Need To Know 2003-06-13

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"The commercial value of nanotech stems from the simple fact that the laws of physics don't apply at the molecular level..." - Green party MEP Caroline Lucas says "no, no" to nano http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,3604,975427,00.html ...the laws of the European Parliament, on the other hand, are substantially more far-reaching >> HARD NEWS << harmonised EUs? Noted Roxy Music fan [NTK 2002-10-25] and MEP in charge of software patents ARLENE MCCARTHY has finally revealed on what side she stands on the issue: fiercely pro-vague. After Richard Stallman and Nick Hill wrote a piece in the Guardian worrying that the proposed EU directive was ambiguous enough to let in US-style software patents, Arlene went on the attack. It's far better to harmonise laws across the EU, she wrote, than to continue with the current mess. (A mess within which software patents are not expressly permitted.) Thankfully, though, RMS has nothing to worry about: "This directive will not have any adverse effects on open source software development", she says, pointing to the success of free software in the USA as proof. (Oddly, she doesn't mention the years of confusion and wasted effort that the LZW GIF patent caused - timely if only because it finally expires next week.) Then she put a bit of damper on it all by declaiming that free software is not free at all, and "actually a different form of monopoly", an argument that more traditional monopolies have always had a fondness for. Looking on the bright side, Phil Hunt and the CD-Rers on the old free-sklyarov-uk list have written asking her to back up her assurances by providing an explicit exemption for the Evil Monopolistic Open Source Software in the law. Well, it's worth a try, isn't it? http://www.cabalamat.org/weblog/art_29.html - if only sarcasm could overturn bureacracies http://petition.eurolinux.org/pr/pr17.html - software patents literally slipping in on a technicality Talking of trying, you'll be glad to know that the British Code of Advertising, Sales Promotion and Direct Marketing now officially disapproves of unsolicited commercial email. So, every time a UK company (with whom you don't already have some sort of relationship) mails you without asking, you can mail the ASA and ask them what they're going to do about it. There's some godawful online form without a proper URL to fill in, and if Barry Dorran's experience with a WH Smith spam (below) is anything to go by, you can expect a long wait. But do it anyway, and let us know what happens. It'll be worth documenting exactly how seriously self-regulation is taken by spamming UK businesses. Especially as the government appears to be backsliding a bit about how it implements the EU's own rather more stringent anti-spam legislation. Apparently, a consultation with the marketing folk has already persuaded them that a simple, obligatory "ADV" in the headers could "restrict legitimate commercial/ entrepreneurial creativity and scope". Sigh. http://www.asa.org.uk/newcomplainbnm/ - all new complaints http://oberon.idunno.org/whspam/ - Barry sits and waits http://tinyurl.com/e8cd - DTI wimps out We've been assured that the brief and temporary unavailability of THE REGISTER's "Vulture Capitalist" ISP last month was due to a "problem with the DNS" - rather than, say, the company dispatching their black ops team of Lester Haines And Kieren McCarthy to the farthest reaches of the North Atlantic to found a offshore data haven there. Nonetheless, the duo - also responsible for relentless UK satire site THE ROCKALL TIMES - appear determined to visit the remote rocky outcrop of the same name on around July 19th of this year, in a bid to raise money for the charity Mental Health Media. The trip, which involves about two days of sailing out to Rockall, then a daring attempt on its guano-spattered summit, is costing about UKP5,000 in all, and there's still time for you to contribute in the form of corporate sponsorship, buying one of their collector's edition t-shirts, or just PayPal-ing them some loose cyberchange. Let's face it, 5 grand to send two of the UK's top web satirists to a windswept lump of granite in the Atlantic ocean has never been cheaper - and, as the old joke puts it: how much to send them all there? http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/rockall-ho/ - all documented in appropriately terrifying detail >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious "somehow it just seemed like the right time to mention this": http://www.ntk.net/2003/06/13/dohv.gif ... huh, no option to "visit our text-only version"?: http://www.usability.co.uk ... "If this had happened 10 years ago, when the internet didn't exist, [former New York Times editor] Raines would still be running the place", asserts rigorously factchecking blogger: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,176-706335,00.html ... new thrill! innocently named sites with unfortunate URLS: http://www.powergenitalia.com/ , http://www.gotahoe.com/ ... plus (variation on old) thrill - puerile Google spellcheck fixes: http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Osaka+Bin+Laden%22 , http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Saddam+Hussies%22 , and http://www.google.com/search?&q=%22Forsythe+Saga%22 - slightly different "Generation Game"... shaving minutes off time wasted in bathroom: http://www.ntk.net/2003/06/13/dohshave.gif ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful A couple of people have written in saying: well, if NTK's not going to do an "Extreme Computing"-style event this summer [see NTK 2003-05-09], then maybe they'll just have to organise one of their own, a trend of which we entirely approve. In the meantime, the speakers from last year's conference must plough their lonely solo furrows, with '80s throwback GARY LE STRANGE unpacking his full-length one-man-show POLAROID SUITCASE (from next Fri 2003-06-20, Canal Cafe Theatre, London W2, and thence to the festivals of Edinburgh and York). On the subject of "leftfield electronica", NTK's Dave Green is supposed to be joining the Paying the Piper panel at CYBERSONICA (from next Thu, 2003-06-19, various prices/ London venues), a festival which also features Howie B, Kid 606, regular fixture DJ Spooky, and onomatopoeic techno writer David Toop. Then cyber- activist author and polymath CORY DOCTOROW (of The San Francisco Boing Boing) arrives the week after next, discussing OPEN SPECTRUM: SETTING THE AIRWAVES FREE? (12:30pm, Tue 2003- 06-24, iSociety, London SW1, free but RSVP), and enlivening the lineup of Alan Cox, Tim O'Reilly and Jon 'maddog' Hall at THE LINUX USER AND DEVELOPER EXPO 2003 (from Tue 2003-06-24 to 06-26, Birmingham NEC, conference UKP80+VAT but exhibition free), an event which has now redesigned the menu options on its website so as not to offend NTK readers' sensibilities. http://www.linuxuserexpo.com/ - vs http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=02003-04-11&l=128#l http://www.workfoundation.com/research/isociety/open_spectrum.jsp - also addressing Oxford Uni SciFi/ Computing societies? http://www.cybersonica.org/festival_programme/ - see also http://www.strangeattractor.co.uk/talks.html http://www.garylestrange.co.uk/ - and not, as some people have assumed, Danny in a suit >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering It's not often that we let the likes of JavaScript show its mucky face around this gaff, but JESSE RUDERMAN's bookmarklets collection is worth a closer look - especially if you're currently hacking on your imminent CSS redesign. It's your usual pile of slightly-too-many-things to drag to your toolbar, but hidden among the mundane apps are some truly amazing utilities. As described by Simon Willison, Jesse's Gecko-only "edit styles" bookmarklet is astounding: it pops up a little window that shows the CSS style sheet of the current page - then lets you dynamically edit it, with changes being reflected in the page in realtime. Some other corkers: a complete javascript shell (with history); converting textareas in forms into wysiwyg HTML editors; quick validation; highlighting regexps and more. There are even bookmarklets for remotely-loading bookmarklets on someone else's computer that doesn't have your bookmarklets installed. It's like the obfuscated 1K competition of code that actually does something. http://www.squarefree.com/bookmarklets/ - the complete list http://simon.incutio.com/archive/2003/06/03/bookmarkletsAndCSS - simon's gentler explanation >> MEMEPOOL << ceci n'est pas une http://www.gagpipe.com/ worth persevering: http://scenario.com/ericrice/cyber.txt ... being "a good cybercitizen" surely requires avoiding Comic Sans?: http://www.cybercrime.gov/rules/cybercitizen.htm ... Oxford University takes "ubiquitous internet" slightly too far: http://www.shahidhussain.com/gallery/Oxford/IMG_0515 ... "Greg Brady" doll regenerated as "Tom Baker" action figure: http://www.leviathanstudios.com/figures/who/ ... "pre-WW2"- style scifi features Angelina Jolie and Maggie Philbin - together at last!: http://www.imdb.com/Title?0346156 ... character above the "Search" option appears to have Yoda's head: http://www.inlandrevenue.gov.uk/pensionschemes/ ... scary thing is, National Lampoon were writing this back in 1984: http://www.nationallampoon.com/flashbacks/wg/hj00.html , http://www.nationallampoon.com/flashbacks/wg/wg02.html ... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> it's camp cameo week all week, with Cher in WILL AND GRACE (9.30pm, Fri, C4), Julia Roberts in LAW AND ORDER (10pm, Sat, C5), and Christopher Biggins - as himself! - in BAD GIRLS (9pm, Thu, ITV)... SPEAR OF CHRIST (9pm, Fri, BBC2) digs out the religious artefact which seems to have inspired the Nazis, "Raiders Of The Lost Ark", and Kirk Brandon's 1980s band "Spear of Destiny"... and STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (6.45pm, Sat, ITV) certainly would be "the best one", if it wasn't for bloody Yoda... Chris "Not The Nine O'Clock News" Langham *is* GEORGE ORWELL - A LIFE IN PICTURES (9.05pm, Sat, BBC2)... THE REAL ROOM 101 (10.35pm, Sat, BBC4) turns out to be where the BBC tortured dissident writers... and TOTAL RECALL (10.25pm, Sat, BBC1) is basically a more entertaining pre-CGI version of "The Matrix", right down to a - frankly more dramatic - "take the red pill"... FIGHTING THE WAR (9pm, Sun, BBC2) is not a "military docusoap", the BBC protests, too much... gimmicky realtime assassination drama NICK OF TIME (10.55pm, Sun, BBC1) remains the inspiration for "24"... and London 2600 http://www.london2600.org.uk/ have traced the IP quad hilariously hacked in SPOOKS (9pm, Mon, BBC1) as belonging to the US Navy, rather than MI5... WHAT THE WORLD THINKS OF AMERICA (9pm, Tue, BBC2) may be partly explained by pre-Election-2000 fly-on-the-wall JOURNEYS WITH GEORGE (11.20pm, Wed, BBC2), or indeed all those weird links to Iran-Contra, Savings and Loans, BBCI, and the Bin Ladens explored in THE BUSH FAMILY FORTUNES (9pm, Thu, BBC3)... ARE YOUR KIDS ON DRUGS? (8pm, Wed, C5), inquires Kirsty Young... if so, consider sending them to a novel environment which does not evoke conditioned withdrawal symptoms, recommends KILL OR CURE (9pm, Thu, BBC2)... hope Paxman points out the Star Wars parallels http://homepage.ntlworld.com/terry.dooher/potter.jpg when he interviews smug self-congratulatory single parent JK ROWLING (7.30pm, Thu, BBC2)... the mighty brain of Carol Vorderman counters with ARE YOU TELEPATHIC? (8.30pm, Thu, C5)... and the dark sorcery continues in BLAIR WITCH 2: BOOK OF SHADOWS (10pm, Thu, C5)... FILM>> John Cusack, Rebecca De Mornay and Clea DuVall head a star-studded B-list murder mystery with a post-modern twist in IDENTITY ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2003/identity.html : we see a flashback of [Amanda Peet] wearing a bra [that shows cleavage] and panties)... Peet Week continues as Kieran Culkin is left emotionally "Home Alone" by her, Claire Danes and Susan Sarandon in aimless spoilt-rich-kid's odyssey IGBY GOES DOWN ( http://www.cndb.com/movie.html?title=Igby+Goes+Down : when she's getting ready for a "date" with Jeff Goldblum [Peet] stands topless in front of a mirror)... otherwise there's a choice of 12A-rated gross-out smut comedies, in the form of Jason "Chasing Amy" Lee fiancee-fooling farce A GUY THING ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/guything_a.htm : focusing viewer on male privates by repeated scratching of them; use of illegal drugs in catered foods; [Jason Lee and Julia Stiles] end up in bed together - nude)... or original- cast-free cash-in DUMB AND DUMBERER: WHEN HARRY MET LLOYD ( www.screenit.com/movies/2003/dumb_and_dumberer_when_harry_met_lloyd.html : woman on woman kiss; a few instances of male/female making out; women are seen in revealing and/or tight/small attire; a young man is seen completely nude save for an object in the foreground of the shot that blocks a view of his crotch)... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. 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