Need To Know 2003-08-01

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"We got an e-mail last week from someone saying 'How did you find me? I used Peer Guardian' and he thought that would save him from our spiders. There is nowhere to hide..." - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/3104281.stm ...though, for Tom Cruise, submerging himself in a bath full of ice-water almost did the trick: http://www.stomptokyo.com/filmboy/extras/summer2002/minority.jpg >> HARD NEWS << och aye the EUs There's a bit in Dark Knight Returns where Harlan Ellison, appearing as a television pundit, calmly explains off-camera how we'll all "be eating our own *babies* for *breakfast*". For some reason, we always think of that cameo when reading ROSS ANDERSON's analysis of forthcoming laws. This year's horror: THE IP ENFORCEMENT DIRECTIVE, of which Ross paints a pretty picture. "Significant adverse effects on economic growth and innovations", he warns, "will undermine the European Single Market; and liberty will suffer in many ways". Sadly, he's not wrong: the Enforcement Directive seeks to turn all copyright-infringement in the course of doing business into a criminal act, EU-wide. EU prosecutors pursuing pirates (arr) will be able to seize bank accounts and do pre-emptive searches, and force companies to withdraw products at their own expense. In other words: more bullying of modders, and the criminalisation of even slight copyright infringement, from buskers to parody t-shirt sales. Or yet another example of how the EU is listening more to the corporations whispering in its ear than any of its inhabitants. The Enforcement comes before the EU parliament on the 11th September. A perfect date for adequate scrutiny and news coverage, of course. http://www.cl.cam.ac.uk/users/rja14/draftdir.html - "och, and zombies stalking the streeeeeeeets of London" http://www.sequentialellison.com/images1.html - of course, Ellison would be all for it... http://harlanellison.com/kick/kick_rls.htm - arr! http://www.broadbanduk.org/news/bsg_press_release_23_07_03.htm - either that, or p2p is broadband's real killer app Got a bit of spare time? Want to do something a bit worthy but find the folk at those big, bustling charities a bit ... well, creepy? FaxYourMP, our human->politician bridging service is looking for some new volunteers. OWEN BLACKER, who has been mostly handling constituent questions, and calming down MP's secreatries with his treacly words, is now more likely to be found authoring consultation documents, co-ordinating pressure groups, being quoted in the papers, and generally being a very important person. So much so that now we need a replacement Owen to do the dirty work. No money (unless you can work out a way to get some that doesn't make us Evil), not much coding (unless you find a script that makes your life easier), and not much glamour (unless you were born to sit in pubs and plot the rewiring of the British political system, then actually do something about it). Lots of hands-on techie experience with a high-profile Website, some nice people, and a few mails every day from shell-shocked citizens telling you how brilliant you are. Mail gizzajob@spesh.com and tell us CVish stuff. http://www.faxyourmp.com/ - read the faq! read the faq! Speculation remains rife over the nature of CHARLIE "TV GO HOME" BROOKER'S new project. Is it some sort of collaboration with fellow enfant terrible Chris Morris? And, as the BBC incisively predicted, might it turn out to be the long-awaited spinoff vehicle for the popular "Joey Tribbiani" character from "Friends"? Brooker himself declined to be interviewed for this story, but a spokesman did provide this statement on his behalf: "We've been doing experimental shooting for a television programme and/or knitwear pattern featuring people and objects, some of which move and some of which don't. Any further information will be provided to NTK in advance of other outlets. Although that won't happen for some time, and might turn out to be a lie." http://www.ntk.net/2003/08/01/dohnat.gif - whaddya mean, "not really been accurate"? http://tvgohome.com/ - not quite the Nathan Barley joke we'd been hoping for >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious nowadays, no gadget complete without "accidental on/off powering": http://www.ntk.net/2003/08/01/dohpod.gif ... so which one's Vladimir Lenin - and which one's Paul McCartney?: http://www.ntk.net/2003/08/01/dohdoom.gif ... James Stewart, John Travolta: http://www.ntk.net/2003/08/01/doharrow.gif - together at last!... 5-star user review from one "DFurby": http://www.novatech.co.uk/novatech/specpage.html?NOV-CCSP41 - is he by any chance related to David Furby, Novatech MD?: http://www.wired.com/news/print/0,1294,44284,00.html ... Sedgefield Labour Party get in on "Tony Bliar" t-shirt action: http://www.sedgefieldlabour.org.uk/cgi-bin/webbbs/staff_room.pl?read=5 ... unfortunate URLs: http://top40.about.com/cs/80shits/ , http://www.therapistfinder.com/ ... "Ream" your disk now: http://www.execsoft.co.uk/html/downloads/diskeeper/update.htm ... Lothian and Borders police deem body found in suitcase "suspicious": http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/3105845.stm ... a torso, yesterday: http://www.ntk.net/2003/08/01/dohtorso.gif ... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful In yet another opportunity to combine the words "Linux", "piss-up" and "brewery", next week's LONDON LINUX USER GROUP meeting will be held at THE GREAT BRITISH BEER FESTIVAL (from 5.30pm, Wed 2003-08-06, Badger Beer stand #17, Olympia, event entrance fee UKP6). Although the fixture is technically a "friendly", it's come to be considered vital "limbering up" practice for those who'll go on to represent their country at international level at the LINUXBIERWANDERUNG the following weekend (Sat 2003-08-09 to Sun 2003-08-17, in and around the village of Tajov, Slovakia, basically free though obviously you have to pay for accommodation, beer, etc). Check it out before SCO decide they've patented the idea of getting drunk, and/or walking. http://www.lonix.org.uk/tnet-cgi/Lonix?CODE=userMeetings - mmm: "Italian Focaccia Breads", "Olives and Things" http://lbw2003.anteus.hu/ - where a pint costs just 0.5 Euros (ie, about 35p) http://www.ccc.de/camp/2003/index.en.html - drop by Berlin's Chaos Communication Camp on the way >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering VIM reached 6.2 last month. It's a pretty boring version jump (unless you're worried about Bram's Amiga), but one of its additions - a new exception trapping mechanism - does rather hint as to what's been happening in the Vim community of late. Vim.org has been slowly transforming into a repository of serious, looong scripts. There's now a spellchecker plugin (which highlights misspelled words as you type); numerous file explorers; a calendar; an extension to make the '%' key bounce between not just brackets but HTML tags and shell conditionals. There's a Sokoban implementation and a full-colour Tetris. And for folk who actually work, there's a CVS menu, a dandy source browser, and a stack of online hints on how to use Vim's built-in arcana in real life. For an editor that's got such a user-unfriendly rep, the website is one the most generous deposits of deep app hacking around. And did we mention the Emacs emulator? http://www.vimacs.cx/about.html - well we have now http://www.vim.org/ - hooray for the super star http://macvim.swdev.org/OSX - now on Carbon >> MEMEPOOL << contains a source of http://snackspot.org/ if only he'd linked the time travel guy up with some Nigerian VCs: http://www.lindqvist.com/xpo/index.php?newID=1142 ... TV startlingly revealed to be "cruel and shallow money trench, [...] long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free": http://www.nameandshame.dsl.pipex.com/ , http://www.tvdregs.com/ ... http://www.scotlandonsunday.com/scotland.cfm?id=734812003 - PROF KEVIN WARWICK shelves implanted tagging device, cites "infringement of civil liberties" - ie, the imminent "Rise Of The Machines"?: http://www.ntk.net/2003/07/18/doht3.gif ... Bob Hope dead, Tarzan's Cheeta alive and well in Palm Springs, California: http://freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/912885/posts ... "Use of rock as an opening move is seen by many players to be a sign of aggression": http://www.worldrps.com/gbasics.html ... when audiophiles are attacked - in spoof hifi reviews: http://www.audioreview.com/DACs/Arcam,Black,BoX,,500/PRD_116784_2738crx.aspx ... geek health week 3: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/3104093.stm - but if you don't wear one, what do you use to mop up the mess from weeks 1 and 2?... >> GEEK MEDIA << get out less TV>> usually shown just as we're sending out NTK, RESCUE ROBOTS (4pm, Fri, ITV) is "Thunderbirds" from the makers of "Robot Wars" - and seems to have single-sex teams to prevent the disagreements from getting even more fractious?... croc nonsense LAKE PLACID (9.30pm, Sat, BBC1) has its moments, but it's no "Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course"... leaving both the weekend's best films to be shown after midnight, in the form of CARRY ON SCREAMING! (12.15am, Sat, ITV) and John Dahl poker nailbiter ROUNDERS (1.05am, Sat, C4)... a robot shark is utilised to film SMART SHARKS - SWIMMING WITH ROBOSHARK (8pm, Sun, BBC1)... a robot Bronte sister is used to record the 19th century novelists in their natural habitat in WALKING WITH BRONTES (7pm, Sun, BBC1)... and WHAT IF (10pm, Mon, BBC4) ponders a parallel reality where the Major/ Currie affair had come to light earlier - as opposed to the truly interesting alternate universes, like the one where picking your nose is a sign of intellectual activity... C4 cashes in on the recent "School Disco" craze with 1950s throwback THAT'LL TEACH THEM (9pm, Tue, C4), plus another "oh how shocking" series of TEACHERS (10pm, Wed, C4)... a new kind of property programme captures the changing mood of the market in HOUSE TRAPPED (8pm, Tue, C4)... the smart answer is of course "the telly" to rhetorical facial reconstruction docu WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT? (9pm, Wed, BBC2)... and Adam Hart Davis tries to walk on water in a new series of SCIENCE SHACK (7.30pm, Thu, BBC2) - hey, any excuse to link to http://www.antics.org.uk/memes.htm ... FILM>> it starts with a few good jokes, has a better car chase than Matrix Reloaded, then takes a quite unexpected direction altogether - 3 cybernetic thumbs up for TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES ( http://www.cndb.com/ : Yes, the Terminators show up naked [both Kristanna and Arnold], but their butts are covered in heavy shadows and you don't see any crack. Also, Kristanna's breasts are covered by her hair, and you certainly don't see her crotch)... female characters continue to hand out various varieties of ass-kicking in this week's other offerings, including Joel "Batman Forever" Schumacher's based- on-a-true-story Irish journalist drama VERONICA GUERIN (imdb: biographical/ ireland/ murder/ reporter)... Sly Stallone *is* the Master Control Program in substandard CGI sequel SPY KIDS 3: GAME OVER (imdb: 3d-sequel-to-flat-movie/ kid/ sequel/ spy/ villain/ virtual-reality/ wheelchair/ actor-playing-multiple- roles)... while "not tested on animals" is the claim of the appallingly-cruel-to-human-beings XX-comedy LEGALLY BLONDE 2 ( http://www.ahafilm.info/movies/moviereviews.phtml?fid=7518 : Mooney was propped up on the passenger seat atop a flat platform covered in a mountain of pillows, meticulously placed for Mooney's comfort; in a touching moment, Bruiser is finally reunited with his biological mother [...] they sweetly lick each other and frolic on the grass)... RED BOOK AUDIO>> original soundalikes of the month: Billy Bragg/ Half Man Half Biscuit/ Cake hybrids MJ HIBBETT AND THE VALIDATORS are back with new concept CD "This Is Not A Library" (the concept appearing to be working the phrase "This Is Not A Library" into every other song), and a Spectrum-themed sample site which doesn't have the best track off the album "Things'll Be Different When I'm In Charge". But, in a bid to recapture the popularity of their previous "Hey Hey 16K" hit, it does include the astutely observed "Programming Is A Poetry For Our Time" - "I reckon Byron would see/ The irony/ Of writing words to change the world that we/ Can't live without but no-one ever sees": http://www.mjhibbett.com/sampler/ (you might catch Hibbett on Steve Lamacq, 3pm, BBC 6Music, today) ... when not engaging in (largely unprovoked?) defences of Yes frontman Jon Anderson on the frankly horrifying Friday Thing blog http://www.hangingday.co.uk/archives/000515.shtml , ALAN CONNOR found time to muse "Surely I'm not the only reader fond enough of Cpt Sensible's 'Glad It's All Over' to note its similarity to Track #7 on Yo La Tengo's new CD?", adding, "While we're at it, Travis's track for the War Child CD ('The Beautiful Occupation') is all very well, but it's making me want to dig out my C90s of Suzanne Vega LPs to listen to 'Fancy poultry'". Now you're scaring us, Alan - though you've got to admit Evanescence's chart-topper "Bring Me To Life" http://www.merqurycity.com/ssxtricky/coolstuff/musicvideo.html is a dead ringer for '80s technogoths Curve covering Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"?... over in adverts, STUBRUISE alleged "The Walkers Oriental Crackers ad sounds rather like Sleeper's 'What Do I Do Know?'", as LEO CARROLL fumed that track 2 ("Prologo") of the new Air album "City Reading" ("an Italian author, reading his work, in Italian, to Air") "sounds exactly the same as those [fricking] Nestle bank robbers in the Deep South vs grizzled old marshal ads". But SIMON CARLESS confessed that the "Andrew WK-ripped-off soundtrack" he'd identified in a US KitKat ad [NTK 2003-04-25] is, in fact, by Andrew WK: http://www.audibleimagesrecording.com/clients.html . He then tried to get back in our good books by finding out that "German kiddie-rave demigods" Scooter seem to have a KLF obsession http://www.mono211.com/ffwd/archives/000106.html ; their own tribute band, Moped http://www.diffusiononline.net/ ; plus a "cheesy trance cover of a Chris Huelsbeck 'Turrican' (classic Amiga side-scrolling shooter!) tune" on their latest CD. OK, Simon, we forgive you - it sounds like you've suffered enough... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "above '2nd in Dublin Feis Senior Piano Solo competition'" http://www.maths.tcd.ie/~icecube/cgi-bin/index.php?page=cv NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? 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