Need To Know 1998-01-16

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"The Internet too often resembles a cocktail conversation rather than a tool for effective health care communication and decision making." - From the Journal of the American Medical Association www.news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_47000/47664.stm yes, doctor, but how often is "too often"? >> HARD NEWS << concrete overshoes EXCITE emphasised the "secondary" in its title of "the Net's secondary search engine" this week, by offering every schoolchild in the UK a free e-mail account, supported by "suitable" advertising. Lots of fun questions instantly arise: given that Web e-mail is about as insecure as you can get, which teen hacker will be the first to write a password grabber that lets them read the rest of the school's mail - including the teachers? And who exactly are "suitable" advertisers for kids? Crayola? Mattel? And given that every e-mail address takes the form yourname.uk@excitepost.com, will all children with names ending in "f" get a brand new nickname? http://www.excitepost.com/ - The "@aol.com" of tomorrow Already a strong candidate for Antinews of the Year, WEBMEDIA's collapse - what's the cliche we're looking for here? - sent shockwaves through the UK Web design community. As if there wasn't enough Shockwave there as it is. Damage was concentrated near the epicentre, which might explain the tsunami of invective directed at investors Megalomedia on Webmedia's ex-site over the weekend. Sources at Webmedia indicated that the accusations contained in the hacked site were wildly inaccurate, but sources went a bit quiet about why, in that case, Megalomedia stomped so heavily on any site that dared to copy the accusations ... for reporting purposes, naturally. In the meantime, ex- Webmedia partner Ivan Pope is sniggering his way to a couple of big announcements in the near future. Can anti- Pope Steve Bowbrick fight back? Now that he's got a comfortable consultancy, does he even care? http://www.webmedia.com/ - the hack has gone news:alt.anonymous.messages - but hold! What's *this*? (if you can't see it, try on Monday) When DENNIS announced the "suspension" of Net 'n' Chicks 'n' Games 'n' Lager magazine ESCAPE this week, the board said they felt that "the market was not yet ready". What they didn't reveal was that the market in question was eponymous company owner Felix Dennis. Best known for his involvement in the Oz magazine trial, when he was charged with corrupting youth, and the BLENDER CD-ROM magazine trial, when he was charged with corrupting AUTOEXEC.BATs, Felix was holidaying in Mustique when he received the latest issue of the mag. Unfortunately for everyone, it was raining, and Felix actually read it. One phone-call later, and it was all over for the plucky - if occasionally absentee - team. Concerned Dennis employees are now wondering where the Felix finger of death will touch next. Hint: he was last seen flicking through a mag whose design, it is said, he feels to be "art wank shit". http://www.escapemag.co.uk:80/cypherpunk/themag.html - "look who's stalking" indeed Microsoft's new "charm offensive" got off to a bad start this week. As reported by the frankly great www.tbtf.com, Microsoft's Chief of Operations Robert Herbold was asked in one of their "friendly" interviews how small firms could compete with his company. Herbold said they had three options: fight a losing battle, sell out to Microsoft, or they could "not go into business to begin with because, hey, if you're a betting person, you know which way it's going to go." Elsewhere, Microsoft continued to discover that you can't bullshit a bullshitter - especially such a distinguished veteran as the US government. In court, Microsoft handwaved through the files on the Internet Explorer CD-ROM, and explained how Windows 95 just couldn't work without them. Readers who've never installed Explorer are excused wondering how they ever managed without; readers who have installed Explorer should now understand that they are never *ever* going to get rid of it. Judge Jackson looked suitably underwhelmed. Where do you want to go today, Microsoft, he seemed to hiss - Sing Sing? http://www.tbtf.com/archive/01-12-98.html#s01 - and this is them being nice? http://www.news.com/Perspectives/Soapbox/rs12_30_97a.html - also via TBTF - how Microsoft screwed the UK 3D engine scene (allegedly) >> ANTI-NEWS << berating the obvious "Breathing could be fatal" says cautious BBC... BSkyB digital boxes delayed until June... shock survey reveals UK Net users to be mostly white males (*very* white, in our experience)... IE Explorer security bug... after decade of "high prices have nothing to do with piracy", Microsoft lowers prices in Asia "to discourage piracy"... EMAP banner ad team curiously quiet about appearance of "L. Ron Hubbard - had the wisdom" ads on client sites... Internet Business mag lists "100 net firms tipped for success in 1998", includes Webmedia Ltd... .Net's mailing list hacked, "due to administrative oversight"... Ian Hislop sells out to MSN... Digital TV will make teletext services "more sophisticated," FT predicts... Lord of Realm's son admits to buying "Grand Theft Auto" demo, claims "not motivated to go out and steal cars"... >> EVENT QUEUE << pointers to class behaviours Our distant cousin MUTE magazine, which we continue to believe is the "art" to our "wank shit", is hosting a CYBER.SALON (love the dot!) at the Upper Bar, White Horse, 16 Newburgh Street, London at 7pm on Wed 21/01/98. The topic is "The Digital Artisans", and stars opinionated loon Richard Barbrook and Anj Medhurst, who is (it says here) a Technowhore. The show is co-sponsored by the Hypermedia Research Centre, which is not, we repeat, is not, a front for the Moonies - nor the MIT Media Lab, neither. http://www.metamute.com/ http://www.hrc.wmin.ac.uk/hrc/ - "cyberbollocks" It's the fifth anniversary of the most written-about MOO in the whole darn MUDiverse. To celebrate, the "inhabitants" of the MOO are having a costume parade (dresses designed by Howard Rheingold - no, we're not making this up). It's preceded by a jocular, fun-packed debate on "Virtual Worlds for Business" with Adele Goldberg and Amy Bruckman, and a roustabout discussion called "Who Sped Up The MOO?", which covers technical improvements in the LambdaMOO implementation. Be there or be a Gray_Guest! The show starts at 11:30GMT on Tuesday 20/01/98. Sweetly, the organisers "apologize to residents of Europe for the late hour" - as if anyone who uses MUDs is up during the day. http://www.ntk.net/mediamoo/invite.txt full details And finally, music-biz tradefest MIDEM '98 hits Cannes tomorrow (17/01/98) with seminars on digital radio, digital distribution, digital techno, and (we suspect) a lot of very scared record company suits denying that MP3 is a problem. Among the exciting new talent entertaining the execs are DJ Carl Cox, 80s rockers Daryl Hall & John Oates, and - in a triumph of subverting from within - outspoken anarcho-syndicalists Chumbawumba. http://www.midem.com/cannes/index.htm - hey, even agit-proppers need a holiday >> TRACKING SPECIAL << wavey davey where are you? We'd have pursued our usual Tracking search for the best new code and sites this week, but our bandwidth was wiped out by helpful replies to our claim to have "lost track of" net.pundit Wavey Davey W*****r. It was Gary Taylor who first pointed us in the direction of PC PRO magazine, where Davey apparently runs a regular column under the byline "Dave Winder - author, freelance journalist, broadcaster and consultant specialising in the Internet and computer communications". Paul Agius reports that one of Wavey's recent columns was "about a web page called Davey Winder Haters." (That'll be us as well then - in fact, it badly needs updating, but it's tough keeping up with all the mail...) According to Paul, "He did not seem to be amused." Hopefully, Davey offers a more cheery aspect to his readers in top glamour title FIESTA, where Andy Stox resolutely claimed not to have spotted another of his Net columns. We also received an e-mail about "a friend of a friend" who worked with Wavey Davey on our previously featured video GAMES ON THE .NET (still reduced to UKP1.99 at Virgin Megastores). This FOAF claimed that Wavey Davey wore a wooden leg throughout the filming. Well, that seems as good a point as any to close the correspondence. We request that any more sightings of Davey Winder - or any part thereof - be sent to Davey directly at waveydavey@dial.pipex.com, where we understand he is always glad to receive your mail. http://alt.venus.co.uk/davegreen/winder.html - we still have the unclaimed copy of micromachines, though THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE: anyone got an MP3 or RA of Victor Lewis-Smith's "never to be released" spoof call to Princess Di, in which he pretends to be Stephen Hawking? Let's all mail him at www.lewis-smith.com - the big coward. >> MEMEPOOL << hasta la altavista Vertigo Comics hires Jack "Terraplane/ Elvissey" Womack?... www.parascope.com ... Sony's smart video labels... Sega president says sayonara?... www.rwalker.com/nscp.html ... Is UK hacker Cyberjunky turning legit?... Yeltsin cameo in "Weekend At Bernie's" sequel?... Richard Hamming, inwenuor og tie Hamming Code, diee... ex-Wired ed John Battelle's "Internet Industry Standard" out soon... Titanic F/X done on Linux; UNIX roadmap based on Titanic's... Forget www.dianabear.com (again), we want a "Leah Betts RIP" ecstasy pill... Hey, JOHNNY RICO! How about the troopers borrow A TANK?... Sonny Bono, Michael Kennedy and the "Lone Tree" conspiracy... http://stomper.base.org/... new videogame based on "Wargames"... next move for alcopops? alconicotinopops!... http://observe.ivv.nasa.gov/ ... Microsoft scanning *entire* IP number space from Redmond (check for "generic" in your logs)... www.scallywag.org *still* going? ... http://people.netscape.com/jwz/dadadodo/ >> GEEK MEDIA << dramatic resolutions TV/RADIO>> when we met Father Lionel Fanthorpe, paranormal presenter of FORTEAN TV (8pm, Fri, C4), we advised him to "play up the musical bits", and - inexplicably - he appears to have concurred... other strangeness in Aussie sci-fi AS TIME GOES BY (12.45am, Fri, BBC1), Spike Lee's extended Public Enemy video DO THE RIGHT THING (12.45am, Fri, BBC2), and Armando Ianucci smug-a-thon FRIDAY NIGHT ARMISTICE, which promises a visit to Rolf Harris's Psychiatric Hospital... some original cast (the voice of Orac!) return for a pre-Gauda Prime sequel to BLAKE'S 7 (2.30pm, Sat, R4) - Blake's extra 7 stone, more like... sure, the critics (and the public) hated it, but action movies got way more ironic after Arnie played THE LAST ACTION HERO (8pm, Sat, ITV)... then, in an unfortunate similar-titles clash, Wil "Wesley Crusher" Wheaton lays in a course for THE LAST PROSTITUTE (12.30am, Sat, LWT)... so what is it, Schwarzenegger season? - BBC1 follows last week's Junior with equally weird kid-pleaser KINDERGARTEN COP (7.15pm, Sun, BBC1), and C4 peers into THE ABYSS (9pm, Sun, C4) in the company of old Arnie-cronie Jim "Director's Cut" Cameron... wannabe model Tessa is complimented on "looking like an alien" in BABEWATCH (8.30pm, Mon, ITV), while new construction-vehicle series CLASSIC PLANT (8.30pm, Mon, C4) opens with "Diggers" and is narrated by (the almost- obligatory) John Peel... author of let's-all-be-brothers sci-fi hokum ENEMY MINE (10pm, Tue, C4) says it was the studio that insisted on the subplot involving a mine, claiming that the audience "would not realise that the 'Mine' in the title was a possessive rather than an object"... forget firing guns on planes - the rocket crew in partial Alien-inspiration IT! THE TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE (12.05am, Tue, C4) have no qualms about letting rip with a bazooka... your statutory rights are not affected by the new series of effortful satire THE MARK THOMAS COMEDY PRODUCT (11pm, Wed, C4)... sinisterly, ITV follows straight-talking docu THE TRUTH ABOUT WOMEN (9pm, Thu, ITV) with - you've guessed it - FATAL ATTRACTION (10.40pm, Thu, ITV)... FILMS>> the only good thing about Brit showbiz spoof BRING ME THE HEAD OF MAVIS DAVIS (imdb: "comedy") is that someone might kill Rik Mayall and/or Jane Horrocks to try and ensure its success... don't be misled by the disco soundtrack, the universally acclaimed BOOGIE NIGHTS (imdb: drama/ 1970s/ disco/ adultery/ prosthetic-body-part/ mother-figure/ child-custody/ porn-makers/ title-based-on- song/ drugs/ sex/ vulgarity) appears to be about a different kind of "boogieing" altogether... Pacino overacts in lawyer=Satan antinews DEVIL'S ADVOCATE (imdb: action/ thriller/ crime/ mystery/ animals/ art/ black-comedy/ black-magic/ corruption/ lesbian-scene/ sexuality/ insanity/ endless-loop/ supernatural/ incest/ psychological/ law/ courtroom/ devil/ law-suits/ twist-in- the-end/ father-son/ drama/ erotica/ family/ flashback/ intrigue/ murder/ based-on-novel/ mythological/ horror/ religion/ sexual/ subculture/ surreal/ voodoo/ satanism/ subway/ lucifer)... Icelanders underact on weirdie comedy DEVIL'S ISLAND (imdb: drama/ post-wwii/ 1950s/ barracks/ based-on-true-story/ camp/ humor/ rock'n'roll/ based-on- novel)... and a man plays videogames while a house blows up (among other scenes) in Serbian-made limited-release PRETTY VILLAGE, PRETTY FLAME (imdb: war/ former-yugoslavia/ comedy / drama/ ethnic-conflict)... TO URL IS HUMAN>> It was http://www.uni-pen.co.uk , not http://www.uni-ball.co.uk. It wasn't http://www.gothicclassifieds.com, it was http://www.gothic-classifieds.com . What can we say? Tim Berners-Lee always said these things weren't supposed to be comprehensible to humans. >> SMALL PRINT << Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent. It is registered at the Post Office as "exploited". ( Thanks, Dennis J. ) NEED TO KNOW THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK. Archive - http://www.ntk.net/ Excuses - http://www.spesh.com/ntk/ Unsubscribe? Mail majordomo@unfortu.net with 'unsubscribe ntknow'. Subscribe? Mail majordomo@unfortu.net with 'subscribe ntknow'. NTK now is helped by VIRGIN NET, VENUS INTERNET and UNFORTU.NET. They worry about us, but we don't worry about them. (K) 1997 Special Projects. 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