehend. What MONO is going to be is broadly comprehensible: a free software C# compiler, runtime and class library for the .NET framework running on Linux/86 and after zat, ZE VURLD. But is it ready for casual use yet? And, if it is, where do you start? As Mono hits 0.19 and unofficial Debian package status, it looks good enough for really overly casual, sweatpants and sleeveless t-shirt C# coding (as long as you're coding from scratch and not porting from Windows). The real clincher, though, is there's now a GTK#-driven documentation browser. So now you don't have to wander the unfriendly streets of MSDN to learn the class libraries. Whether you want to look at C# in the first place is another question. It's a nice language - but then so was Anders Hejlsberg's last work, Delphi, and that never shook off enough proprietary taint to take off open-source-side. Still, it's nice to check out the competition - and scope where open languages like Perl6 are stealing their ideas from nowadays. http://www.go-mono.org/ - debugger and Visual Basic compiler too, oh my http://www.debianplanet.org/mono/ - still experimental http://monoevo.sourceforge.net/mono/annualreport.txt - 365 days of hack >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ humour in (Gateway) uniform: http://sct.staghosting.com/ ... everyone can be famous for 15 ZDNet articles, thanks to the WARHOL PRESS RELEASE: http://catless.ncl.ac.uk/Risks/22.53.html#subj7 ... GEFORCE humour, ctd: www.beyond3d.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4063 ... http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2304946029&category=302 NAKED EBAY GUY, you little tease! ...public warning rollover images: http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/l.philips/WebThr/contacts.htm ... old joke, still good: http://truemeaningoflife.com/wisdom.php?topid=40832 ... BEEF fights back its competitor in pre-teen market, ANOREXIA: www.cool-2b-real.com/ ... every nation has its DAVID ICKE: http://www.ufoseek.org/daemon.htm ... if you switch distros, http://www.debian.org/News/1997/shuttle1 the disloyalty gremlin will get you: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/2709875.stm ... be suspicious of all postcards from www.photoshopcruise.com ... irony: http://sf.net/mailarchive/forum.php?thread_id=1593325&forum_id=4258 ... war dossier plagiarism shock; critics suggest "M Khan" may be "bent": http://www.guardian.co.uk/Iraq/Story/0,2763,890916,00.html (vs http://www.angelfire.com/ok/marywhitehouse/mkahn.html )... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> who'd have thought that, out of John McTiernan's two Norman Jewison remakes, THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR (9pm, Sat, BBC1) would be more watchable than "Rollerball"?... there's another chance to see the almost incomprehensible "Comedy Lab" toon KNIFE AND WIFE (1.35am, Sat, C4) written by this guy: http://www.bubblegun.com/features/tellyganza.html ... while tedious zombie-chase STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT (5.15pm, Sun, BBC2) inspires a couple to construct a home resembling a Borg Cube in GRAND DESIGNS (9pm, Wed, C4)... clearly, the real treats have been saved for Sunday, in the form of DARIA THE MOVIE: IS IT FALL YET? (1.10pm, Sun, C5), Mancunian Messiah two-parter THE SECOND COMING (9pm, Sun & Mon, ITV), THE ALL- NEW HARRY HILL SHOW (10.35pm, Sun, ITV) and predictably less- original sequel AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME (9pm, Sun, C4)... in a simultaneous transmission with BBC2, Lucas and Walliams' radio adaptation LITTLE BRITAIN (8.10pm, Sun, BBC2 & 3) is by far the highlight of a BBC3 launch lineup otherwise consisting of the sort of low-budget trendy nonsense E4 used to show, including undifferentiated desk show JOHNNY VAUGHN TONIGHT (7.10pm, Sun, BBC2 & 3) - and, pointlessly, two editions of TOTP-style covers show RE:COVERED (7.50pm & 8.35pm, Sun, BBC2 & 3)... the channels synchronise again late at night for the likes of Fast Show-spinoff SWISS TONI (12.30am, Wed, BBC1) and the impressively unamusing THIS IS DOM JOLY (1am, Wed, BBC1)... but you need digital to witness the full TVGoHome-style horror of Vinnie Jones fly-on-the-wall docu VINNIE (9pm, Mon, BBC3), Elastica's Justine Frischmann co-hosting groovy-architecture show DREAMSPACES (9.30pm, Mon, BBC3), and Leonardo DiCaprio holiday video THE BEACH (9pm, Wed, BBC3)... back on analogue, C5 holds the fort with Renny Harlin/ Saffron Burrows sub-aqua career highlight DEEP BLUE SEA (9pm, Mon, C5) - plus the ever-popular DIRTY HARRY (9pm, Wed, C5)... HOLIDAYS IN THE AXIS OF EVIL (11.20pm, Mon & Tue, BBC2) is reversioned for BBC2... EMAILS YOU WISH YOU HADN'T SENT (9.50pm, Wed, BBC2) kicks off with Claire Swire - though shouldn't it be "*They* wish *they* hadn't sent", surely?... and BATTLE STATIONS (8pm, Thu, C4) argues the Thunderbirds- lookalike Lockheed Skunkworks Blackbird SR-71 was the "world's first stealth aircraft" - except that its huge exhaust plume made it one of the "largest radar targets ever detected" by the FAA: http://www.fas.org/irp/program/collect/sr-71.htm ... FILM>> if you enjoyed the spectacular Heath-Robinson-style deaths of unknown teenagers in "Final Destination 1", then you'll love the brutal more-of-the-same in FINAL DESTINATION 2 ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/finaldestination2.htm : portrayal that Satan controls death; long sequence of bloody traffic fatalities; a lot of kids [...] now know what their mother's chest looks like - without any clothes)... else it's romances of varying levels of quirkiness, with Sandra Bullock/ Hugh Grant lame screwball sexual-harassment effort TWO WEEKS NOTICE ( http://uk.imdb.com/title/tt0313737/board/thread/492713 : Granted, Airwolf may not have been the most popular show of the 1980s but I think it is unfair to betray the loyal fan base in the way that the team behind this film have)... or nerdy Adam Sandler and Emily Watson juggling phone-sex debts and air miles promotions in arthouse rom-com PUNCH DRUNK LOVE ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/punch_drunk_love.html : [Sandler's] sisters talk among themselves that they used to call him "gay boy" all of the time)... not based around the Williams arcade game of the same name, Ray Liotta and Jason Patric remake "Training Day" in gritty cop acting-fest NARC ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2002/narc.html : A suspect says something about, "I might let him suck on my d*ck once or twice," but that appears to be more of a derogatory comment rather than purely sexual)... plus a taste of "mild peril" for the kids in TV cartoon spinoff THE WILD THORNBERRYS MOVIE ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/wildthornberrysmovie-the.htm : flatulence; wedgie humor; teen rudeness, repeatedly; crude monkey display; in keeping the with thrust of Darwinism, all the animals are as articulate and intelligent as humans)... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "it's never been about sex" (p109, Marie Claire, March 2003) NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntkmart.com/ (K) 2003 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Full license at: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/1.0 Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.