"AOL reported that the number of AOL subscribers in the US
fell by 2.2m in 2003, from 26.5m at the end of 2002 to 24.3m
at the end of 2003. AOL blames the decline on an exodus of
punters from its service..."
- http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/22/36278.html
...yup, that might have a thing or two to do with it
>> HARD NEWS <<
no "why do you...'s"?
The BBC, The Register, New Scientist and all fell over
themselves this week to promote "NannieBots", a set of
"self-replicating" bots to fight chatroom "grooming". These
bots, relays their master Jim Wightman, guard kids'
chatrooms from predators, and "behave like humans, sound
like humans... but with one massive difference - they never
sleep". The idea of handing over your kids' safety to Eliza
the Psychiatrist may not be that reassuring. But don't worry
- these bots use "neural networks" to become "the most
advanced artificial intelligence in the world"! Looking
through the transcript of a NannieBot/Human interaction in
New Scientist, maybe he's right. Certainly this "IT
consultant from Wolverhampton in the West Midlands" has
either managed the greatest step forward in Artificial
Intelligence since Marvin Minsky scraped a pass in the
Turing Test - or this was a very carefully rigged demo. In
the transcript given, NannieBot seems to be able to make
logical deductions, parse colloquial English, correctly
choose the correct moment to scan a database of UK national
holidays, comment on the relative qualities of the Robocop
series, and divine the nature of pancakes and pancake day.
We look forward to the NannieBot sweeping the board at this
year's Loebner Prize. Either that, or journalists to stop
suspending their disbelief whenever someone starts waving
a paedophile on a string.
http://www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99994783#bot
- extraordinary claims: meet extraordinary evidence
http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/4/36381.html
- "plausible... would welcome financial support"
Make $$$ with $ocial $oftware! Money-for-public-good-hackers
fundraiser MySociety have at last addressed their "not actually
having any money" hindrance by scoring a cool UKP250,000 from
the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister's "e-Innovations"
initiative this week. That means that the five projects you
may have argued for look like they could be funded to
completion. The money *is* trickling down through the filter
of a West Sussex County Council partnership, which may make
things more complex (for instance, as well as the MySociety
projects, the money will go on "a centre of excellence for
the continued development and maintenance of community
engagement online solutions" - although that could just be
govtalk for a wiki). Whatever - it's got to be better than
the half-a-teabreak EDS would have spent the government cash
on. Also interesting are the other initiatives that got
spondoolicks: a wifi network for CCTV's in Westminster (500K
UKP), Rossendale, Lancs' stab at moving to open source
software (500K UKP), and a Newham project to create an open
source implementation of TV over IP (460K UKP). Looking
forward to seeing the meta-hacks for those babies.
http://www.localegov.gov.uk/page.cfm?pageID=856&Language=eng
- and this, gentlemen, is what gets you the big bucks
http://www.mysociety.org/cgi-bin/moin.cgi/FundingQuestions
- e-Innovations not just for Ians, Lee and Herring fans
http://www.localegov.gov.uk/page.cfm?pageID=668&language=eng
- there's money in them thar SMS in the community initiatives
We never quite got round to creating an "Appointments" section
in NTK (yes, "Disappointments" might be more our style), but
here's another way you might get a whiff of all that public
cash kicking around - West Sussex's FUTURE SOMETHING PROJECT
is looking for 4 new media-ish freelancers to lead small teams
of "at risk" young people in the design of, well, presumably
something "futuristic" over the next 10 months. Your
availability would need to be 2 days/week for a total of 80-90
days, at a daily rate of UKP200 - but you'd need to email
andy@artswork.demon.co.uk with a "1-2 page proposal of
interest and a current CV/ examples of work" pretty fast, as
the deadline for applications is midnight next Tue March 23rd.
There's a bit more info on the site - but not too much on just
what sort of "Future Something" they've got in mind, so feel
free to borrow our off-the-cuff ideas of: that one-hit wonder
band who did "Breakfast at Tiffany's" (Deep Blue Something), a
Bananarama-based speech synth (Really Saying Something), or
that DR and Quinch episode with the illegible movie script
(Something Something Oranges Something).
http://www.artswork.org.uk/something.html
- robot obstacle detection: "Something In The Way, She Moves"
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
way the world's headed, you're going to need much more alcohol
than that: http://www.ntk.net/2004/03/19/dohbinge.gif ...
fyi, Protein - sugar also happens to be *literal* equivalent
of them, too: http://www.ntk.net/2004/03/19/dohcarbs.gif ...
but c'mon - isn't that the *cutest* "unexpected token" you
ever did see?: http://www.ntk.net/2004/03/19/dohcolon.gif ...
inappropriate banner ads on spoof stories don't really count:
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/rumormill/ipod_killing.html -
Times City Diary http://www.ntk.net/2004/03/19/dohipo.gif ,
please note... abstract illustration department having some
difficulties distinguishing between "worm" and "snake":
http://www.technewsworld.com/perl/story/33142.html ...
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
GOTOs considered non-harmful
For some reason, all the web comics we ever hear about are
from the US (Patrick "Spiders/ The Guy I Almost Was" Farley,
Tom Tomorrow etc) - but there's a chance to rectify that bias
at tomorrow's UK WEB AND MINI-COMIX THING (9am-6pm, Sat 2004-
03-20, Queen Mary College, Stepney, London E1, UKP4, "not
suggested for children under the age of 13"). Sticking in East
London - but fast-forwarding to *next* weekend - cyber-
activism, alternative media, autonomous spaces and "new forms
of organisation" shall be the whole of the law at the
recursively named WTF: WTF'S THE FUTURE? "open space" event
(from 11am, Sat 2004-03-27, 491 Gallery, Leytonstone, London
E11, presumably free), in a schedule described as "There'll be
an open session, followed by a closed session, followed by
open, and then closed, before a small tea break" - proving
that, even in a community which defies all social conventions,
certain behavioural standards must still be maintained.
http://www.ukwebcomixthing.co.uk/
- vs http://www.saturn5.com/~esheep/spiders/
http://wtfcon.org/
- wifi + "foafy-crypto-socio-semantic-typographic-style folk"
>> TRACKING <<
sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering
Following Mr Yozmaster Macromedia Flash's review of DJ
mixing for MP3s, JOHN KELLY writes: "For us Linux users, I
can recommend TERMINATORX to do something vaguely similar.
I've been mixing all sorts of weird and wonderful noises
(the violins from 'Plan 9 From Outer Space' with the
soundtrack from the C64's 'Commando' producing one of the
better results). It's got pretty much everything the
Hercules DJ Console does, with a slightly better interface,
and the ability to use LADSPA ( http://www.ladspa.org/ )
plugins, opening a world of possibilities. Well, not a
world. Maybe a small city."
http://www.terminatorx.cx/
- Okay, a rural village. Still good though.
http://www.terminatorx.cx/turntable.html
- turntable as mouse device. "I grin every time I think about this"
http://hydrogen.sourceforge.net/
- "one of the best drum sequencers I've used on any platform"
>> MEMEPOOL <<
contains a source of http://snackspot.org/
(moderately) new thrill - harsh server opinions on our much-
loved celebrities: http://www.ntk.net/2004/03/19/dohvaughn.gif
http://www.ntk.net/2004/03/19/dohmmc.gif , http://qwer.org/barry.html
+ solo HTML career not going well: http://www.emmabunton.com/
... not just model trains plunging into tunnels (scroll down):
http://www.gaugemaster.co.uk/noch.html ... "funny" headline:
http://www.financeasia.com/articles/06DD9861-F82C-4BFA-96CC2D57EB769A9E.cfm
(sigh)... "any firewall created in America" has FBI back door,
advise - manufacturers of "only UK built firewall system":
http://www.digitalcreativesolutions.co.uk/news.html#artemis3partnership
... http://www.citizencorpse.com/ points to... one of these
URLs not afraid to go against public opinion like the others:
http://images.google.com/images?q=left+arrow&imgsz=icon ...
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
get out less
TV>> now regarded to have had a similar impact on classical
music as Lionel Vinyl's had on the modern MP3 mashup scene,
BBC's 2 and 4 pay tribute to THE GENIUS OF MOZART (from 9pm,
Fri)... "The Dice Man"-inspired DICE LIFE (6.15pm, Sat, C4)
isn't quite the randomly generated dance musical you were
hoping for... while BATTLE STATIONS (7.15pm, Sat, C4) will
hopefully attribute the F-15's "unbeaten" record to it not
having been up against many Su-35s... Heather Locklear - heck,
even William Shatner - look so young in TJ HOOKER (2.45pm,
Sun, C5), part of Five's retro day that, in the form of the
surprisingly competent CHARLIE'S ANGELS (8pm, Sun, C5), reminds
you just how long it's been since The Prodigy released "The
Fat Of The Land"... and, as we always say, nice touch getting
Chef from "South Park" to sing the theme to '70s remake SHAFT
(10pm, Sun, C4)... those "Dawson's Creek" kids just can't help
running into trouble in the likes of URBAN LEGEND (11pm, Mon,
C4) and DISTURBING BEHAVIOUR (11.35pm, Tue, BBC1)... cameras
were intriguingly on hand for the Operation Ore arrest of Pete
Townshend, reveals POLICE PROTECTING CHILDREN (9pm, Tue, BBC2)
... it's Cadbury vs Nestle in the last in this series of FAT
PROFITS (7.30pm, Wed, BBC2)... and reader JOHN "Circlemakers"
LUNDBERG *says* his film THE MYTHOLOGIST (10.40pm, Thu, BBC4)
is about Nottingham shop assistant turned paranormal
investigator "Henry X" - http://www.mythologist.co.uk/ - but
frankly we just don't know what to believe any more...
FILM>> it's no "Zoolander" - or P2P classic "Heat Vision and
Jack" http://www.littlebanana.com/heatscript.htm - but the
slightly hit-and-miss Wilson/ Stiller schtick still gets you
through semi-reverential 1970s homage STARSKY AND HUTCH
( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/starskyandhutch.htm :
[Brande Roderick] strips to nudity in front of Stiller and
Wilson who ogle at her obviously; [Amy Smart] and [Carmen
Elektra]... engage in lesbian kissing; lunacy with a firearm)
... according to this lucid piece of imdb.com trivia, "It is
impossible to actually steal a copy of the SATs because there
are several versions. Everyone who takes it has different
questions or the questions are in a different order" - much to
the surprise of tame high-school exam caper THE PERFECT SCORE
( http://www.screenit.com/movies/2004/the_perfect_score.html :
[Erika "Traffic" Christensen] shows a little bit of cleavage;
[Scarlett Johansson] wears a midriff-revealing top)... or
there's Costner's unreconstructed pre-apocalyptic Western OPEN
RANGE ( http://www.capalert.com/capreports/openrange.htm :
adult in underwear; even the panes of glass in windows were
presented as would glass of the era with waves of varying
density due to the gelatinous nature of window glass of the
time)... plus what appear to be limited releases for Takeshi
Kitano's uninspired samurai-er ZATOICHI (imdb: jidai-geki/
killing/ tap-dance/ based-on-novel)... or Johnny Knoxville
muso romp GRAND THEFT PARSONS ( http://www.bbfc.co.uk/ :
Contains drugs references and one use of strong language)...
AVAILABLE IN A WIDE RANGE OF BLACK>> and the vanguard of this
year's spring NTK t-shirt collection is of course the semi-
arcane "Jumper Setting" suggestion of MR NONEMORENEGATIVE
(the other shunt positions are marked "Vest" and "Cardi"),
currently on sale at http://www.ntkmart.co.uk/ , along with
our first ever music-merchandising tie-in, the complete lyrics
to MJ HIBBETT's low-tech toe-tapper "Hey Hey 16K" ("We bought
it to help with your homework/ And the household accounts/ If
your dad ever works it all out", and so forth). Plus there are
half-price bargains to be had on the last ever stocks (hot
from that exhibition in Sheffield) of the old designs that say
"If I Had A Life I Wouldn't Be Here", the complicated "The
Internet is like" Google search one, plus "NTK - They Stole
Our Revolution, Now We're Stealing It Back"... MJ Hibbett and
NoneMoreNegative both get 2 quid for each of their shirts
sold, and you could be joining them if you mail in any design
suggestions of the general level of obscurity of, say, SIMON
WISTOW's slogans "Dorothy Parker would use a Mac", "High
Functioning Autist", or his somewhat more graphic "attempt to
fan the flames of a nascent anti-social software movement":
http://www.thegestalt.org/simon/images/antisocial.gif (does
anyone have one of those complicated social network graphs
that might illustrate this a bit more effectively?). You can
see where JAMES BOYDEN is going with his button-based concepts
http://www-personal.usyd.edu.au/~jboy1609/Images/Buttons/css_moral.gif ,
http://www-personal.usyd.edu.au/~jboy1609/Images/Buttons/i_use_linux.gif
- but most other recent submissions have been rather more
conceptual, including JONAS BN's "If the world was run by DBAs
would we all be related?", LEE MAGUIRE's "An Atari logo with
middle 'spike' removed, or altered with lettering in Atari
font [to say] MANTITI", plus EDMUND GRIMLEY EVANS' "Do you do
a T-shirt that has the ['unscannable'] EURion Constellation"?
http://wildspark.com/eurionize/ ... RICHARD GREGORY reported
that he saw "a rather clever chap making his own films using
virtual actors in FPS games" (aka StrangeCompany.org's Hugh
Hancock) trying to play our "Buy One, Subvert The Mass Media,
Get One Free" contest on Bravo's GamePad 4, but the only other
action there has been NTK's own "Dave Green" sneaking an
AD/HD shirt onto page 56 of last month's issue of "The Face"
(cover line: "The World's Most Beautiful Woman Meets Fashion's
Greatest Maverick"), an incident which appears to have
constituted "the final straw" for that particular magazine:
http://www.drownedinsound.com/articles/9234.html ...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
Registered at the Post Office as
"ironic rebuttal of the 'time-wasting' claim"
http://forums.unfiction.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=3790&start=105
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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