Need To Know 2001-05-04

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"U.S. Launches Suicide Plan" - http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/ap/20010502/pl/preventing_suicide_3.html ...Yahoo not convinced by that national missile defence system either >> HARD NEWS << grae bampots exspoosed You can't stick a postfix next to a variable these days without causing the imminent collapse of society. The day after US assistant attorney Daniel Alter told a New York court that DeCSS was like "software programs that shut down navigational programs in airplanes or smoke detectors in hotels" (you know, *those* programs), Microsoft's CRAIG MUNDIE was across town, declaiming that the GPL was a virus that would shut down intellectual property inside people's heads. Craig's speech is all about the nightmarish future of an open source world, and is rather heavy on predictions. But then Craig's job at Microsoft is to make gambles on the future of technology. According Marlin Eller's account in "Barbarians Led By Bill Gates", one of Mundie's first acts at Microsoft was killing the company's 1993 low-bandwidth Net project in favour of the *real* future - broadband interactive TV. That said, once Gates caught on to this Interweb thing, Mundie was first to catch on. "We'll tune it for all the platforms, then get hardware companies to build accelerators for it", he predicted, of the Net's most guaranteed success - VRML. Oh, then he masterminded that whole WebTV deal, spending $425m MS mad money on the sure-fire Internet/TV convergence. "We view the Internet as one of the 'features' of digital TV services", he eerily prophesised in 1998. "PC this year, PC-TV's next year", he again predicted - in 1997. Going further back, Mundie features in "Soul of a New Machine" as the nameless guy who loses the race to build a supercomputer. His own supercomputer company went bust in 1992. Should anyone believe his observations about the future of Open Source? As Mundie himself once said "We persist. We're driven by some innate belief about how these things are going to unfold." Even, it seems, when they unfold in completely the opposite direction. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A56874-2001Feb26.html - not sure about Eller's objectivity http://www.s-t.com/daily/05-98/05-10-98/f07bu241.htm - but you know, WSJ http://support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/q276/3/04.ASP - Microsoft's future doesn't get more "secure" than that Must be nice to be a Member of the Scottish Parliament, with another couple of years to go on your watch, and everyone distracted by the General Election. You'd probably think you could relax a bit - update your Website, catch up on your e- mail, maybe take the piss out of your constituents a bit. "I am sure that your GP will give you advice on paranoia, or he will if you have actually registered. Perhaps you have not wanted to give him your name and address" guffaws NICHOLAS JOHNSTON, MSP for Mid Scotland and Fife, at some loon. Of course, the nutter in question was sane local businessman and (tada!) ukcrypto regular David Hansen, asking what were actually quite pertinent questions about the statistical utility of the census. God knows what he'd have said if a constituent had asked about NHS privacy. Perhaps a local NTK subscriber could e-mail him and ask him? On the other hand, he *is* on the Autistic Spectrum Disorder sub-committee, so perhaps he was serious... http://www.scottish.parliament.uk/msps/biographies/jhnstn-n.htm - less Information, Knowledge and Enlightenment and more Chronic Pain, we feel Tempting to end with this *corker* of a story about the BBC's IIS5 servers getting hacked using that new Microsoft Printer 'xploit, and a false Hear'Say story put in its place. Of course, before we lift it wholesale from the Reg, maybe we should corroborate it a bit. Hmm. Doesn't the BBC use a bastard hybrid of Apache on Solaris, with a smit of IIS4 on NT4? That's odd - it appears to have disappeared from the Register's easy- to-understand frontpage. Well, it must be true, because look, here's the reputable Industry Standard running the same story almost verbatim. Surely they must have checked the details? Or even looked closely at the URL that got sent around from the "anonymous tipsters": complete with peculiar at-symbol- followed by large number in the middle. Doh! http://news.bbc.co.uk!articles@3276960428/hi/english/uk/newsid/123456.htm - other recent obits: Father Christmas, the Tooth Fairy http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/8/18713.html - or, just in case: http://www.ntk.net/2001/05/04/dohreg.gif http://www.thestandardeurope.com/article/display/0,1151,16446,00.html - so who's still at the Standard Europe anyway? >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious VIRGIN RADIO "name that tune" compo displays their Real Audio filenames; prizes awarded May 9th, closing date May 24th: http://www.virginradio.co.uk/music/artists/neilfinn/comp.html ... BT inks prestigious sponsorship deal with the ever-popular SERVER ERROR: http://www.ntk.net/2001/05/04/dohbt.gif ... BBC discovers Britney Lasers site that was so big last August: news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/entertainment/new_media/newsid_1306000/1306364.stm ... battling "bearded sysadmin" stereotype, F-SECURE plans on "shaving around 20 percent of its 445-strong workforce": http://www.computeruser.com/news/01/04/30/news11.html ... http://www.rmt.org.uk/rmt/web-update-info.htm "updated every Friday"; http://www.rmt.org.uk/ begs to differ... MORE OVER- literal searches: http://www.ntk.net/2001/05/04/dohgay.gif ... the FRENCH http://www.examineur.com/home.php?Numero=28 imitate http://www.theonion.com/onion3706/nigeria_elects_black_pres.html - et aussi: http://www.examineur.com/home.php?Numero=27 vs http://www.theonion.com/onion3622/god_answers_prayers.html ... stress of large WIN2000 user load causes premature ageing: http://support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/Q281/9/23.ASP ... BRAKE at large; BUNDER launching http://www.mediaschmooze.com/ - do not allow the keymaster and the gatekeeper to meet!... >> EVENT QUEUE << goto's considered non-harmful The CYBERSALON gang have graciously invited us to wear some of our funny t-shirts to their BUBBLETROUBLE.COM "Whither the e- economy now?" hand-wringing session from 7.30pm Tue 2001-05- 08, UKP8 - though of course it is at the ICA, so it could be a trap. Speakers include Independent columnist Eva Pascoe, Lateral's Jon Bains (who appears to *live* at the bloody ICA) plus the reassuring tones of former Wired UK editor John "Hal 9000" Browning, so could be quite entertaining if anyone starts getting too "tasty", if you know what we mean... http://www.cybersalon.org/flyers/bubble.htm - ingeniously parodies doomed dot-coms' fricking Java pop-ups http://interaccess.org/subtle/ - meanwhile, the spirit of Mondo 2000 lives on. In Toronto. http://www.2001thespaceodyssey.com/ - London cannabis demo postponed by rain http://www.simonandsuze.com/ - relax ladies; Waldo's married http://www.goodvibes.com/nmm/ - nothing to do with *any* of the above, we should emphasise >> TRACKING << sufficiently advanced technology : the gathering While those cute little IM apps may be popular with September's children there are some Unix stalwarts who believe they'll never replace irc, write, talk, or (at a last resort) just shouting across the terminal room. Forget your GUI interfaces, if it's not available in 80x25 it's not socially acceptable. Of those that exist, the latest to reach aptable status is ICENTRIQ, a colourful ncurses based client for ICQ under GPL. However, if you're of the opinion that free ICQ clients are just another isotope of proprietary software, then perhaps a console Jabber client might be coming soon to a screen(1) near you. One of the first text apps to use Net::Jabber is sjabber, giving a simple sirc-like interface to Jabber's group conference facility. Righteously old skool and cutting-edge at the same time - and far, far easier than crafting the raw XML by hand. http://konst.org.ua/eng/software/centericq/info.html - no, no! *decentralise* the - oh, what's the use http://www.pipetree.com/jabber/sjabber/ - y'know, more Unix screenshots should come as photos of WYSE terminals http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~jtr/gale/faq/ - gale most righteous, if it didn't scare us so >> MEMEPOOL << monitor veronica hey, no wonder the web looks so totally NOT DIFFERENT AT ALL: http://www.threeoh.com/may1/ ... THORIN still singing about gold: http://totalgames.net/news/newsfull.epml?news.REF=479 ... ah, the old "agent looks like BRITNEY SPEARS" routine: http://www.jobserve.com/jobserve/JobDetail.asp?jobid=13858030 ... not the FARM SEX thumbnails you'd maybe been hoping for: http://www.crosswinds.net/~youpi/astrologie/comp_chevre2.htm ... if LEE AND HERRING ever diversify into spreading God's word: http://www.axtell.com/veggie.html#veggiewho ... this week's self-confessed "British ONION-y newsertainment fakerama": http://www.dotcock.com/ ... if you're DJing at http://www.backintimelive.com : http://www.beigerecords.com/ ... this week's FLASH novelties: http://paradigm.nu/icann/ , http://www.eugenemirman.com/ ... bare-knuckle NATHAN-fighting http://www.revolutionmagazine.com/wall/Wall_Thread.asp?Thread=1216 ... HOLLYWOOD deliberately making bad films so they can blame revenue loss on peer-to-peer filesharing, get them shut down: http://dailynews.yahoo.com/htx/nm/20010427/en/film-deepfocus_1.html ... ROBOT FINDS KITTEN http://robotfindskitten.org/ versus MONKEY VS ROBOT http://208.34.189.52/MonkeyVsRobot300k.asf ... oh come on, "Infected" was one of the best albums of the '80s: http://www.messiahnyc.org/resources/sermons/war_against_the.htm ... >> GEEK MEDIA << the less rude www.tvgohome.com TV>> Dana "Garth" Carvey borrows his brother's NewTek t-shirt http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/2.05/flying.toasters.html for underrated rock-geek sequel WAYNE'S WORLD 2 (11.05pm, Fri, BBC1)... like you hadn't guessed, persistent multimedia meddlers Coldcut are somehow behind DIGITAL UNDERGROUND AND REMIXED TELEVISION (2am, Fri, C4)... and it looks like the omnibus concluding episodes of THE LARRY SANDERS SHOW are on tonight instead of Saturday (from 9pm, Fri, UK Play)... C4 devotes nearly 5 hours to THE 100 GREATEST TV CHARACTERS (9pm, Sat & Sun, C4)... normally when they show THE FUGITIVE (9pm, Sat, ITV) there's a spectacular train crash and it has to be postponed... and, for the benefit of whoever mailed tips asking "Was that [NTK's] Danny O'Brien on SF:UK or did Lee [Hurst] of They Think It's All Over fame stil [sic] his eyes?" - no, that sounds like Greg Rowland, though there does appear to be an NTK staffer impersonating Eldon Tyrell just before this week's Kevin Warwick, Iain Banks-featuring edition (1am, Sat, C4)... WIRED WORLD (2pm, Sun, some ITV) is "a five-part series that looks at how the e-world is changing" (Radio Times), though presumably they don't mean Apple's proprietary online service of the same name... the ever-entertaining David Icke unveils the Illuminati as THE SECRET RULERS OF THE WORLD (8pm, Sun, C4) - though we'd really like to see "When Louis Theroux Met Jon Ronson"... and C4's 4later strand bows out (for now) with three animated shorts about AI (from 3.20am, Sun, C4)... bad Bank Holiday movies include Jonathan "Yes Minister" Lynn's remake atrocity SGT BILKO (3pm, Mon, BBC1), mild Helen Hunt nudity nonsense AS GOOD AS IT GETS (9.15pm, Mon, C4), plus of course Michael Crichton's refreshingly dull THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN (11.20pm, Mon, BBC1)... if BBC2 are applying "cancelled in the US, so it must be good" criteria to religious animation GOD, THE DEVIL AND BOB (10pm, Tue, BBC2), then roll on "Clerks: The Animated Series"... nothing gets fanmail like murdering prostitutes with a screwdriver, imply the writers of LETTERS TO THE YORKSHIRE RIPPER (10.35pm, Wed, BBC1)... and Mira Sorvino, Chow Yun-Fat blast their way through THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS (9pm, Thu, C5) - better known to connoisseurs as "Time Crisis: The Movie"... FILM>> brave young coder Ryan "Way Of The Gun" Philippe must choose between Rachel Leigh "She's All That" Cook and Claire "Press Gang" Forlani, presumably representing Windows and Linux - but which is which? - in techno-clunkeroo ANTITRUST (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/antitrust.htm : adult [Claire Forlani] in underwear; promotion of the "global village"; several examples of "Kevorkian" violence art)... apparently the film's exactly the same as the popular holiday- paperback, apart from the obligatory Nicolas Cage "wig out" scene where he invents rock and roll using just CAPTAIN CORELLI'S MANDOLIN (MPAA: Rated R for some violence, sexuality and language). What with this and this year's "Pearl Harbour" and "Enemy At The Gates", WW2 was clearly a fantastic opportunity to meet chicks... or it's Morgan "Seven" Freeman, Monica "Patch Adams" Potter, and Lee "Once Were Warriors" Tamahori - together at last! - in formula "Kiss The Girls" follow-up ALONG CAME A SPIDER (imdb: sequel / disguise / encryption / phone-booth / ransom / stakeout / subway / twist- in-the-end / washington-d.c. / kidnapping / killer / murder / boat / helicopter / classroom / diamond / double-cross / escape / farmhouse / intercom / internet / partner / serial- killer / shotgun / sting-operation), and raising the intriguing possibility that the third film will be entitled "Wee-Wee-Wee All The Way Home"... >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. Registered at the Post Office as "obsessed with fame, guns, the media - who isn't?" NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Unsubscribe? Mail ntknow-unsubscribe@lists.ntk.net Subscribe? Mail ntknow-subscribe@lists.ntk.net NTK now is supported by UNFORTU.NET, and by you: http://www.ntkmart.com/ (K) 2001 Special Projects. Copying is fine, but include URL: http://www.ntk.net/ Tips, news and gossip to tips@spesh.com All communication is for publication, unless you beg. Press releases from naive PR people to pr@spesh.com Remember: Your work email may be monitored if sending sensitive material. Sending >500KB attachments is forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Your country may be at risk if you fail to comply.