"The findings [...] present an image of the average Netizen
that contrasts with the stereotype of the loner 'geek' who
spends hours of his free time on the Internet and rarely
engages with the real world. Instead, the typical Internet
user is an avid reader of books..."
http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s1025533.htm
...that's *both* kinds of books, mind: Harry Potter
*and* Lord of The Rings
>> HARD NEWS <<
who's who's?
TRUE NAMES was a great story, but it did get some things
wrong about the future. For one thing, in our universe
naming systems and truth seem mutually exclusive. Take, for
instance, .NAME - the TLD which, in some weird meta-manner,
allowed people to reserve their real names online - like
craig.shergold.name. The supervising NIC (whose name, in
another meta twist, is Dot Name) were very determined .names
could only be sold to their bona fide eponymous purchasers.
Second-level domains were completely off limits, so no
madonna.name. Strange to say, these cumbersome .name's didn't
sell so well, so Dot Name has now switched to selling the
second-level domains, like (hitler.name, say) to anyone who
asks. And so as the market in one restrictive TLD collapses,
the traditional liberal TLDs seem to be getting crankier:
the NIC of CX just suspended Internet institution GOATSE.CX,
ripping that site a new a-hole for painfully breaching its
terms and conditions. It's not often you hear of a domain
registrar suspending a domain for being beyond taste and
decency. Especially not .cx, whose registration database NTK
had the pleasure of sharing a box with back in its more
carefree days. Believe us, goatse.cx may not have been the
prettiest, but it was certainly one of the more demurely
named .cx domains. I wonder if all those sex sites will be
suspended too?
http://www.name/
- wonder if we can get dot.name.name?
http://www.goatse.cx/
- you know, one day they'll get the domain back
http://www.metafilter.com/mefi/30757
- and then we'll be sorry we ever linked to it
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1471040
- safe for local newspapers version
We always like to hear of little projects our regular
contributors are dabbling with, so it's great to hear about
subscriber CRAIG LEFF, who has just managed to put some
kind of dune-buggy thing on Mars. We can't see him in
any of these photos, so presumably he's in charge of
operating the camera or something. But, you know, the little
people are just as important. Mr Leff, we salute you and
your martian robotic overlord.
http://mars.telascience.org/acknowledgements
- QA? Well, any classified doh screenshots you have, just send 'em right along
Talking of little projects, heartening to hear that legal
geeks at Oxford have announced that they're porting the
Creative Commons license to UK law. We're not sure exactly
what this involves (short of globally searching and
replacing "fair use" with "fair dealing") and what it all
means - does this mean CC'd stuff isn't really free under UK
law? What about the GPL? Have we been pirating Mr Stallman's
good work all this time? Will any new EUCD laws
criminalising commercial copyright infringement compel the
police to lock up anyone downloading gcc? IANAL, natch.
http://creativecommons.org/projects/international/uk/
- if YAAL, however, write in and let us know
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
ALL CAPS transcript of "Self Help for Hard of Hearing" keynote
speech: http://members.tripod.com/~TommieGee/essay.htm ...
New Mayor's first order of business - must fix CAPS LOCK key:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2352003025
... Dabs.com presents - the router you can use as a desk!:
http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/16/dohrout.gif ... fashion we can
all afford: http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/16/dohphat.gif ... the
4-D hyper-acre: http://www.ntk.net/2003/12/05/dohacre.gif ...
Sky gets into that whole "time just another dimension" theory:
http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/16/dohlion.gif ... all-new Google
goofs: wigspan, "typograhical error", "Microsoft Frotpage",
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Microsoft+admits%22 , the
popular http://www.google.com/search?q=phone+%22mast+debate%22
- plus the "grey gamers" phenomenon not just a media construct:
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22saga+dreamcast%22 ... Osama
knows: http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/16/dohtop.gif ... please
excuse wobbly encircling: http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/16/dohblow.gif
... beat the rush: http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/16/dohshack.gif ...
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
GOTOs considered non-harmful
A *really* uninterruptible power supply (and "hardened"
Ethernet?) are among the attractions at this year's G2K4
NUCLEAR BUNKER LAN PARTY (from Fri 5.30pm, 2004-01-30,
Kelvedon Hatch Secret Subterranean Regional Government HQ,
Essex, just UKP25.00 if you prebook before Jan 22nd, UKP30 on
the door). The venue's official site enticingly describes it
as "currently the biggest and deepest cold war bunker open to
the public in southeast England" - a reminder that normal
punters often continue to tour the facility during the course
of the event, adding the possibility of a couple of rounds of
"Scaring The Straights" to the usual LAN party activities.
http://gamesmeet.darkspace.org.uk/cgi-bin/gwi?mode=page&pg=g2k4
- "When you hear the air attack warning..."
http://www.system-override.com/kelvedonhatch/index2.htm
- "...you and your family must install Castle Wolfenstein"
http://www.sci-fi-london.com/2004web/movies/dnadebate.htm
- damn, we've got a "thing" that Saturday afternoon
>> TRACKING <<
sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering
DODGEIT lets you check the incoming mail for any address
@dodgeit.com - and provides an RSS feed for the same. Mails
show up on a Webpage, but are deleted after a few hours. It
takes you a while to wrap your head around the potential
applications for this service, which is sort of the exact
opposite of hushmail. Anyone can see the email address, and
no-one (including you) needs to set it up in advance. Use it
for throwaway email addresses when registering at new sites
(without having to register for throwaway email addresses
elsewhere). Point all your announce-lists subscriptions to
it, taking them out of your inbox and into your RSS
newsreader. Point people to the feed - instant mailable
blog. Or a throwaway forum. Or a handy group mail alias. The
possibilities aren't, as it happens, endless - but we
couldn't stop thinking of them anyway.
http://www.mailinator.com/
- the original throwaway mail address
http://www.bloglines.com/
- bloglines has a more secure RSS feed mail option if that is your bag
>> MEMEPOOL <<
contains a source of http://snackspot.org/
written by the victors: http://www.mark-shea.com/LOTR.html vs
http://www.typewriter.org.uk/unsorted/morplan.png ... might
make a great astroturf campaign on behalf of London Underground:
http://www.theoystercard.co.uk/ ... when testdata attacks #202:
http://www.informationweek.com/story/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=17000138 ...
http://www.disgruntled.com/ vs http://www.ouwho.co.uk/study/i100.htm
... "Cybercafe construction" guide imitates those bits in The
Onion: http://www.cybercafechecklist.com/construction.html ...
see if you can guess what "can really bring joy", and make
"a child's eyes light up when he or she receives a new toy":
http://www.bm-bikershop.com/extremely_high_fps_airsoft_sniper_rifle.htm
... http://web.archive.org/web/20030610205212/http://www.letsallgeton.gov.uk/
too successful - net now full: http://www.letsallgeton.gov.uk/
... Stuart Campbell vs his oldest, greatest enemy - Kick Off:
http://forum.championshipsoccer.net/viewtopic.php?t=208 ...
"I'm radioactive!": http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/
... New Zealand just as sparsely populated as you'd thought:
http://www.duffus.com/new_zealand_telephone_directory.htm ...
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> "teenagers behaving badly" weekend starts with Dirty
Harry telling off some young whippersnappers who shoot
criminals before he can get to them with his MAGNUM FORCE
(9.05pm, Sat, C5) - followed by high-school scifi action in
bodysnatcher homage THE FACULTY (11pm, Sat, BBC1) plus dire
videogame adaptation WING COMMANDER (12.40am, Sat, BBC1)...
Robert Carlyle shows up in the overrated TRAINSPOTTING
(10.30pm, Sun, C4) and uneven cannibal prequel RAVENOUS
(11.45pm, Sat, BBC2)... yet not even the patron saint of
adolescent gross-out, Seann William Scott, can salvage the
frankly indefensible DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR? (9pm, Sun, C4)...
Bill Paxton season goes from MIGHTY JOE YOUNG (5.55pm, Sun,
C5) to A SIMPLE PLAN (11.15pm, Mon, BBC1)... Chris O'Donnell
night includes BATMAN FOREVER (8pm, Sun, C5) and SCENT OF A
WOMAN (11.15pm, Sun, ITV)... but both combine in the climactic
rock-climbing nonsense VERTICAL LIMIT (8pm, Thu, C5)... THIS
WORLD: FOOTBALL AND FREEDOM (9pm, Sun, BBC2) is a South
African soccer remake of basketball docu "Hoop Dreams"... a
less upbeat view of sport is explored in the original ultra-
violent ROLLERBALL (12midnight, Sun, BBC1)... and SCAMBUSTERS
(8pm, Wed, BBC1) tackles Canadian lottery "wins" and - tee-
hee! - maybe replies to 419 Nigerians?... HORIZON (9pm, Thu,
BBC2) catches up with this hot new "Atkins diet"... it's Kevin
Warwick vs Jeremy Clarkson in THE COMPUTER: INVENTIONS THAT
CHANGED THE WORLD (8pm, Thu, BBC2)... while Larry "M*A*S*H"
Gelbart wrote star-studded above-average made-for-TV media
satire WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRACTION (12.20am, Thu, BBC1)...
FILM>> it's all "12A", all the time this week, with John Woo
toning down the 18-certificate violence of "Face/Off" for
modern-day reverse-engineering Philip K Dick adaptation
PAYCHECK ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/paycheck.htm :
technology espionage/piracy; excessive [Uma Thurman] cleavage;
dress threatening to expose the pubic hair line; recklessness
in traffic, repeatedly, once narrowly avoiding being hit by a
bus)... better than "Waiting for Guffman", but no "Spinal Tap"
or "Best In Show", harmonises folk music mockumentary A MIGHTY
WIND ( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2003/a_mighty_wind.html :
A PR woman shows some cleavage; [Catherine O'Hara's] husband
has built a miniature railroad town that includes a brothel
that he points out - we see a small, doll figure through the
window that's supposed to represent a prostitute)... or -
together at last - it's "professional videogamer" John Cusack,
Gene Hackman, Dustin Hoffman, Rachel Weisz and Jennifer
"Flashdance" Beals in John Grisham courtroom caper RUNAWAY
JURY ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/runawayjury.htm :
definitely written by anti-gun activists and by folks who
clearly support government control of the people; guns,
bananas, cars and pillows don't kill people. People kill
people; advocates of abolishing guns were portrayed as law-
abiding, responsible, intelligent and mature citizens)...
RED BOOK AUDIO>> so is it just us, or does the Kill Bill
trailer music (as heard in 2003's best bootleg, Hotei Tomoyasu
Vs Eminem: http://www.jonnyboyrevel.co.uk/pages/disc.htm )
sound almost exactly like the theme from "Thundercats"? And
while we're at it: The Prodigy's "Smack My Bitch Up" - isn't
that the same drum pattern that then appears on "Remind Me" by
Royksopp: http://www.ntk.net/2004/01/16/SmackMyRoyksOpp.mp3 ?
(1.8 meg mp3, also contains 5-to-the-floor bonus beats of
"Holst: The Planets" vs "Mission: Impossible"). Still, some
soundalikes do have their up side - reader ANDREW MORLEY
suggested his own ingenious solution to the "corrupt CD"
controversy http://ukcdr.org/issues/cd/bad/#uk , with this tip
for those trying to bypass the copy protection on the new Dido
album, "Life For Rent": "Don't bother", Andrew succinctly
advises. "Simply rip the previous Dido CD again - it sounds
exactly the same"... in more original compositions: we appear
to be risking all-out interci-ian annihilation by printing the
name of contributor IAN MILLER name for the second time in 4
years http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?b=01999-04-09&l=288#l , but
his link to this clumsily housed-up general-MIDI TV-theme was
worth it: http://www.ljkruzer.co.uk/mp3/ . JIM JARMO humbly
alerted us to his own "cack-handedly-produced" (his words, not
ours) techno-filks at http://www.headpaste.com/ (imagine an
inexplicably well-spoken Mike "The Streets" Skinner), while
Guardian "Bad Science" correspondent DR BEN GOLDACRE thought
we might enjoy Death By Chocolate's "The Land Of Chocolate":
http://www.jetsetrecords.com/mp3s/death_by_chocolate/choc.mp3
- entirely correctly, as it turned out... which just leaves the
matter of advert soundalikes, with the Wilkinson Sword Quatro
TV campaign resembling The Violent Femmes' "Blister In The
Sun" so closely that we're almost embarrassed to mention it.
Still, following the Guardian Guide's speculation that all of
Evanescence's songs (but especially "Bring Me To Life") sound
like they've been written specifically to accompany sanitary
protection ads - plus the recent use of use of Belinda
Carlisle's "Heaven Is A Place On Earth" to promote Haven
holiday camps (surely "Devon Is A Place On Earth" would be
more appropriate?) - you're also invited to suggest other
songs that would be "just right" for TV ads (and not just
those for the South-West of England). To start off, how about
Busted's debut single with just a minor lyrical modification:
"(That's) What I Go To Poole For"...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
Registered at the Post Office as
"an exemplar of best practice in the involvement of young people"
http://www.cimex.com/html/site/com/com_news/174.html
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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