"At Microsoft there are lots of brilliant ideas but the
image is that they all come from the top - I'm afraid that's
not quite right but fortunately there are plenty that are
coming..."
...FROM OUTSIDE MICROSOFT
- BILL GATES, "thinking outside the X-Box"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/club/your_reports/newsid_1697000/1697132.stm
>> HARD NEWS <<
warrants for you
Cast your minds back to February: the Wonderland case is in
all the papers; Carol Vordeman and ZDNet are campaigning to
get ISPs to control their filthy ways. Under pressure, DEMON
breaks its own anti-censorship tradition, and announces that
newsgroups will be removed from the newsfeed "to protect the
vulnerable and to increase our vigilance". Weeeell, it
turns out that some people were being vigilant already.
With their stream of evidence abruptly cut off, police
investigators monitoring the newsgroups are not best
pleased. They turn up at Demon HQ intending to seize the
ISP's entire newsserver network. After some gentle panicking
compromise is reached: Demon sets up a PC next door to
news.news.demon.net, reinstates the newsgroups, and peers
the spool across. (Which, you know, the cops could probably
have obtained with a phone call: but that's by the by.)
Cut to last week's weirdo press release [NTK 2001-11-30].
Suddenly it all becomes clear: the NCS, eager to clear
things up, puts out the conciliatory message that Demon have
been very helpful with enquiries. A bit too helpful,
unfortunately: misunderstanding the politics, NCS happily
tells everyone that Demon handed over their entire server,
logs and all. Now, Demon can't exactly tell the full story -
and reassure the world that no private information was
released - without showing up both the police for acting
impetuously, and themselves for putting an investigation at
risk. And neither group can publically admit to the one
truth in this mess: that those namby-pamby anti-censorship
arguments that Cliff Stanford, old time staff, and Demon's
own users gave turned out to be perfectly true. It *is*
better to have it out in the open, where the police can
track it. And you can't cure everything with one
poorly-considered Vordeman-pandering press release. Or two.
http://www.ntk.net/2001/11/30/#HARD_NEWS
- original story
http://news.zdnet.co.uk/story/0,,t269-s2084582,00.html
- Demon eliminates child porn by ignoring it
http://www.nationalcrimesquad.police.uk/Hot_off_the_press/2001/November/122.html
- Spindler manages to rail against newsgroups, despite depending on them
Last week two Japanese students were arrested for sharing
copyrighted files via WinMX. Japanese law, rather uniquely,
states that if you merely "place a copyrighted work in such
a state as it can be transmitted without authorisation", you
can be prosecuted for infringing copyright. The two
students, from the cities of Tokyo and Saitama, shared
around 2400 files, and got nabbed because of the warez
nature of their goods: Adobe Photoshop, Visual C++, the
rather nice Ichitaro wordprocessor. Given the precedent for
prosecuting software pirates the world over (one of the
largest warez bbs cases is just finishing up in the US right
now), it's a lot easier to go after those sharing apps than
music. But it won't be long before the net widens: indeed,
ZDNet Japan reports that one of the students raised
suspicion because of the large numbers of MP3s he was
sharing. Ah, Japan: "the global imagination's default
setting for the future", as Mr Gibson has it. Let's hope
there's still time to mess with the Control Panel before it
installs here.
http://www.accsjp.or.jp/news/011128e.html
- they said "penal"
http://boingboing.net/2001_11_01_archive.html#7539331
- tip of the beanie to the old skool boingboing posse
Another year, another dumb attempt to create a totally new
namespace instead of trying to make more intelligent use of
the existing one. At least two NTK readers expressed
scepticism this week over JINI SEARCH, the revolutionary IE
plugin where you "just type the brand, company or product name
directly into the address line of your Internet Explorer
browser and go straight to the specific page" - replicating
almost exactly what IE usually tries to do anyway. The
impossible-to-find-anything site provides further reassurance:
"Approximately a 30 second download !!!! PLEASE READ TERMS AND
CONDITIONS!!!!" - conditions which naturally include: "5.1.4
by registering or using the Keyword (in what ever manner) you
will not knowingly infringe the intellectual property rights
of a third party". Typing, say, "BBC" into a Jini-ed copy of
IE takes you straight to http://www.possessiondirect.co.uk/ ,
who, handily enough, just happen to be "specialists in
assisting landlords regain possession from unwanted tenants
[...] at a truly exceptional price".
http://www.jsearch.co.uk/html2/jinikeywords.htm
- no relation to Sun's "where is it now?" Java network tech
http://www.jinionline.co.uk/templates/template%202/
- "fuiegwiufgihe gwfuigeiwufiuehwifu uhgewifhuiew woihfow"
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbc.com/images/
- adding Boston Business Computing's distinctiveness to our own...
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
ALEC GUINNESS' CBE links to "tyrannical regime" of THE EMPIRE:
http://www.starwars.com/bio/siralecguinness.html - is the
Queen Mother "more machine now, than man"?... LOVE - in an
elevator: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/011205/80/ckin0.html ...
surreal GRAUNIAD "reality check" features "Detectives from the
sheriff's hat": http://www.ntk.net/2001/12/07/dohgraun.gif ...
FT moves into world of nightmarishly disturbing illustrations:
http://specials.ft.com/creativebusiness/FT3XAQN4RUC.html ...
BBC more influenced by cinematic allusions to "Pulp Fiction":
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_1690000/1690033.stm
... FAB, Lewis: http://www.ntk.net/2001/12/07/dohmorse.gif ...
"We has not had English pages, already": http://www.akira.jp/
vs "To be elegant queen!! You have five different colors of
frends": http://samsungelectronics.com/mobile_phone/index.asp
..."We could do it in -": http://www.google.com/search?q=dobly
..."non-critical safety functions" are a different matter:
http://www.ntk.net/2001/12/07/dohfail.gif ... clue's in the
image name: http://www.adobe.co.uk/special/illustratorcomp/
... source of http://www.infosec.co.uk/page.cfm has more than
50 "web bugs" at the end - annoying if your secure browsing
includes individually accepting each cookie... great for
bedtime stories: http://www.ntk.net/2001/12/07/dohbed.gif ...
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
goto's considered non-harmful
Of course, our usual disclaimers apply to anything which
involves identifying yourself both as a terrorist and,
potentially more embarrassingly, as an "electrohippy".
Nonetheless, if you want to make a token protest against the
"war on terrorism (and/or those pesky civil liberties which
make today's intricately interlinked industrial societies so
irritatingly vulnerable to sabotage)", the ANTI-TWAT CAMPAIGN
are continuing to hold would-be denial-of-service "sit-ins" at
the Home Office website next Mon and Tue 2001-12-10 & 11 -
plus a special action when the current Anti-Terrorism,
Security and Crime Bill becomes law. Basically it's the same
Javascript repeated-reload "attack" used by the pro-Zapatista
Electronic Disturbance Theater back in 1998, though this time
you're encouraged to register with the Home Office as a
potential terrorist cybercriminal beforehand - like you're not
on their "known subversives" database already.
http://www.fraw.org.uk/ehippies/action/twat_brief.html
- vs http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/6/23255.html
http://www.ntk.net/index.cgi?back=1998/now0123.txt&line=161#l
- no good will ever come from Javascript
http://www.ri.ac.uk/Christmas/details2001.html
- this year at the Royal Institution: What Am I? Where's Kevin?
>> TRACKING <<
sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering
Ade Ward's FINDER MAIL takes the very sensible attitude that
your Mac OS 9 machine has already got enough freaking
interface, ta thank you. Instead of confusing matters with
yet another email client, it grabs your mail from a POP
server, converts it into separate plain text files, and
dumps them all into a selectable directory. After that, your
mail reading is done with the Finder. The more one thinks
about this, the more sense it makes. Worries about losing
mail are now a fractional subset of worries about trashing
the whole hard drive. Double-clicking on the files kicks up
a mini-editor which lets you reply and send. Copying and
sorting files is just drag and click territory. You want
mail folders? Well, what's wrong with *real* folders?
Search? See Sherlock. Filters? At last, a use for
Applescript! MIME attachments? Who cares? As our
correspondent says, it's mh for Mac.
http://www.signwave.co.uk/products/FinderMail/
- just saying that makes us feel empty
http://area51.upsu.plym.ac.uk/~adrian/gallery-of-a-crap-computer/
- not a man who lets Finder get off easily
>> MEMEPOOL <<
the warm bit behind the http://www.gagpipe.com/
TVGoHome at the Movies: http://www.finemanfilms.com/cgi-bin/moviedb.cgi
... supernatural computing: http://www.phobe.com/yeti/ ,
http://users.bestweb.net/~bennetc/holistic ... Jesus Christ:
http://www.answersingenesis.org/AfterEden/AE_Pages/ae6-4-2001.asp
... this week's Shockwave game - a Class One laser product:
http://www.input-entertainment.de/laser/laser.html ... it's
the mythical "good" flash intro: http://www.fakepilot.com/ ...
new thrill! CHRIS MORRIS at large - in "Trench Coat Mafia":
http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial4/littleton/4.htm ... at the BBC:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/middle_east/newsid_1694000/1694035.stm
... brandy only consumed by Hungarian Vlach Gypsies "first
thing in the morning, in the middle of the night at a funeral
and by women prior to a rubbish-scavenging trip", drunkenly
reveals: http://www.sirc.org/publik/ptpchap6.html ... new
LIGHTHOUSE FAMILY song is "theme from Film 2001"... who is the
SHORTEST LINK #2: http://shorterlink.com/ vs http://qwer.org/
... Segway "not what people want", says SINCLAIR, who should
know: http://www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99991636
... PJ Harvey beats Madonna in poll - picture editor unmoved:
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/011203/80/ck83e.html ... NTL and
Freeserve now blocking broadband access to AUDIOGALAXY... you
see, http://theinternet.com really *does* run on APACHE...
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> THE PRIVATE LIFE OF A MASTERPIECE (7.25pm, Sat, BBC2)
looks at Edvard Munch's "The Scream", with contributions from
postmodern horror movie fans and, hopefully, Rolf Harris...
Bruce Willis rivals Val "The Saint" Kilmer's repertoire of
comedy accent/wig combinations in hilariously poor remote-
controlled machine gun remake THE JACKAL (9.30pm, Sat, BBC1)
... the "I Love" series grinds to a halt with I LOVE TOP OF
THE POPS (9.25pm, Sat, BBC2), to return next year with "I Love
The Wry Observations Of Stuart Maconie"... and C4 presents a
"point-counterpoint" examination of firearms in society with
LETHAL WEAPONS: INSIDE BRITAIN'S GUN CULTURE (8.05pm, Sat, C4)
followed later that evening by John Woo's ultraviolent shoot-
em-up HARD-BOILED (1.05am, Sat, C4)... autistic abattoir
designer Temple Grandin is profiled in a FIRST PERSON (7.30pm,
Sun, C4) directed by Errol "Fast, Cheap And Out Of Control"
Morris... WITNESS (9pm, Sun, C4) apparently fails to question
the "electronic voice" phenomenon of people hearing "ghosts"
in recorded static... and Sarah Michelle Gellar and Jennifer
Love Hewitt remain inexplicably clothed throughout most of
archetypal neo-slasher I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (10pm,
Sun, C4)... post-apocalyptic Don Johnson punfest A BOY AND HIS
DOG is shunted off to the prestigious 2.05am, Mon, C4 slot,
leaving primetime to the dubious delights of BRAM STOKER'S
DRACULA (10pm, Mon, C4), dire Leslie Nielsen/ Mel Brooks spoof
DRACULA: DEAD AND LOVING IT (10pm, Tue, C4), plus Jean-Claude
Van Damme as a counterfeit fashion designer - believe it! - in
KNOCK OFF (9pm, Mon, C5)... Louis Theroux doesn't even have to
pretend he's out of his depth when serious sexual allegations
arise in WHEN LOUIS MET THE HAMILTONS (9pm, Tue, BBC2)...
NTK's Dave Green maintains he was "really very drunk" while
opposing net censorship on this week's TABOO (9.50pm, Wed,
BBC2)... and C4's popular "When Gravity Attacks" strand
explains HOW THE TWIN TOWERS COLLAPSED (9pm, Thu, C4),
hopefully addressing the issue of why no-one seemed to have
even the faintest suspicion that they might fall over...
FILM>> the dumping of local product in the wake of "Harry
Potter" continues, with Samuel L Jackson and the cast of "The
Full Monty" - together at last! - in a look at the lighter
side of designer drug deaths in Brit gangster beat-em-up THE
51ST STATE (http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : rated "18" for very
strong language, drugs references and violence) - and not, it
appears, based on the chorus of the song "Heartland" by The
The... sadly, Tom Green doesn't even cameo in Drew Barrymore's
"Teen Mother And A Baby" feelgooder RIDING IN CARS WITH BOYS
(http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ridingincarswithboys.htm :
flatulence; wild necking; sex poem; young girls pretending to
participate in love-making with open mouth kissing; 6 uses of
God's name in vain without the four letter expletive; teen sex
in a car - genitals unseen)... also for the ladies, perhaps
not as much swearing - or authentic Glaswegian accents - as
you'd expect from Helena "Planet Of The Apes" Bonham Carter
and Gina "Brass Eye" McKee in female buddy-movie WOMEN TALKING
DIRTY (http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ : rated "15" for strong language
and sex references)... and a slightly puzzling use of "The
Movie" in the title of the animated A CHRISTMAS CAROL: THE
MOVIE (imdb: based-on-novel/ ghost/ redemption/ victorian-era/
compassion), given that there's already been at least 10 film
versions of the book, not including such classics as "The
Muppet Christmas Carol" (1992), "The Jetsons Christmas Carol"
(1985), or Bill Murray's "Scrooged" (1988)...
DRESS DOWN FRIDAY>> Attention all Europeans! Christmas is
officially uncancelled, because the black ADMINSPOTTING shirts
are back - albeit in a new version with the "Choose no life.
Choose to sysadmin" spiel on the front instead. Plus we've
imported a limited number of DEMOTIVATORS CALENDARS 2002 from
http://www.despair.com/ to drag down morale in your office
throughout the next 12 months - order by next Wednesday (or
the week after in the UK) via http://www.ntkmart.com/ to
ensure probable pre-Christmas delivery... new designs continue
to oscillate between the more straightforward parodies - eg,
reader JONG's implementation of the old "AT/DT" idea we were
kicking around: http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/images/atdt.jpg ,
and BEN CURTHOYS' http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/images/bar.jpg -
right the way through to rather more personal demon-wrestling,
as we suspect is the case with the contribution of DAVID HUNT,
a self-confessed "computer games programmer" who "hates
HaCkErZ": http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/images/hackerz.jpg , and
indeed LOFTY's http://www.geekstyle.co.uk/images/lofty.txt ...
of course, even if your graphic design skills aren't up to
these rigorous standards, you can always send us a text slogan
instead, as demonstrated this month by CAMILO MESIAS ("Error
404: /shirt/tie Not Found"), several anonymous contributors
("Will Lie For Sex", "Intercal programmers do it the hard way"
and "HP calculator programmers in reverse Polish notation it
do"), and DUNCAN MARTIN who, in tribute to those "who find NTK
operates at the edge of their understanding", proposed our
email logo with the shampoo-ad-style warning: "Here comes the
ASCII art: concentrate"... as ever, if we use one of your
designs, you (or a charity of your choice) will get a royalty
for each one we sell, which has this year raised UKP168 for
SIGHTSAVERS INTERNATIONAL http://www.sandywhite.fsnet.co.uk/ ,
UKP336 for the only mildly sinister-sounding ALLIANCE FOR
CHILDHOOD http://www.allianceforchildhood.net/ (nominated by
Jonathan "Adminspotting" Chin), and a startling UKP920 (+VAT)
for THE REDUNDANT TECHNOLOGY INITIATIVE http://www.lowtech.org
(nominated by Modesty "Elite" B Catt), which they intend to
spend on a "European Union audit" which they previously had
"no idea" how they were going to pay for. Keep, as they say,
them coming, and - whether you designed a shirt, bought one,
or just kept sending us increasingly obscure and/or obscene
programming slogans - God bless you, every one...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
Registered at the Post Office as
"yo Chuck, you think we're gonna sell out?"
"I say if we do, then we get the hell out"
http://www.msn.co.uk/exredir.asp?STARTID=bjd_hm&URL=http://www.ntk.net
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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